My studying today touched on accidentally eating something not kosher. I thought the response was useful, and positive. So, I thought about vegetarians and vegans who slip out of ignorance (or peacemaking, which is sometimes the greater compassion). So I'm reapplying the discussion here. First, guilt serves no purpose. The feeling that you want to rectify a wrong does serve a purpose. Basically, anything that promotes moving forward, not dwelling in the past and generally making you a depressed blob of psychological issues, is good. But, you can, and perhaps should, make an effort to be more careful in the future. Does that mean you educate yourself on Vitamin D, or "natural flavorings" or the sloppiness of a restaurant kitchen? Good, you have something concrete to do! Do it! Does it mean you rethink how to handle well meaning friends and relatives? Or maybe skipping meals with known offenders? Again, a concrete action. Of course, my study is religio-spiritual, so the thought of making up for an error was high. One suggestion was tzedakah, or giving. Typically, this is the Jewish way to contribute to the greater good. It can be material or action, or both. So, let's say you had a meal with your family and your charming older brother decides to spill the beans about what was really in the pie crust. I suggest that throttling him is a lose-lose proposition. My steps would be: vow to bring the pie next time. (preventing a recurrence) Donating to an organization of merit. I wouldn't necessarily go for a vegan org, but I might go for an animal welfare organization such as a shelter. I could go for any organization that is creating good in the world, from Surfrider to Earthwatch, to the local volunteer firefighters to Solar Gardens Institute. Likely I'd give time as well, since my money is usually thin. What do you do when the inevitable "slip you some meat" or mistake from lack of full information happens?
I'm sorry nobody replied to your post before now. I know the thread is old, but I'll take a stab at it. Your scenario hasn't actually happened to me that I can recall, but if someone feeds me something adulterated but it's an honest mistake, then of course I don't get upset. If they weren't *trying* to foist it on me then there's no point in blaming them. And I'd wait until some time in the future to talk to them about it, because doing it at mealtime is just going to make them defensive. Someone *intentionally* slipping me something they know I don't eat would be an entirely different matter. That would show a profound lack of respect, and anyone who violated my trust like that would certainly hear my displeasure about it. I don't let anyone walk all over me, whether it's friends or family, and I don't think anyone else should either.
One of the Lamas of Tibetan lineage once remarked that people have the right to be wrong. So some well meaning or merely clueless (how often do we have to explain that broth from meat is still meat to us? Or yes, lard is from a pig? Let alone honey and cochineal?) cook can get animal bits and products into veg*n food out of a lack of full education. But what if it is us who are short on education? Like the vitamin D issue, isinglass clarifiers in beer and wine, some new additive in the veggie burgers that is derived from milk or egg? Or even if we slip because we are human? (I'm especially thinking of early in the journey vegetarians and vegans) or to make peace? (I did this often age 13-17 with my grandmother who was convinced animal proteins were superior in every way-- that is what a home Economics degree from the 1920s will teach you) How easy is it for you to forgive yourself? And welcome Michael!
