So I just recently started exploring my sexuality and decided to tell my best friend that I was bisexual, she responded by say she had feelings for me and wanted to explore them, my friend is an extremely attractive woman, like I'm talking movie star/model looks, when she walks down the street people stop and turn to look at her so obviously there was an attraction on my part towards her as well but I never really thought anything of it because she has always been as straight as an arrow. We started hooking up a few months ago and after a while I found myself becoming very attached the idea of "us" and soon I fell for her and I fell hard. I confessed my feelings and she immediately ended the 'affair' insisting she wasn't gay/bi she was just having some fun, we are now back to being best friends again but I am finding it extremely difficult, I get jealous when she goes on dates or when she sleeps with this guy she has been seeing, I don't want to lose my best friend but I'm also not okay with just being friends, I need help, what am I supposed to do when everytime we hang out all I can think of is how much I want to kiss her?
The truth is that nothing can be done here. The sooner you accept it the better it is. Your friend has taken a walk on the wild side with you. She must have had her reasons. She was curious, she wanted to try. Possibly the situation at hand helped her decide to swing the other way. Having a friend with benefits is one thing. Starting living as a lesbian is quite another. You ought to recognize the difference here. You can benefit from this experience if you recognize two important facts: #1 Under certain circumstances, i.e., close friendship, assured discretion, curiosity, etc., quite a few straight folks try to explore their bisexuality. This is usually viewed as situational homosexuality. So, you can have sex with a number of people. But a number of people are not likely to fall in love with you, and agree to the long-term bonds. #2 Even the best looking people do not always get whom they want. Sure, they have better chances, to a degree. But they also usually have very high demands, or are at least perceived by the others to have them. Sex is always good, and if an opportunity arises to get some, they'll go for it. This is some fun on the side for them, AND nothing of serious impact in their worlds. Enjoy the occasional fling but do not try to build your future upon it. KD
