A little over a year ago my first love, we were together for 8 years, killed himself. I had not talked to him in about 2 years and from what I heard, his life had taken a horrible downward spiral since we lost contact. He had become addicted to oxy and lost everything, including his business and new girlfriend. It was the worst thing in my entire life - I still loved/love him. I am just now being able to admit to myself he committed suicide, it was very hard to accept at first - because the guy I knew would NEVER do something like that. However, the fact is he overdosed on pills, took two bottles full - I can't really be in denial about what he did. So that's the background of what happened. After he died I was walking up my driveway and I noticed a rose on a rose bush that hasn't blossomed in years. It was a perfect little rose, just beginning to open. Being completely grief-stricken, I immediately took it as a sign from him. Then when I came inside the house, I heard a voice - not a voice, but a message to my brain - saying, "I am sorry I didn't buy you more flowers." I was stunned and slowly started to process it and remembered that I used to give him such a hard time about buying me flowers. I feel like it was a message from him and wanted to know if anyone else gets messages like these - or thinks I am crazy. Just sitting here writing this makes me cry, maybe I am a basket case...
How beautiful. Yes I get messages like these. You are not crazy or a basketcase. What a beautiful message!
I hope that you will focus on the message you got after his death rather than the tragic circumstances that lead to it and heal. He is at peace now and not tortured with his addiction.
That is so beautiful, I started crying myself a bit. And yes, this type of experience is quite typical of lots of experiences I have with people speaking to me in my mind regarding "coincidental" events or encounters in my life. This experience you had is one to treasure the rest of your life. Absolutely agree. And know that where he is now he loves you with a depth that few living humans can experience and he will be with you always. Yes. I love this.
Tazer, I LOVE the quote from broony in your sig. And it's a bit appropriate to KnottyLeo's experience too, I think.
Thank you all so much. After his funeral, his mom let me into his bedroom and asked me if there was anything I saw that I wanted or needed. There was so much of our history surrounding me it was almost unbearable - from posters on the walls to movies on the shelves. I saw he still had an ashtray I had given him when we were 18 and I asked his Mom if I could have it. She gave it to me, and it sits on a shelf of mine, with the rose in it. They are certainly two of my most treasured physical belongings.
