hey everyone. my bf and i have been dating for 5 months now. im 19 and he's 21. we started dating in march and prior to our relationship, he was in a long-d relationship with this girl who dumped him (for the 2nd time) in oct or nov. they were together for about 3-4 months. she lives in a city 6 hrs away, and he used to live there. they first dated when he was 16 for about a year, then she broke up with him with the excuse of wanting to take a break. according to him, she moves on from guy to guy. anyways she was basically his "main" ex, hed been in other relationships but they didnt last as long nor were they as serious i suppose. i feel like him and i are heading towards a more serious direction but sometimes i just dont know if he is completely over her or not. sometimes he'll bring her up if something reminds him of her and is it wrong that it bothers me? my ex this my ex that... should i tell him that i dont really want to hear about her? sometimes i feel like hes comparing our relationship to what he had with her. they still have each other on fb, and i dont know if they still talk... however the other day i saw that she called him on his phone but he didnt pick up. he told me that hes glad that she dumped him because otherwise he wouldnt have met me but there are times where i feel like he's still hurt or whatever by his ex... i dont know how im supposed to react or handle the situation if that's the case.
You've only been together for 5 months. He has a history with her that spans a couple years. It's not uncommon for people to compare their relationships. In fact, right now, you are comparing his relationship with her to your relationship with him. It's arguable whether it's fair to ask him not to talk to her; but it's definitely not a good idea. You haven't given any details that would alarm me; but it's understandable that you are a little uncomfortable. But you shouldn't make an issue out of nothing. If you are feeling really uneasy, you should talk to him about it.
its the fact that they have history that makes me feel like i cant "compete" with that. i get that it hasnt been too long since she dumped him but am i suppose to sympathize with that ...? i like what we have but i dont want him to look at me for the things im not in comparison to her..
The longer you are together, the more history you will have. If things go right, if you are a good match for each other, eventually your history together will trump their history together. You will have spent much more time together, you will have gone through so much more together; and his past will her will be less significant. If you can't get over the fact that he's been with other people; you won't get that chance.
Well if it bothers you so much then leave if u still want to stay then you need to learn to live with his feelings
