So about a year ago my friend committed suicide. He had been threatening to for a long time and after months and months of talking to him about it and him not actually doing anything I figured he just wanted attention because I've dealt with something similar before where the person just wanted attention, so I stopped listening, and he did it. It crushed me. I couldn't stop blaming myself, I mean, I had let a 16 year old die. But anyway, it was exactly a year ago monday, but for the past few months I've been having night terrors, creepy feelings...it's really hard to explain. I've woken up sweating, shaking or sobbing so hard I can't breathe, or all three. I don't remember many of my dreams but the ones I do are always really traumatic, like I kill someone, someone commits suicide in front of me, I fall in love with someone who commits suicide or I commit suicide, and it always feels very very very real. Like I can physically feel everything that happens in my dreams. And besides that I can feel him...I don't know how else to explain it. Whenever I have really bad days or anything I can just...feel his presence. It's never really been threatening, that I remember. But I'll just I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I'll be sitting on the floor with his picture in my hand. So...I guess my question is, am I being haunted?
No, probably not haunted, but you're dwelling on it... That's a rough thing to go through, but you have to forgive yourself. You didn't kill him.
Your feeling of guilt is what is haunting you. You have to make peace with a situation that was not yours to control.
The energy that gets stirred up from memories of a lost one could make some weird things happen. I suppose it's all about how you perceive those weird things.
This is not a haunting as you think. What this is actually called is an echo energy imprint. When a person takes their life of dies in an extreme emotional state they reflect intense images and feelings back to a human form. Usually that person was close to them, but does not have to be. That person acts like a mirror or wall bouncing the echo energy between them and the one sending the images and feelings. He is trying to get a message to you that he is sorry and why he felt he had no other choice. Your feeling of guilt adds to the message he is sending intensifying what is already highly charged. The way to get rid of this energy is to not fight it, acknowledge his actions are his, know what is yours, (here guilt serves no purpose and only feeds the problem) Send him love and good wishes and do not feed or feel what he sends. When you do feed or feel these emotions acknowledge them and play some music that you like that moves you away from his energy. You are using a form of vibrational healing for both of you when you play the music. Some people will tell you to send him to the light. The challenge with this is he runs from the light in his own fear, shame, regrets and guilt. Each individual is responsible for THEIR actions. You could not have helped him or made his choices for him. He came through to experience this path. Let him go and honor the choice he made. His emotions were very addictive and he fed his addiction in order to experience how some one could do this. His choice was based on a past life experience with someone he was deeply in love with. He has completed his path, dealt with his feeling of karma and is creating new emotional attachments that are unhealthy. As much as he is trying to release his emotional addiction he is still feeding it. This is not yours. Do not make it yours. Cleanse your personal space with white sage and put lavender and pine cones in your bedroom. Preferable on a window ledge or some place the sun light can touch them. Change them about every month for about three months, or as long as you have the dreams or intense feelings of personal guilt and attachment to the choice he made. What happens when a person takes their life is they go to a place on the other side and face why they took their life. They usually stay in that place until the time of their natural death would have occurred. If they have faced their choice to take their life they will often help others who make the same choice. Until they face their own forgiveness and those they have hurt, they will not heal. He needs you to move beyond this as much as he wants you to forgive him for the pain he has placed in your path. He no longer has power over you, or your emotions and choices. He only has the power you give him. You hold the power within you to heal and move beyond this place. Emotions out of control are like drugs and very addictive. Feed in love only that you wish to grow.
I've been coming and returning to this thread...for some reason. Whereas I know I do not possess the abilities of old crone, what she said immediately had the ring of absolute truth to me.
