A LEGIT problem (serious input only plz)

Soo...
3 years ago after having a few run ins with the law, needing quick money, I began exotic dancing. I am naturally very laid back and genuine and have always been a *clean* girl. However, it is a difficult profession to transition out of. Money isn't always good, and its getting harder to do it sober because I am sick of acting like a barbie version of myself.

However, I am so against the system I can no longer fuction as a robot....there or working for corporate lost souls. I had a well paying job at Macys as a brand specialist for a trendy, inhouse brand, Bar III. I had ideas of how to maybe tweak things and try a creative approach, which did not go over well. FUCK MACYS. Jerks

Some days I want to live by the river, in a small shack and forget about the common worries we all have.

Some days, I want to conquer the world and travel and learn everything I can about everything, or help people.....

Too much cool things to focus on one.

I don't want to get caught up for so long I know nothing else. There is alot more out there for me other than dry humping till my azz falls off.

WTFFFFFF

College is an option but Im still on my parents financial aid and they are ballin (I dont want there help tho) so it will be very expensive.

Money isnt everything, and I dont want to get so attached to the security of it that I lose my spirit.

How do you find a direction? I thought NOT having one was natural, but Im sad......

Lots of interests, the passion for life is the biggest one I have

&
please be respectful. I am a normal person like you.

 

The problem is you're still young and it's going to be hard to find something you'll want to do all your life. Like you say, one day you want this, the next that, I wouldnt really rush into anything just yet. Maybe travel a bit, get a different perspective on a different way of life.
Traveling really solves everything. You do what you want and answer to nobody and way too many people grow old wishing they'd of gone to places.
You may find something completely different about yourself while your traveling and decide to persue that instead of anything you'd imagined previously.

 

I am 31 and still don't really know where I am going in life. I just want to be able to experience and enjoy things that are real and matter. I don't really have much advice to offer, other than to continue to be who you are and hope for the best. Life isn't easy, and it only gets more difficult as you get older. I feel for you, though, and wish you the best.

 

I suppose you should decide how important the money is first. Most regular jobs are not going to match the pay you are used to.

What do you have a passion for?

Do you love animals? You could work at an animal shelter.

Are you into natural foods? Find a natural foods bakery or store to work for.

Do you love to dance? Maybe you could work at a dance studio.

You are young and maybe the first choice does not work out but it could lead to another connection or direction.

Only you can decide what path to take.

 

Maybe once you get out of the job you hate, things will look different.

No, money isn't everything.....until you don't have enough. The cabin by the river is a romantic idea, but not very realistic.

You'll be ok. Just keep searching until you find what you like to do. If you don't have any skills, go back to school and get some. If your parents can help you, you know you could pay them back, right? Everybody needs help sometimes, how can you expect to help people if you think accepting help is beneath you?

 

become a police officer..

 

Another thing you could try, if you could swing it financially, is to volunteer for a while at the sort of job you think you would like. You could try different things that way, and if something is a good fit, you may either be offered a job or at least make a networking contact.

 

Pull up stakes and just go. Go somewhere where you don't know a single person. It's the only way to truly break out of this kind of rut. Yes, it's much easier said than done, but nothing worth while is easy.

 

Many people flop around for years before finding what fits, if you don't get a plan early in life. I know I did. I had job after job in differant industries until I found the kind of job that I enjoyed. Try differant trades/jobs and eventually the money will be right as well as the job. I was 28 before I found my niche.

 

I'm bumping this because I want to give it some thought and answer later.

 

You may never find something you are passionate about.

My suggestion is to start writing...pick up a journal and pen and write about everything you can think of. Let the words create your answers.

The most troubling times in my life have been solved/healed by writing about them.

 

Why stop dancing I would keep dancing save up ma money and when I couldn't dance anymore open my own club

 

I wonder if your situation is like a friend of mine. She says the bosses at all the clubs are like dictators and very disrespectful. She took a break for quite awhile and felt so much better but she told me it's the only thing she's good at. Which is obviously 100% lies, but she really feels that way. She's in her early 30's, she knows she's not going to be able to do it forever, but she's afraid to take a chance on something new. She actually asked me to do it...as a clean person, I think it would be very difficult and troubling to always be surrounded by people who hardly have an idea of what sober is...not to judge them, but just to feel their pain...this is how my friend described it to me...she is one of the only ladies at her club who is not an addict.

If I were you and you know it's a life-sucking situation for you...I would definitely take a chance and free yourself up to find out what you really want for now...what you can do that encourages and rewards your creativity...it may very well be that you can work for yourself and make a comparable or better income in time. You might also find something you don't mind that doesn't come home with you...meaning you can be passionate about your non-work life...there are tons of options but you just take one at a time to see how it fits you.

Security exists in your mind. If you arm yourself with knowledge, inspiration and dedication you're going to find what works for you. You're in a position where it's not as big a risk for you to go out there and take that journey. You're young, you have no kids, you probably have money saved up, you have a stable work ethic and just in case, you have your parents.

 

so basically this is a "legit" problem that is worthy of only serious answers because it involves you. other than that, i don't really see anything too far from what everyone goes through.

if you're really 23, i think you get off your parents' financial aid next year, so college could be not too far off if that's what you want to do. otherwise, you basically just need to try different things and see what fits.

 

Not that you would tell many people, but when you do, as soon as you say 'exotic dancer' how many quickly judge you

And yet, handing over your very soul to be a corporate slave, having spew the fake rhetoric about a company you know is mediocre, having to put up with a boss/bosses all the time that you know are morons or are just on some little power trip or having to put up with clients/customers indulging in self importance.....is a worse form of prostitution, you are selling your soul and body, not just your body


Its all bullshit.

Student fees, not going to college cos of the cost. The situation in America is a little more fucked than the rest of the west. So its just really the luck of the draw, born somehwere else maybe that little more likley you could afford to go. Although economy in Europe at the moment is stuffed, so if you were in Spain or Greece you might struggle even finding work as an Exotic dancer...now, whereas 10 years ago it would have been easier, and maybe 10 years from now it will be a lot easier. So not just where you were born, but when

And then fantasy vs reality. Kids dreaming of growing up to be Firemen, Ballerinas, Veternarians cos baby animals are cute. Where as Firemen means more likely to end up amped up on pain killers for 2/3 of your life after a bad fall or dieing of cancer 30 years too early after breathing in noxious gases. Ballerina means decades of hard work and giving up everything else only only for a career that ends before 30. An Veternarians means a massive student debt only to end up spending most of your time putting those cute puppies to sleep cos no one wants them

Then theres the good ole " Oh you are too young to know" chestnut, like older people have any clue what they really want to do. Which really just translates to, I've given up, but at least I can still get off pretending to others I have a clue


Its all bullshit, a lot of it is just dumb luck in the end, and even if you get what you want you'll get bored of it and want more or something else, and still find something to complain about

The good thing about getting older is that once you get over what a self absorbed little shit you (we all) are. Then its back to the little things being more important like back to when you were a kid. Its still going to be about a great movie you are looking forward to, a concert with some artist you think is great, getting tanked with a few friends on a Saturday afternoon and having a nap too early

No one has advice for you, give it another decade and a few more love handles and you'll miss the day a whole bunch of whipped married guys looked at you like it was Christmas morning and they were about to open their presents

 

Become a construction worker. The jobs are hard to land these days but something tells me that you would not have a problem getting hired.

 

Be yourself and do what feels right in your heart. Don't be afraid to take a few chances and make some risky moves. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. At the end of the day all you need to focus on it making sure you are happy with who you are. I hope it all works out for you!