Does Lack Of Sex Mean Something Deeper?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. He's never had a super high libido but the last four months or so it doesn't seem to exist at all. When I ask him about it he says his libido comes and goes however he still masturbates to porn. We hadn't seen each other for two weeks so when I stayed over this weekend I was hoping the time apart would lead to his desire for sex. It didn't and when I went out for a couple hours he masturbated again, it was in the computer history. I have nothing against porn, I watch it too from time to time and I'm always willing to try new things in bed. I feel like nothing I do can turn him on anymore and when I try talking to him he says it has nothing to do with me. It makes me feel like complete crap. I sent him sexy pictures a while back and they didn't work either. He said he's "just not that kind of guy" but he looks at sexy pictures of other women. When I ask him what turns him on he says he's not comfortable talking about it. Probably the logical answer is to move on and find someone who will appreciate me but I care about him. I know he gets depressed from time to time and isn't super healthy though the porn thing makes me think his problem is specific to me and not something physical with him. Anyone have alternative theories to the nature of our ever dying sex life?

 

Probably yes. I doubt his problem is specific to you though. The field of possibilities of sexual disfunction is too broad to come to such a narrow conclusion with the information given.

 

Searching through his webpage history, seriously?

 

Methinks Lack Of Sex Means

Something "Didn't Go Deeper"....

Yes Folks, I Know Where The Door Is...:leaving:



Cheers Glen.

 

Vanilla, I wasn't snooping, I usually use smart search on Google. It wasn't working before I left and when I got back there was porn on it.

 

stairmaster

 

The computer has a history of him masturbating?

 

Well it is true that he could have been looking up "big titted blondes who like to f**k" for other reasons but it seems unlikely.

 

If that was exactly the search then I'd suggest you move on.

That is unless you are a big titted blonde who likes to fuck, in which case you might still have a little hope left.

 

I don’t know old you and your boyfriend are but I’d say it’s not typical for a young man to have low or no libido.

So, maybe masturbation is more his thing?

I’d say, just step back and give him his space. See how he responds. Accept the answer that comes to you

Yeah, that's a pretty strong message.

You seem to understand.

 

Have you ever thought that maybe he likes sex, just not with you?

 

i think its very common for guys to like allot of variety and women tend to look for a different kinda set up......maybe there is a good case for polygamy...i know different cultures set sex up in different formatts.....maybe he would like sex with allot of different woman......before he gets tired and settles down....if a guy ever would.....hay is that male heaven?
as far as porn goes....i do not have much interest in it.....someone once said porn is just sex without not allot more....sounds right.
than again orgasm is like a blast of some kind of drug...maybe he likes the pleasure of orgasm and all the neuro chemical floods that go with it.....love...now love sex is a different set up again.....maybe he has yet to learn that skill.....

 

Have sex with another guy, film it, leave it on your computer.

He will go on, find it and either get disgusted by it and confront you OR he will masturbate to it..

 

do you think he might be gay?

 

i didn't think of that. maybe he is gay

 

was he referring to males?

 

if he was gay she probably would have found gay porn on his computer search history, since apparently she checks it.

either he's got another chick on the side or he's just not into her anymore.
maybe both.

 

One of the big signs that I wasn't into my ex anymore was when I started choosing to masturbate instead of sex, even though she was almost always willing. It got to the point to where we were screwing once a week or less, and I was ok with it. Her and I broke up a while later, and my new girlfriend and I have sex 3-4 times a day.

 

It is possible that he is so used to masturbating to get off, that sex with you isn't too appealing to him. If he is too uncomfortable to talk to you about what he wants sexually, then you have a bigger issue than his libido. Walking away may be your best option, unless he is willing to learn how to communicate and tell you what is going on with him.