I have yet another birthday tomorrow. Celebrating another year alive and another one closer to death. I'm going to scrape up the last of my MDMA to really enjoy the day with and may try a taste or three of spice also. I posted this elsewhere in reference to the deep DMT breakthrough experience but thought it was worth sharing here to: Man, it's like we who have taken a deep dive have this secret knowledge. The established religions and cults try to reach for it but so often it is generations removed from an original experience or so diluted as to be meaningless in the long and short run (in my opinion of course). I love that we can just up and smoke/drink from the Grail, the Source, the Infinite, a Bose-Einstein condensate . . . DMT . . . . we still have to live our everyday lives, but DMT . . . .it changes nothing and everything, eh? What do mainstreamers make of our secret smiles, I wonder? Peace & Love
This is where I run into trouble personally. I've never smoked DMT and do not plan to, I'm not sure I could handle such intense ego dissolution. After psychedelic sessions where you find out you are god and there's total bliss and all that jazz, you return to your everyday life and everything is the same as before. It's the same way in Zen. You go on a quest, suffer, become enlightened, and go back to herding animals. I have a hard time figuring out the "use" of these sort of cosmic consciousness experiences, though I am so thankful for my encounter with it when I used psilocybin. It's hard to remember what it "feels" like.
It's kind of like there is no enlightenment, but there is leveling up. It's the same thing as growth. DMT is the catalyst and the lube. I'm happy to have it because life is short and I'm a slow learner. Breakthrough, then integrate, back to the real world, ah but a secret smile/knowledge. As T. McKenna stated, we know it's just 30-60 seconds away. Hyperspace. It's RIGHT there. What happens is I find I'm on a new level. I perceive new more macro cycles both in society and myself. I grow. I become more calm. More accepting. More skeptical. More open minded. I move forward in time, life and age. But oh, what a blessing I have been allowed/been given. So, what to do? Be gentle and respecting in my interactions with other humans who are as frail and profound as I am, every last one of them. Understand that everyone dies and hopefully when my day comes it will be a good one. Be willing to make individual, small scale, personal interventions, sometimes risky ones to health and life, that affect people and/or animals in a positive and rippling manner. Become part of the solution, do not partake of the problem or partake at a minimal level. Level up. Break through. Integrate. See new levels and cycles. Breathe. Observe. Always observe. See the beauty that is all around - the flower in the barbed wire, love people even those you do not like, as they are just like you and how can I hate someone for being themselves, in particular the one in the mirror . . . . Level up. Give up a certain amount of materialism, devote your life to a higher purpose. Understand that it is okay to work for something for the long term, to work on something that may exceed one's lifespan. Be the best person you can. Try to experience every moment fully as it is impermanent and impernanence is the only permanence/truth. Share the wonder. Ah, but I rant. Peace & Love
This is the only rant worth having. Happy birthday spicey ps. "what do they make of our secret smile?" with the way things are going probably worrying that we will devour their face in a bath salt fueled delirium it comes down to turning people on and showing by doing.
Hope you have an enjoyable Birthday Spicey! The precision in complexity of the DMT space has always impressed me. It seems almost polar to the wavyness, melting, oceanic soupy-ness of the LSD and mushrooms trips, Yet I feel it comes from a similar if not the same framework. I have yet to experience another psychedelic as direct as DMT and it's alien dimensions have and continue to challenge my notions of reality.
Beautiful posts Spicey. Would you say using the dmt fastlane makes you want to use the other psychedelics much less? Never done it yet but am happy that there is something to look forward to.
So what to do? That's the question isn't it. We were born to be healed - and live accordingly. And here, Spicey lays out the rules of the road. People have been laying them out for a long time. Countless Buddhas, teaching The Way.
its good to see you with a bright and positive attitude about DMT again spicey, Its been a while but i remember reading your post on the nexus about your dark sad lonely journey which left you depressed for from what i remember weeks, and it surprised me to read because you have always helped me integrate my journeys whether or not you knew you were doing so. Anyways, I'm glad to see your right back to your normal self. Peace and Love :love:
But it kinda gives meaning to your life, wouldnt you agree? In a paradoxical way, it shows that on one side of things, your day-to-day is completely meaningless, BUT, it's just a ride, you know? I've never done DMT, but I've had a really fucked up, scary, unsettling breakthrough on Salvia, and I am grateful for it because to me, it showed me that theres was more than meets the eye. I now feel like yeah, this life here is kinda bland and pointless, but it's not big deal. I take it less seriously and I know that I'm on my way home in a sense :sunny: I would love to try DMT. I can't wait.
"before enlightenment I chopped wood and carried water after enlightenment I chopped wood and carried water." - Zen proverb
"Before I had studied Zen for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and rivers as rivers. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and rivers are not rivers. But now that I have got its very substance I am at rest. For it's just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and rivers once again as rivers." zen proverb
