"Escaping Reality" part one (My Diphenhydramine Trip)

Hi. Short history about myself. I'm an 18 year old girl with high functioning autism disorder, OCD (obsessing about making mistakes compulsively apologize), depression, and recently I developed some drug dependency issues. My dad left me when I was a toddler and has never set a good example, after he left us he got into jail after scamming people for money. havent seen him since middle school. didnt have much of a connection. my mom got married again, around 7 yrs later they split up. for a few more yrs she was with no one but is now with a guy, and im glad he makes her happy. i want them to be happy together.

anyways, it started with weed and cigarettes. weed has never influenced me to do anything i regret. i love weed. but later on when my depression was getting really bad and my previous medication (Prozac) was fucking me over, i did alcohol and it sent me to the hospital cuz i was suicidal. later down the road I met someone who said he was a pill popper. He didn't talk me into doing it, but by him saying it, I was interested and wanted to learn about it. I researched some online, read a few books, and contemplated. (btw im prescribed to Zoloft now it kinda helps though i dont depend on it to feel not depressed or stressed. no negative effects).


Diphenhydramine Trip:

the first i learned about was Diphenhydramine (Benadryl). I found out at higher doses it acts as a hallucinogen and causes some strong effects. Things were getting kinda bad for me and my family and all this shit going on, i just got to the point where i didnt care anymore. So I found some Benadryl on the counter in the kitchen, and took about 8 pills.

Now the effects of this drug are difficult to explain. It started with a heavy feeling in my body, almost like i was melting or sagging. It didn't look like it but it sure as hell felt like it. It felt funny to walk and I just stayed seated most of the time.

I began to see ghosts in my room. They were walking all around, like transparent people. I wasnt afraid of them though. Then I looked out my window, I saw a man, he looked like a ghost and I tried to talk to him. He just smiled and looked at me. then he disapeared.

later i had a conversation with my desk cuz it had a face, and i saw a snake on my desk and images of people having sex, seriously it was hella weird. i saw a man in my door and i said outloud "want a hug, buddy?" he disapeared later. later on i knew i was trippin so i tried to calm down and relax. i layed down and eventually went to sleep. woke up and felt just fine.

*

That first experience wasnt bad, so I tried the Diph trip a handful of times, I would say once every weekend or so. I did my best to not build up my tolerance, so I kept myself busy doing other things.

Another time I tried it, I ended up popping a whole bottle and it had 38 pills in it. i tripped so hard i couldnt focus on wut my friend was saying (she was comin over and watchin over me since she was sober, she didnt know i was gonna trip but i told her). I did it cuz I wanted to escape reality. And again, I didn't care.

I saw a snail on my leg. A tarantula on the ground next to me. I couldnt walk at all i kept trippin over my feet. I kept sayin "what?" and id try to talk about things but couldnt explain. eventually i knew i needed to sleep, i had a bruise on my head cuz i hit it in 2 different places when i stumbled/fell. eventually i went to sleep and i was alright, not dying or anything.

since my friend witnessed my trip, she told my family wut happened. and then things got so bad i got a lot taken away from me, at the time i was still only 17. i got most of my freedoms taken away, which i understand cuz theyre worried and it was my fault.

Unfortunately i didnt learn from that mistake, i did Diph a few more times and then I decided its not worth it anymore. I told myself I wouldnt fuck with any drugs anymore, i started going into therapy, and trying my best to recover myself. i felt like i was no longer depressed, but later on i went downhill again. so many issues were going on at the time, i dont have the time to type out everything. its just a mess. family issues friend issues fighting lack of money lack of trust etc etc etc.


When I went downhill again, I experimented with a different drug, and I will post about my experience on part two. From my experience, I know diph is a scary drug, at times it had me hiding under my blanket from a creepy shadow man. it is hard to distinguish the hallucinations from reality. u might see the scariest of things. also your tolerance gets high fast and it's not a good idea to do recreationally. at a concert when i was walking home on a Diph trip, i saw a guy and asked him for a cigarette cuz he was sad. But he wasn't there and i was talkin nonsense. that was probably my best experience cuz i was with a friend and we saw amazing music while smoking in the crowd.

even though that was fun, i dont wanna mess with that drug again. it caused a lot of problems in my life and isnt worrth it.

anyways, im gonna type part 2 later, bye all

 

i don't think i've ever read a positive report about overdosing on benedryl...

 

38 pills, shit. That can fuck your heart up real bad.

A lot of people (including myself) had a similar idea of "I'm gonna quit drugs, go to therapy, and make things right". I would never tell anyone to not do this, if they felt it was right, but a lot of times we fall easily into the idea that in order to be mentally healthy, we have to listen to everything that doctors tell us to do. There are ways to live an alternative yet healthy lifestyle.

You know yourself better than anyone- don't do the routine just because it's the routine.

I'm curious, what other chemicals have you experienced, either recreational or prescribed or both?

 

I'm considering DPH as one of my next trips, but holymotherofgod 38 pills?! That's a crazy amount. Just curious if you know how many mg's your trips were?

 

+1.

Most experiences I've read on erowid said they saw/heard/felt 3ft spiders crawling on them. I'd really wanna try it, every experience sounds so fascinating but IDK if I'll freak out or something. Waiting for that right moment I guess.

 

Yes I know what I did was hella stupid, at the time I was just like fuck it, and my tolerance was high so yeah. Not doin that again hell no

 

Also, not only with DPH but in the future with anything- don't ignore the fact that you're on Zoloft; SSRI's can be nasty with many drugs, as well as mute MDMA and serotonergic psychedelics.

You probably know that already, just a friendly reminder to play safe

 

the 38(ish) dose I took each pill was 25 mg. Together that's about 950 mg.

Dosage levels of Diph are generally as follows:
Threshhold: 50-150mg Light:150-200mg Strong: 200-500mg

i definitely went overboard cuz i didn't care anymore, it was awful. anything above 500mg is when u should stop and it becomes very dangerous.

 

I think on a DPH trip you have to have a very clear mind and happy mood, otherwise your imagination will just conjure up all sorts of terrifying images, maybe even your worst fears?

 

good point. i noticed when id trip on Diph, it was great when i was feeling happy and worry free. the times i tripped when i was depressed were interesting, but slightly scary. it's a weird drug, u never know if your trip will be good or bad, even if u take a low starting dose.

 

Spiders are the norm, yes.

A dude on grasscity was on it, all the people around him where spiders, like carrying briefcases and going about their business, if I remember right.... but the one thing I know he said is that he saw a spider driving a taxicab, just being a normal taxi driver, but a huge spider, too..... with a clown's face.