Sometimes I'm fine with being bisexual, I mean, I don't know how to feel any other way. And I've been able to find friends that accept me this way, and partners even. But every now and then, many times a year, the last few days especially, I'm just so frustrated with being bisexual. I feel like everything would be easier if I could just be straight, or just be gay. I love monogamy, and no matter what sex I'm with, I always feel this weird emptiness that it never feels like my partner can provide, no matter what gender they are. I don't know what to do, if there's anything I can do but just accept this. But its so hard to accept this about myself. Anyone else facing this same issue?
I sometimes do, however I have learned to accept myself as I am. change what you can and accept what you cannot.
i felt that way for a long time, not complete, not fully satisfied. later on i realized it was not about my partner but about me: i relate my values and view of life to my sexuality as i consider men and women equals and feel attracted to them both, but this sexist society we live among takes its toll on romantic relationship roles and i discover i felt "not full" because i haven´t found a partner that haven´t adopted one role or the other.With men I miss the "friend" connection i experience with a woman: going out to by clothes, sharing friends, talking about "friend´s problems" and so on. with a man i feel that i´m supposed to be the sensitive and selfless part of the team no matter the circumstances. On the other hand, all my female partners have somehow somewhen along the time adopted one role or the other without telling me anything about it; i mean after a shorter or longer period of time i´m supposed to be the woman in the relationship or the man!! I´M NEITHER!!! On the other hand i´ve always felt that our process of coming out is completely the opposite of what "coming out" should be: i felt discriminated and the need to hide my sexuality once i was out of the closet as bisexual. none my heterosexual nor homosexual friends care about my "other life", heterosexual friends support me when having troubles with my boyfriend at the moment but consider girlfriends argument as important as an argument between girls (women fight and criticize each other all the time) Homosexual friends ignore that other me on purpose, it feels like i´m not part of them anymore if i have a boyfriend, like i´m sitting on both sides of the fence and would choose the socially accepted sexuality once things get nasty. All of those feelings i´ve referred to above have cause a void in my heart and mind, made bigger by every single time one of those stereotypes and prejudges were shown in my partner´s actions or words. I feel a void because i feel i´m not like anyone else; that i´m not fully accepted nor supported. That I´m completely isolated
I had some frustration about my bisexuality in the early days of my relationship with my partner. I felt like I was somehow being unfaithful to her by being attracted to men. I even tried to convince her and myself that I was a lesbian. She told me to cut the bullshit and just be myself and that she didn't have a problem with me looking at guys. For me, it wasn't a feeling of missing out on something, but more of a sort of guilt about my sexuality and the awkardness of not being honest to myself and my partner about my feelings. It would be simpler just to be straight or gay rather than bisexual, but bisexuality is the hand that we're dealt, and we just have to play it. You can't change it, so you just have to live with it.
I get frustrated too. I decided to give polyamory a try. It makes me feel free and happy. I found that as much as I liked monogamy, it had me restricted, and that got me down. I felt the emptiness despite having partners that were really nice, suited to me and loved me.
I seem to be moving in the direction of polyamory more and more. The more I think about it the more I find I cannot be in a monogamous relationship. Like you say it's restricting. It's as if monogamy and the ties that come with a conventional relationship are like a lock and chain and a weight on my life. If only I had found this out earlier and not now I'm 40... Also it makes the whole bisexual thing easier...
