I am awake. I look at the insanely bright numbers displayed on my phone. Two o' clock in the fucking morning. I turn over and close my eyes again. Drifting restlessly through the dream and the reality. Three, Four the hours tick by with me waking fully at the turn of each. Five thirty comes fast and I curse the very gravity that keeps me glued to this godforsaken planet. Coffee. Cigarette. The sun begins to shine, the birds sing and everything is goddamn beautiful. Fucking work. Whatever. Another day another dollar. The morning's charm fades and with the heat the intensity begins to build. A small pressure in the center of my chest. A slight tightening of the jaw. I am alive. I feel the blood in my veins. Feel the power of my being. Carnal instincts and heightened senses. The pressure builds as time flows, slowly turning to pain. I yearn to sprint into the nearest copse and run, tear my clothes mid stride and run. Feel the forest rip at my skin, the animals cower at my superiority. Instead I blink, breathe and crack a smile that does little to hide the snarl beneath. The day wanes as quickly as the one before and I head home. The ride back is a fucking roller coaster. The goddamn pain. Elation of life and despair of existence and my chest tightening, my heart throbbing. And still the goddamn, motherfucking pain. I've felt this way before. I know it, its so familiar yet distant like a scent on a passing breeze. I pace my apartment, an animal caged. Every muscle contracted, pupils dilated and hair bristling. I am alive. I live and I scream. The goddamn pain, the fucking pressure. So intense, unbearable. I ache. I long to dig my fingers into my chest and rip my fucking rib cages wide the fuck open, releasing, relieving the pressure in what must be a wave of devastating energy. Somehow the walls are getting closer. Fearing my imminent spontaneous combustion I rush into the open air. I've felt this way before. Looking up I realize...the goddamn Full Moon.
