Continuing topics or discussion

I'm going to give you what I hope is some helpful advice with regard to men.

Learn to be happy with yourself as you are. Learn to be alone and they will flock to you like pigeons to the crumbs and next thing you know you'll have more men wanting your attention than you will even know what to do with. Once that happens, you may decide that this guy is just an asshole that you don't need.

Be.

 

Good advice in general yet not really applicable for me or in this situation.

 

Sounds obsessive to me. People can't always come to a meeting of the minds. Men are differant than women when it comes to talking situations out. Women (some/most??) want to talk things to death--men want to talk about it,get it done and move on. Generality,I know. Just my observation. Going on and on about a situation can drive someone away.

 

Yes, I have been prone to obsessing. I don't ever feel fully understood, and I'm frustrated by that.

 

A more extensive vocabulary enables one to express thoughts more clearly and completely,contributing to understanding. My grand daughters mom gets so frustrated when she's trying to explain how she feels about something--she just doesn't have the right words to do so. Could that be a problem? Don't be offended ,please---just wondering.

 

Not offended at all. I appreciate the interest. My vocabulary is good but my mind goes in too many directions rather then focus on the matter. Partly that is my nature....knowing that it's not so simple.

 

OK. Sounds like you over-think things. Probably all of us do that concerning certain situations. I'm certainly not qualified to diagnose ---

Oops--have to go------

 

ADD? Have you ever seen that commercial for the California happy cows where the cows are racing and then they all get distracted by dandelions? Sometimes I feel like that. I know I piss a lot of people off because I go off in strange directions and it takes a while to show them how I got there, if that makes any sense at all.

Those kinds of interruptions happen all the time. I'm rarely ever able to finish a conversation with my mom, for example. If it's really important I'll email her or harass her until I know what's up. But as another example that might be applicable to this conversation, I could be messagine an old friend from high school who keeps promising we'll catch up and we get a phone call or three in that get interrupted, and I really want to finish the conversation and feel as though I'm really caught up, but it never happens. I have one right now who keeps doing that to me. I'm like, "Yo, Girl... don't blow sunshine up my ass, ok? Have you found Jesus or something?" I seem to have a LOT of old high school friends who've become born again. They were all the girls who partied really, really hard and hearty.

Anyway, sometimes when stuff like that happens I think that maybe I've pissed them off by something I've said and that's why the conversation isn't going to be finished. I try not to let it bother me because it just is, you know what I mean? Otherwise I'll keep wondering (obsessing?) if I've pissed them off or offended somehow.

Unless you're talking about a teenager. I don't know if you have kids or what but with my boys when they were teens I was always in their business and would not drop things. That was part of my job as their mother, to know their business. I don't think we're talking about teens here though, are we?

 

Yes, it is similar to your friends that say they will catch up and never do. It is a pet peave of mine. Generally I'm easy going but I do take certain elements of relationships very seriously. The main point of this whole thread is that I push for an understanding about topics to a point that is satisfying for myself. You can refer to one of my early posts for examples. People are pointing at me as though it is a personality flaw. That's what I'm trying to get a handle on.

No, I do have teens, but this is not about my teens. My marriage is in shambles right now. He is one person that I've not cared if I obsess about topics. His own flaw is that he blows everything off as trivial.

 

Alright, I think I understand where you're coming from. It's almost like you're into this great magazine article at the dentist's office and you discover that some fucking ASSHOLE has ripped out the last two pages! That pisses me off so I refuse to read magazines in dentist offices anymore.

There are times when I wonder if anyone can out-weird me, but then I find places like this forum and am satisfied there are.

 

Yeah if this is what your husband is doing this is more than just a simple miscommunication problem in my opinion.

It's a lack of willing to endure things that are tough but necessary for the relationship to work and go back to being a happy one.

 

^This is great advice for men too, men can get clingy as well. And in some case I think girls tend to go towards these men who are really good at being independent, but disciplined.