My husband and I are in an open relationship and have been for over 10 years. We have regular sex and a really good healthy relationship. Our rule is that protection is used with anyone else and we always share who we're seeing with each-other. For the most part my husband hooks up once or twice a month. There's a single woman at work he likes and he sometimes sees another woman from our health club. I don't take advantage of this arrangement nearly as much as he does, my last time with another man was about six months ago with an old high school friend who happened to be in town. Has anyone else been in an open relationship long term that's worked out well?
Why? My problem is not so much open relationships not working out, as it is finding women who`d go for such a thing. I did have a very satisfying open relationship once, that ended due to my moving to another city. In fact, it was the easiest, most trouble-free relationship I`ve ever had. I still keep loosely in touch with her.
Nowhere near 10 years but I was in a 3ish year open relationship. We both took full advantage of it though. We had sat down in the beginning and laid out the ground rules, we always stuck to them and communicated with each other and it worked out great. In other open relationships Ive seen it never seems to work as well when both people aren't using it to the same extent.
We had a lot of communication before we started the whole open relationship thing. Can other people tell me two thing. . . 1. What guidelines and boundaries did you set up with your partner. 2. How did things work out? How did you actually live out the open relationship? For us 1. We agreed 100% protection with other people. We agreed everything that happened behind closed doors with the other people was private. We agreed that we'd always tell each-other who we were seeing and when. We agreed not to spend a lot of time away from home and we agreed not to see anyone who was cheating on a spouse. 2. I primarily like to hook up when I get the opportunity and I'd often get some action on business trips. Since I no longer travel like I used to I have fewer opportunities, but I still totally spring on them when I can. My husband prefers to have something on the side and he's going between two women right now.
You have to keep communication all the time i think. Even if its as simple of asking if everything is still good the way it is. We'd talk about just about everything though, the people we were seeing, what we were doing with them, our feelings, wants etc. As far as rules it was pretty simple, always use protection, let the other person know about who their with, not with anyone for multiple days, if your not coming home tell the other, if you start to fall for someone speak up. My relationship ended because they guy moved for work.
good job on being able to even consider such an idea. I could never be in an open relationship, too jealous. from people I've known and what I've heard, its sounds like someone always ends up getting burned in this sort of lifestyle. but after ten years and sill going strong? good for you. I wish I could give some advice.
WOW, pretty impressed that you have been able to keep an open relationship going and you still have sex with each other also. It seems like for most people it doesn't work unless they are there watching the other fuck and get off on it. Do you two ever talk about details the other experienced during sex with someone else? Is there any jealousy?
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Impressive OP. I've been in an open relationship with my wife for the last 18 monthe - only in our situation I'm bisexual and she is not. Also complicated by the fact that we are geogrpahiclly apart for maybe 3 months at a time. At first she had a bf with whom we had been haing a 3sum for four months, but she only sees him rarely now, and is not seeing anyone else. I have committed to her that she is my only female sex partner but am quite active with guys. So I suppose we are in the above-mentioned scenario of an 'unequal' open relationship. As with you all we tell each other everything and use protection with all other partners. At this point in time she would be happy to go back to monogamy but, having opened the stable door i have no desire for that - I'm enjoying my freedom to explore my same sex side; I should add that for around five years before this I had been cheating on her with guys, and so being out with her now is like a liberation. I should say that we have been married 20 years and still love each other very much. Any suggestions? Simon:sunny:
I`ve had two open relationships in my life. The first one was DADT. The second one was tell-all. If I were to have an open relationship nowadays, I`d mix it up: DADT for casual sex; tell-all whenever a regular thing came up. ----- As far as safety, I`d just require testing.
so does that mean you cheat on your partner Cherea when it's casual hook-ups but tell them when u have a regular fb? An open relationship should be fully open but I'm begining to think that this system might be good too! Simon :sunny:
The advice I would have would be to tell all to each other. For one, if you are in a long term relationship then communication is important. Also, it can be hot to have sex with my husband knowing his dick has been up in some other girl. You owe it to yourselves and each other to use protection and be safe.
No! That`s not what it means! I have never cheated on anyone in my whole life. I take pride in that fact. Although, I don`t judge people who do. What I mean is a mutual agreement that one does not need to "tell" casual hook ups. Another expression for it is a "hall pass." Of course, if my partner asks, I`ll tell him or her. I personally don`t see the point in getting wind of every one-night stand or orgy my partner is in, unless it becomes a regular thing.
Nope - when i am with someone and committed I never seen any other male as sexually attractive its like a switch has been flicked off - I like to practice tantra too if I am with someone long term and the energy build up just wouldn't be there if it was shared outside. When I was 23 I had a relationship with a guy who was 27 and he had never been in a 'closed ' situation he was my best friend and I wouldn't go into a relationship with him unless it was closed. He was amazing, although every man, woman everyone he came across seemed to be into him and make passes at him. It was an interesting 2 year relationship, in the end I knew he had to be free he was too much of that kinda of spirit so I let him go. Many tears and a year later I learnt not to get involved with anyone with that kinda vibe. It sounds like in your relationship you feel it is out of balance, maybe it doesn't need to be be equal lovers in the bedroom and you can adjust although you must be feeling a little uneasy to write this thread? I am very protective of my man, for them to be with someone else would be the end of our connextion, then again it has been awhile since I have had a relationship so maybe I would do some things differently who knows. You are more evolved in some ways than I.. I feel I am still a one person kinda woman, ride the journey together and work through the differences of life, but sleeping around is a big no -no out of respect and love .... Do you feel you are changing and want him to be less involved with other women? As you sound like you have flings, but he has long term outside connections, that must be challenging? Be happy I hope you work it out or move on..
I was involved with a woman who was in an open relationship. Her husband was actually my best friend at the time. I was with her for about 4 months. It ended when he became jealous, as he couldn't find another girl for himself. I later found out that she was with a girl for a few months before I came along, and it ended for the same reasons. I think the trick to an open relationship is making sure you both get something out of it. Sharing helps alone way too.
