I am in a relationship with a guy that is 14 years younger than me. He is smart, funny, charismatic, charming, athletic, intuitive. The thing is, I have been fighting feelings of insecurity since the beginning and we just had an argument because I told him that basically, he doesn't make me feel good about myself ... which ultimately I was trying to say that this is my problem, not his. However, he does tease me, tells me I don't love him, and in the beginning of the relationship, he liked to tease me about other girls because it pressed my buttons. I have a feeling that what I said to him is going to stick with him for awhile (of course, it would, I was callous -- not intending to but regardless). I guess my question is ... alot of you guys write, if you can't see yourself spending the rest of your life together with the person, get out, but is it just my own insecurities that are ruining a good thing .... or does he have a part in helping me with this .... he does at times ... he really does. I feel like I have ruined the relationship irrevocably. Any advice, thoughts, words of wisdom or encouragement?
If he's telling you that you don't love him.. well he too is obviously a little insecure about your feelings. And if he doesn't make you feel good about yourself, why are you with him? Relationships are about communication and mutual care. Feeling good, encouraging and supporting each other.
There are times that he makes me feel wonderful and I feel like we have this soulmate connection. It's hard because this just happened and right now, I can only think of all the good things that he has done and I am thinking that I am just not being grateful and just letting my insecurities get the best of me. I am always thinking that it is my own insecurity that is ruining the relationship. I just wonder if I am insecure, it's probably better than I am not in a relationship but this truly has been the best one of my life. We are going on about three years together. I hate this insecurity/ low self-esteem feeling.
