I have worked with a girl, B, for about three years now, and we are also good friends outside of work. We are the same age, and have a lot of things in common, so we liked each other from the first day. During the last year and a half, I started to develop more and more feelings for B, and I have fallen very much in love with her. Thinking back, I probably had feelings for her right from the start, but couldn't admit it to myself. I have never felt this way for a woman before. During the last couple of years, she has had a lot of problems with her boyfriends, and of course she told me about it, and she didn't know, how I felt about her at the time, and I was not ready to tell her, so it was very difficult for me, to listen and support her and be a good friend, while I really wanted her for myself and felt very jaloux. Her first boyfriend cheated on her, and then broke up with her after a six year relationship, and her new boyfriend has a lot of psychological problems, so there have been many ups and downs in their relationship. Last monday I just couldn't keep my feelings contained anymore, I felt it was the right time to tell her, how I felt. So I told her, and her response was, that it didn't change anything for her, she was still my friend, and she was glad, that I told her, but she didn't feel that way about me, and only liked men. This was the response that I had expected, but it still hurt to be told, that she is not interested in me that way. Things have been okay between us during the week, a little bit awkward on tuesday morning, but we quickly got over that. But I am really really sad all the time. I'm still very much in love with her, and I dont know, what to do with myself. Does anyone have any advice, or have you experienced something like this yourselves???
Awwwwww ... big hug from me, hun. You're very lucky that she took it as well as she did. "I can't love you back but it changes nothing" is a very mature response. And just as long as it GENUINELY changes nothing, then be very pleased simply that you still have her as a friend.
I am pretty much going through the same thing myself. I am in love with my roommate/best friend. We did actually date briefly (that is how we became friends). She just doesn't love me like that. Its really hard. I am trying to do things to interact with new/more people. I signed up for college, joined a hiking group, a meditation group and am looking for other things as well. The only way I can see to get over it is to meet new people and hope there is someone out there who will reciprocate my feelings. Not that I am ending our friendship or anything, she is my best friend, just adding more social interactions into my life. I'm looking for someone to date, just looking for more friends. And maybe something will come of that eventually. Honestly I can't even fathom being with anyone else, so my goal is to make new friends and maybe something will come from that.
