I have no idea where to post, think that there may be some like minded people in this section so... About 2 months ago I experienced what people would call enlightenment, what I would call the truth or the realisation of being. I've had a fucking crazy time after that, it was non drug related but at the moment it happened i felt like i was on everything. I completely changed, my vocabulary, my personality, how I think, just everything changed, I saw that I wasn't actually a single person, infact i was everything, that everyone is, just a part of this greater 'being'. So I've taken steps to becoming a kinder human being and have tried to help people understand, but im stuck. I know why, but i cant get past it however much I try. I need to forgive people and feel forgiven myself. I can not forgive just a few things, 3 people inparticular, what they did to me would be classed as unforgivable I suppose. I want to forgive them, i want to move on from the past so I can help the future and be at peace. I'm desperate. How can I forgive something that screwed my life up?
I feel like I do. I feel hate towards them, yet love towards every other being. In order for me to persue this enlightment then I need to love them too. First step = forgiveness, second step = moving on. I can move on right now without forgiveness but I'd always be carrying the hate
Why do you feel that you need to forgive now? Maybe you just need time to sort things out. Sometimes hate is appropriate.
I want to. It was part of what i saw, forgive the past and forgive the mistakes man kind has made to the world and to yourself.
Easier said than done, makes sense though. They acted on hate towards me and I reacted with hate, makes me just the same I suppose. I'll try that
It would be the hate you felt then and still feel now that's hindering your advancement... Their hate is not something you have any control over.
This all makes sense and confuses me at the same time. I understand that its the hate I've carried with me for so long holding me back, but how do I move on from such a life altering incident. Surely if I'm to forgive myself for feeling the pain then I should forgive those for dealing it? It's not so much the people who did it, its the act itself that makes me hate. Can you forgive an action? Sorry, I'm a mess right now
It is better for a leader to make a mistake in forgiving than to make a mistake in punishing."--Mohammad, Al-Tirmidhi
I'm sure that it is very hard, none of this is easy. What I'm trying to say is basically the same thing as "turn the other cheek" but with a slight twist. A simple situation would be like this... Somebody hits you in the face, it hurts. Instead of immediately hitting them back as most people would want to do creating an equal hurt, or scream and cry to make them feel bad for what they did (trying to create a different kind of pain for them) you just walk away. You don't ask to get hit again, and you don't give them the opportunity to hit you again either. In essence you don't forgive them, and you can't forgive an action you nullify the "re-action" most people would have to this situation. This reaction is the only part of the situation we actually have any control over.
My situation was one that I know I can't forget. It was 5 years ago, I never gave back any equal hurt, I walked away. Instead it left me in fear, pain, hate. I hated the world, which I've recently overcome. I still hate the action, which I'm trying to overcome. my reaction was completely personal, no one has been a part of it other than myself, although I've felt a certain way against people I haven't portrayed that feeling. I never thought of it this way, this is something I need to tackle with myself rather than everybody else. Then I can move on and truly remember why I'm here, past all the barriers and distractions.
it is very hard to forgive certain things, but hate will destroy you and destroy your soul, there is enough hate in the world already. If you can't forgive the actions of these people, just take it on the chin and let it go. As long as you lean a lesson for the future and don't let it happen again, after all, if you keep doing what you do, you will get what you have always gotten. Think of it as a positive thing, a big lesson in life that will maybe prevent an even worse thing in the future.
As much as i admire and respect the fact that u want to deal with forgiveness on your own, I think the best way to forgive someone for doing something wrong to u is to have them admit that what they did was wrong, and if they don't, to have other people confront them so that the person is forced to feel guilt/shame. That may sound unkind (wanting others to feel guilt), but it definitely can trigger something off in your mind, so that u feel free to live again. I don't know what u have been through, but there's a reason victims of abuse are encouraged to take legal actions, and it's not just because people must be punished for their crimes, it's also because it's a good therapy for the victims. More often than not they feel better after seeing their abusers taken to court and having to answer for their actions.
Forgiveness may not be just a mental process, and not just emotional either ... perhaps try and meditate on your feelings by going as deep as you can, in order to find the connecting threads, and solve the situation inside yourself ... tune into your own Higher Self without any other purpose (like, wanting to move on). I believe we are here to learn .... then it's like whenever we think we got it, most likely we'll get a kick back ... so just take it as a worthy lesson.
Maybe you're setting unreasonable goals for yourself. Maybe you can't forgive right now because you have unresolved issues related to the offense committed against you. Try talking with a trusted friend about the offense. Listen for feedback. Give yourself time to sort it all out. It might take years to be ready to forgive. And imo, it's ok if you can't.
You might want to define what "forgive" means to you. What feeling will you get from it? How will your thinking change? Will day-to-day life change? I'm not sure I experienced situations as bad as yours, but I was quite damaged. I was manipulated with rejection if I didn't do as my root family wished. It was shamed based and created such hurt and anger. I see that same family quite often. I've never forgave them, but my mind knows I had to figure out a way not to let my anger affect how I behave around them. Eventually what I did was mature enough to realize they were AT FAULT for their treatment of me. It was THEIR flaw, THEIR wrongdoing, THEIR mistake and I let them OWN it even if they don't have remorse or admit it. And as is in all of the world, there are people that do bad things....it just happens I know some of them in my own family. I didn't pick them, but I gotta learn to live with it.
