So many questions...

I'm 17 years old and i know I am transexual. As soon as possible i want to start HRT and then later do some surgeries and of course the SRS, so i can get my outside matching my inside.

But... i'm afraid of several things. I live in portugal, and we only have one surgeon that can do SRS surgeries (on public hospitals, not private) on the entire country. And the transition is very expensive. I don't know exactly how much but it's a lot. There's also almost none LGBT organizations (at least that i found out).

I'm afraid i won't be able to pay for it, i'm afraid i won't be aproved for HRT or SRS. It's just... so complicated... My main is being overwhelmed these past few days and even though there's still a few years left before i can even do anything i just... i don't even know, this is all so complicated to me... I'm not depressed or anything, mainly because most of my closest friends know about the real me, they do what they can to help me and i can talk freely to them. But now i need answers from an actual (preferebly post-op) transexual...

Every bit of info is welcome, thank you girls : )

Also, if you wouldn't mind to give me your email so we could talk i would really apreciate that. Instant Messaging is much more convenient than forums : )

Once again, thanks for all the help you might give me girls : )

 

I'm pre-op - and I'll say one thing. Don't rush into te full surgery. Not everyone finds it necessary - you can live as a girl anyway, I do.

I know you have probably already decided to have full surgery, but I just thought I'd add a comment.

 

Some transwomen feel the need to undergo full surgery, whilst others do not. Although I do personally believe that transgenders who identify as women but are comfortable with their male organs are not really suffering from the same condition as those who identify as female and who have always felt an acute sense of discomfort, incongruousness, and disgust over their male physical attributes. For people in the latter category, surgery is necessary for them to feel some sense of belonging and congrousness in their own skin.

 

I can't really agree that there is a difference between pre-op and post-op transsexuals. It's just a matter of when or where one finds the money to get srs done. It is costly and can take a long time to save the money. Whether or not a person has a vagina doesn't define them. When they pass for female, assuming they're mtf, then they are female.

Erin

 

You completely misread what I meant. I never said there was a difference between pre-op and post-op transsexuals. I said there was a difference between those who claim to be "women" who are quite content, comfortable, and even happy to retain their male organs, and those who have always felt a deep sense of discomfort, incongurousness and loathing for their male physical attributes. Seeing as plenty of pre-ops fall into the latter category, I was not saying there was a difference between pre-ops and post ops. I said there is almost certainly a difference, at least medically, between those who have always felt an acute sense of incongruousness with their physical born sex, and those who have not/do not feel that, and who feel no discomfort with their male anatomy. Whilst outwordly projecting a female appearance.

Surgery does not and cannot make someone female (and the same goes for taking medication to alter your body). Those who genuinely have the medical condition of gender dysphoria, and who feel they need surgery to give them some sense of belonging in their own bodies are women before they have surgery. And if there is some reason, medical or cost wise that prevent them from having surgery, they are still women regardless. But those who are actually content and comfortable with their male attributes and sexual organs are not women.

 

This is so judgmental. Being diagnosed with gender dysphoria isn't only about wishes to divest oneself of the sexual organs they were born with. It's about persons who are not satisfied that their anatomy matches their feelings. It is normally diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

I am not a psychiatrist. Therefore I can't say who is gender dysphoric or not. If you tell me that you are gender dysphoric then you are. If you tell me that you are a transsexual then you are. If you tell me that you are a female, I don't have the authority to ask, or even wonder what's in your pants. I don't have the right to ask you if your breasts are real. That would be considered sexual harassment where I live.

I have had surgery. In some of the support groups that I belong to there are others who have had surgery and they think that because they have "completed" their journey they are better, more educated than those that haven't. I really take exception to that point of view. For several years, I presented as a female but had no intention of having surgery. This was because I valued my marriage more than "complete" transition. I presented 24/7 as a female. I considered myself during those years to be a non-op transsexual. I passed as a female. I believed then, as well as now, that those that feel a need to re-categorize medically diagnosed conditions have a misguided sense of self esteem.

 

@Springfling: Once again you have completely misinterpreted me, and taken everything I've said out of context. I seriously doubt a diagnosis of gender dysphoria would be made about someone who has no discomfort with, and is actually happy with, their born genitalia and having secondary physical characteristics of their born sex. Perhaps I am wrong about that, but I seriously doubt it. But IF those people are medically classed as the same as people who have always felt a deep discomfort and incongrousness with the physical aspects of their born sex (which I highly doubt is the case), then it SHOULD be re-categorised.

As for self-esteem, well I'd imagine any female who had to live in a body with male sex characteristics would have low self-esteem. Hell, lots of women with completely normal bodies have self-esteem issues. It'd be far more abnormal and unusual for a female to not be distressed at having to live with male sex characteristics, than to be distressed by that. Having self-esteem issues in that situation is actually completely natural.

 

Okay, in re-evaluating what you are saying I d have to agree that there are far too many guys out there who claim to be transsexuals but don't realize that they can't be in transition if they are happy with their male genitalia. I have interviewed people in this category. Some people believe that they want to be female but still satisfy their current female partners in a male fashion. They do not seem to be able to grasp the fact that if they are using hormones their male genitalia does not stay intact or functional. They can't have their cake and eat it too.

Sorry about misinterpreting your posts. You make valid points.

Erin

 

Yep, it seems that we are totally on the same page. Everything you are saying there, I completely agree with.

 

I'm sorry but you're both wrong. Not every woman can get the surgery and a lot of them don't care for it, I want to keep my genitals how they are but still get rid of all the other male parts I have because I'm afraid of surgery and it's honestly not that important to some people. Please don't push your uneducated opinions about us onto people, it's disgusting. Not everyone cares about dicks as much as you two seem to think.

 

I clearly stated that there is a difference between those who through no fault of their own can't get the surgery, and those who are quite happy to keep their male genitalia, and have no real aversion to them, or using them in sexual activity.

But it's perfectly okay for you to push your uneducated opinions onto people? A lot of transwomen who have been in perpetual torment due to being forced to live with the wrong genitalia would be affronted at those who don't see their male genitalia as a big deal, claiming to suffer from the same thing as them. They would likely find your opinion just as uneducated and disgusting as what you are claiming ours to be. Saying I "care about dicks" is simply ignorant, as I do not think genitalia on it's own defines gender. You're twisting my opinion, and the context of my words to suit your own arguement. You are free to disagree with me, but don't put words in my mouth.

 

Actually, Redrabbits, your post really doesn't make a lot of sense. You don't say much about yourself other than that you want to keep your male genitalia intact. You don't sound like transgender or transsexual to me. You're just a shit disturber. You are entitled to your opinion just as I am to mine. My opinions are about myself and you know nothing about that, other than what I tell you.

I don't care what you do with your dick but what I do care about are the needs of those that are out there asking for help. The majority of these people are interested in transitioning or questioning their feelings in regards to transitioning to another gender and asking for help from others who are further along in the process. That's what this thread is about and your post serves no useful purpose. So instead of merely bad-mouthing those that are trying to offer help maybe you look to positive comments.

 

Wow! Very spirited dialogue here. Was wondering how having male genitalia and doing feamle things works out. Seems to me there would be a legal issue here. When you use a public bathroom isn't there a chance of being "found out"? That's one of the things that scares me the most. While I have been out in public as my feminine self, it is ALWAYS a concern for me. Can I go into a women's dressing room to try on clothing or am I supposed to use the men's dressing room? Genitalia is pretty superflouous in the scheme of things as far as what one feels they are, but in the reality of things it can be VERY much an issue. Redrabbits seems more androgenous to me but that is just an opinion and has no real value here.

 

Firstly, I'm a bi guy. My favorite part of going out in public in female clothing is the chance of being found out. In fact, I look completely male but will just toss on a dress and walk around a store. I just recently got a wig/purse and have yet to wear those out in public.

I have not met a single person that said anything rude or anything negative to me (something I wish would happen more, actually, I mean not truly, but at the same time.... It's hard to explain lol) when they saw me, obvious a guy, walking around in a very girly dress. I am definitely going to go into a girls bathroom wearing my wig and stuff. If someone says something to me, off hand, I'll enjoy it. If they get angry, I'll appoligize and walk out. I can't imagine anything actually bad happening.

 

The biggest issue in crossdressing is that if you appear to be in the wrong bathroom, you will upset somebody. However in a women's washroom the business end of things happens in a cubicle. You're not likely to be found out in one of those.

The other thing about crossdressing in public is your voice. It can make the difference in how close someone looks at you. But that also depends on one's age. As for dressing rooms, the same situations apply. But chances you will be clocked if you take your ladies' wear to the men's change room.

What it boils down to is that if you're trying to look female do as the females do and when you're trying to look male do as the other males do.

As for Redrabbits, he is one of those who come on to a site as a guest and tries to stir things up just to be a jerk. If he was real, we'd have to say he's a man with a fetish. There's nothing in his post that even faintly is connected to transitioning or transgender.

Erin