ive posted about my boyfriend a couple times around here. my bf and i met at work back in february and he asked me out on the first day. hes turning 21 and im 19. he is my first real boyfriend, the past couple guys id dealt with weren't really in a relationship with me. to be honest the relationship was based off of lust. we didn't have sex right away but initially we were just all over each other. we never really took the time getting to know each other. i mean we knew and shared some common interests but that was about it. there were times where i did feel like what we talked about was vapid and sometimes i couldn't tell if it's just me being socially awkward or if something between us just wasn't clicking. because in general i can be shy but i do try hard to make convos. and it's not like he'd really talk unless i started it. sometimes it still feels that way but we didn't really open up to each other about our past and whatever until we took mdma together. it was a nice experience but it seemed like he wouldnt have talked much about that stuff if he'd been sober. we took ecstacy a couple weeks later with his friend and again we spent all night talking in a hotel about our lives and life in general. the room was for him and i and at one point, he thought i was in the washroom and his friend was asking who even watches the tv when they come to hotels then my bf said "my ex and i did, we'd just watch tv and talk... it was different". i didn't say anything but it just made me feel shitty. i didn't know what he was implying because his ex at the time, was seeing another dude and living with him to, so im thinking the only place they had to chill was in the hotel. if he was implying otherwise... it's not like all i want to do is have sex, and whenever he books rooms for us his intention is just that. on top of that it wasn't his first time bringing up his ex (who lives in another city) so yesterday i told him that he could talk to me about his ex cus i could tell he was hurt by what had happened. he told me he wasn't really hurt as it was the second time she'd dumped him and shes the type who moves from guy to guy. i realize that a relationship built on lust isnt exactly the greatest way to start off if i'm looking for a long term thing but i want to work on it. it feels like we've just started getting to really know each other (it's been almost 4 months) and i feel that we can put sex on hold. sometimes we just chill at his place and stuff but i don't know why we don't talk a lot in general... which is why i start to question if im awkward or what. the silence itself is never awkward, im okay with it but im just thinking if he wants to talk why doesnt he try to ask me questions himself? i dont feel like he's lost interest in the relationship because he does go out of his way to do little things and we text all the time to check up on each other. the weirdest thing is that we hang out with his good friend a lot and i have an easier time talking to his friend, but maybe that's because he is more talkative. it's only ever awkward when i have no idea what they are talking about but that's normal i guess. anyways what do you guys think? should i give it time? also, in regards to his ex, i dont think he actually wants to get back with her (after having been dumped twice) but he might miss what he had with her... there are times where i feel like i'm being compared. after all they first dated when he was 16 and then again just last year. they have history together whereas i just met him a couple months ago. i can understand why he'd miss what they had, but what should i do about it if he does?
