This is a work in progress. I feel like it's missing something, but I'm not sure what. It seems more like a list than a poem I guess, so suggestions are wanted. Please and thank you. I'll be your distraction when things get hard. I'll be your direction when you feel lost. I'll be your motivation when you need a reason to keep going. I'll be your wall when you have no one to lean on. I'll be your light when the world seems dark. I'll be your pride, I'll be your joy. I'll be your freak, I'll be your toy. I'll be your maid, I'll be your chef. And I'll still be here when you feel like you have nothing left. I'll be anything you want, baby. Anytime, anywhere. I'm all yours, head to toe. I'll even give you my heart and soul. Ride or die, I'm here to stay. <3
("...reads well..." went the goblin who was loathed to comment on something as subjective as poetry, and yet feeling that the change in line length, the adding of a and in the middle, the not building up enough to the conclusion, etc., could all be addressed here, adding "...btw how about a matching picture, and a title and a tally benchmark of a poem a week then...")
I know I need to add to it, I just can't think of anything right now. I can't think of a titile, either. I'm not much of a poetry person though, this is my first attempt. Lol.
Just to balance it out, you might say something about the other side of the equation. Like the negative side of relationships. I'll be the pain you cannot heal.
I fixed it up a bit. I hope you don't mind storch, but nI used that line you suggested, too. Lol. Finally named it, too. Suggestions are still wanted, I'm always looking to improve. Other Half I'll be your distraction when things get hard. Your direction when you feel lost. Your motivation when you need a reason to keep going. Your wall when you have no one to lean on. Your light when the world seems dark. I'll listen when you can't hear. I'll watch when you can't see. I'll be the pain you can't heal. I'll shed the tears you can't. I'll be your pride, your joy. Your freak, your toy. Your maid, your chef. And I'll still be here when you feel you have nothing left. I'll be anything you want. Anytime, anywhere. I'm all yours, head to toe; even give you my heart and soul. When all else fails, I never will. Ride or die, baby. I'm here to stay. <3
help with song lyrics i would do, but to me poetry is what the writer is feeling at that time and writes. and i dont think it should ever be changed....maybe remixed but i think the original should always stand on its own.
I like it, it shows your personal love for another and your dedication, which gives it meaning on both an observers level (relating to that feeling) and on a personal level (your own feelings/meanings). Yeah, I dig poems like this
