Birth...

When a new baby comes into this world and then the parents have issues with each other, like big time, ie new mother wanting to leave father to go somewhere else geographically, what should a friend do?

I in that situation now, spoken to new mother tonight, not sure quite what to think.

Am in a new place now but would very value any comments. Thanks, in advance.

Thank you

 

Sounds like this baby has a very unfortunate start in life.

I'm not sure there is much you could do as a friend, but it is definitely in the child's best interest if the parents try to work things out, or at a minimum, stay close enough to each other that the kid can know both of its parents.

I don't get why people have children when they have zero sense of commitment to each other. How fucking selfish and irresponsible.

 

a friend should help

if you're friends with both then that makes it harder

 

a friend can only do so much

 

How does the father feel about the mother and baby moving away?

 

That's a good question - great point!

D, I hope you can help them figure out what they're going to do and maybe help them deal with each other, just please don't let yourself get trapped if they end up fighting. Best way out of that (stopping the fighting) is to tell them that they need to pick their battles and think of the baby FIRST. I was in a similar situation with friends who decided to get divorced before the baby was born. When I told them they were being selfish by being so nasty to each other instead of thinking about what was best for THEIR CHILD, they actually became civil with each other again. Luckily, they "got it" and were mature enough to deal with each other like adult parents!

Hopefully things won't get too bad, but if they do, I know you'll be able to figure out what to do and say.

One word of advice - make sure to not interpret any VENTING to you as actually asking for advice - esp. in the case of mama (hormones and all, ya know). I'd hold back on any advice unless it's specifically asked for. Just another way to stay out of any mess that may ensue.

Sometimes just being there to listen to their frustrations is all you can do, and that's worth a lot.

 

This, be supportive to them both and don't take sides.

 

YES! Exactly! Thanks RH :2thumbsup:

 

as poppy alluded to, she may be going through some post natal health issues

also, a new screaming baby can frazel a couple's nerves

couple counseling is the stock answer

hopefully, they are just going through a bump in the road and will smooth things out later

 

You should probably kick said friend in the vagina.

 

Thanks for the comments - appreciated :2thumbsup: