My mom was abused physically , mentally & emotionally from my earth dad. She used to be so sweet & whatnot , then once my earth dad became more & more abusive , she lost that and became bitter. My parents were divorced when I was 7. And then went into a custody battle around my 8th birthday & It lasted until I was 9. My mom & dad played tug-of-war with me and THEY BOTH manipulated me into staying with them , I was confused at age 9 on what to do & where to live. The judge asked me at 9 , where & who I wanted to stay with & I said my dad. And I exactly know why I said that, during custody time I was living with my mom and she always used to take her anger out on me & be like : "You're just like you're daddy , you're no good.. etc" And so I decided I'm not gonna stay with her & be her stress dummy. So I moved in with my dad 9 yrs old . I still visited my mom every other weekend. BUT EVERY TIME I CAME OVER SHE FOUND A REASON TO BE-LITTLE ME & SAY I WAS NO GOOD.. She told family members on her side of the family , that I was no good & I'm a demon & blah blah .. & my OWN family members didn't like me and barely talked to me.. So I slowly stopped visiting her.. then at 13 yrs old my dad became abusive towards me & I HAD TO STAY with my mom. I told my mom what happened & she told me " It's your fault for staying with him" And I hated that I told her that.. Every day I regret telling her everything. 'Cause since 13 to NOW , she's been throwing that in my face.. She literally hates me. She wants me to suffer. And it's because I wanted to stay with my dad when I was little. She has fought me , but I didnt fight back , I just tryed to push off me. And called the cops on me twice because I packed my bags & was gonna run away two times. She has said , I was a "hoe" , manipulative , a demon , Just LIKE my dad , that I'm never going to be nothing , ignorant & stupid , & she even tryed to send me back to my Dad's house to torture me , even though she knows he did something to me.. and sooo much more.. I still live with her but im planning to get a job this summer & save up & emancipate myself when im 17 and saved up . ( im 16 now) I have no where else to go so I have to soak-in so much negativity from her . I've been suicidal since 13 & attempted over 4 times but never took it to that top-level.. And when she's had a bad day at work or whatever , I'm her punching bag .. not literally , but she comes home & says rude stuff to me . WHY IS THAT SHE'S LIKE THIS ? TO ME ? she's supposed to be my mother.. I don't even claim as one anymore , I call her my Earth Mother. 'Cause I'm sure on another planet I have another mother who actually , loves me..
My guess is they love you but are too immature to be great parents. They will grow. For now, realize it is their failing, not yours. Realize all that anger is toward the other parent. Call a runaway hotline and see what options are in your area. Emanicpations are rare, and with suicidal feelings, unlikely for you. School counselors can direct you to mental health clinics. You say you are planning to get a job this summer. Since it is summer in the northern hemisphere, I'll assume you are in the southern. Start looking at the market now, make some connections to management in likely places to work. Pop in, ask what they look for in an applicant. Otherwise, it is summer, and time for action.
What do you mean call a runaway hotline & see what my options are ? & If i save up money , if/when i get a job .. Couldn't I make a reasonable emancipation , that I can provide & care for myself.. ? & Yeaa.. I've filled out 4 applications & turned them in. & got 1 interview a month ago.. & I didn't get hired.
Not defending your mother by any means.... But if she was abused by your father and stuff who knows what else she has been through. I really doubt she hates you, but if she has been through a past she may not know how to deal with her past issues. She most likely sees your father when she sees you and it inadvertently blames you and stuff. She may be the adult but not know how to handle herself right. You've both been through a lot. Remember that. Editied to say not trying to be mean or bitchy just trying to get you too look at everything.
I'm not looking at you as mean or anything . But why is that you always post things against me on EVERY THREAD I DO ? Or go in the opposite direction to make it seem like Im just a bad person in general or I'm just saying &/ or doing everything wrong.. "I really doubt she hates you, but if she has been through a past she may not know how to deal with her past issues." I understand what you're trying to do , make me see the other side. But it still doesn't make what she does right . And why should I even have to just "settle" or try to even understand what she's been through in her life ... due to the way she treats me ? Like I really don't understand you. You have the same attitude towards every thread that INVOLVES me.. It's kind of weird. But please , just stop throwing me under the bus. and I give you props. You weren't that rude this time.
I understand what you're trying to do , make me see the other side. But it still doesn't make what she does right . You right it doesn't make it right, but might give you some understanding. And why should I even have to just "settle" or try to even understand what she's been through in her life ... due to the way she treats me ? Like I really don't understand you. I'm not saying to settle but she if has been abused and shit and I don't think you get that. If you try and understand some of her past you may realize she treats you the way she does. I'm sure as you get older you will see what I am trying to say to you.
You just gotta rise above it. GoofyGooberz does make some good points; understanding can lead to peace. I'm not saying you should or will forgive your mother - but in time, you may learn not to take it personal (even though, she has been rather cruel in making it personal) Sometimes what parents are best for (unfortunately), is to act as examples of how not to be. Understanding can be your weapon, to help you take the emotion out of it a little; and help you focus on yourself. I know what I'm saying is, well, easier to say than do; I've had some troubles with my mum myself, and I know what your feeling is completely normal. It is unfair. They should be there to protect you and guide you; that is their function, really. But not everyone does what they should do; I would say a good majority of people don't. Use it, let it teach you. And just try to be better.
No.. I understand that it's a possiblity of the fact that I remind her of my dad , but like I said , it doesn't make it right. And again , I do understand.. But shouldn't she also understand that what she does is wrong to me and that she's just repeating the same abuse ?
Not really ... and I understand why she does what she does , but not just exactly how she is.. nvm . I'm not getting nowhere. Thanks or whatever
It is really hard to get an emancipation. Really hard. Runaway hotlines will have options for other places you could live, options for counseling, etc. I see you are having a difficult time landing a job, and man, do I feel for you. My son is in the same place- app after app after app, the occasional interview, and nothing. My hours are almost nothing and it is so tight around here. Keep on keeping on.
It's not just that. Put yourself in her position. You have a beautiful child and a partner to raise her. Presumably, you and your husband were in love when you made that child. In that child, you two have a reason; in your love, you two have hope of living out your purpose. The partner leaves you, or you feel forced to make him leave. The details don't even really matter; what matters is that you are now alone; and what's more, you don't even get to keep the child, you have to share her with the man that failed you. The man that broke your heart and your promise for a future. Then the child ends up choosing that wicked, lying man. When a person is bitter and hate filled; there is always reason to pity them. It doesn't necessarily justify their behavior; but trying to understand can help you with how you react to it.
