my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 3 months now, we met as coworkers. i really like being with him and he's very kind and caring. the sex is great but lately i feel like we don't do much but chill at his place, smoke weed and fuck. i don't mind it but when we first started dating, we actually went out at least once a week. and i don't know if his effort in this relationship is just slipping, or if it's truly because he's trying to save up money. either way, i don't like feeling like i'm being taken for granted... and i can't tell if that is what's happening. we smoke weed a lot, well i only smoke because im with him and on top of that, he sells. at first i thought it would be a concern that he smokes a lot but then i got used to it. the only thing that's been bothering me is how involved he is with weed. when we're at his place, a lot of the times he'll be packing weed, rolling js, or whatever... for himself or for the people who constantly txt/call him to buy some. it gets annoying because it interrupts our time together and he will actually go to meet them. he'll even answer calls or txt during sex. he's just always on his phone. im not sure where i am going with this...or what i should do... i still want to be with him and make it work, it's just that lately ive been feeling like something's changed, or is changing. mostly on his part. ive been wanting to take our relationship to the next lvl but i don't know how and i dont know if i can with the things that have been bothering me. lately i will get quiet or moody, or even distant when im with him especially when he's bz texting people who wanna buy. he never asks me what's wrong, but i get the feeling that he can sense why i'm acting that way. so instead he just gives me pecks on the lips as if that should fix things. and he doesn't really kiss me as much or in the same way as we did before. now it's always just pecks or short kisses that sometimes feel rushed. now we'll only makeout passionately if it's during sex. idk, it's just been a little alarming but i don't think his feelings have really changed, and i don't think he sees that there is anything wrong. we still txt a lot throughout the day and check up on each other, but idk... everything i've mentioned above has been a little alarming as of late, and i've just been feeling uneasy. what do you guys think? what should i do? if i talk to him how can i bring any of this up? i'm not good with confrontations.
Hmm.. Well I used to sell in NY, and it drove me fucking crazy as well cause it was constant. I would suggest you tell him and talk about it. The shorter kisses may be telling you something, but if you don't feel taken for granted and it doesn't seem as though his feelings have changed, I'm curious as to why you posted here. I mean you can be honest here, do you feel like something has changed, or maybe you just want more attention because he's busy constantly? I think people here can help but it's important that you know how you feel.
From your post it seems there are a couple of things that are bugging you. 1. You want to go to the next level, but given your current lifestyle things it is unknown if this is realistic for you. 2. Other aspects of his life aren't balanced in your opinion and it's affecting the time that is supposed to be for you two privately.
These are things to worry about after years in a relationship. It sounds like the passion is gone after 3 months and I would take that as a bad sign. But the first thing you should do is talk to him. Be up front....it doesn't have to be confrontational.
Did you guys miss this part? I don't think further elaboration is needed. You can do better. (Much better.)
I think pretty much everything u said is indeed alarming. (and as Jimmy P said, the thing about the texting/phoning while u're having sex, whoa, u should never agree with that !) u should definitely talk to him. If u can't talk to your own bf, then what's the point of even being with him? Just tell him what u said here. I hope u'll be happier, but honestly i think your relationship is just not going great and it doesn't sound like it's ever gonna be what it used to be.
only a crack dealers needs to answer the phone all the time. pot heads go to sleeps., crackheads dont. sounds like hes hustling something else on the side.
He needs a wake up call regarding his priorities. He needs to be shown how much it means to you that he does stupid shit like this, that you are second to a few bucks he makes here and there.
Answering calls and texting during sex is really lame. Personally, I'd break up with him -- but it's your life. I wouldn't trust him, personally.
If you have a problem with someone who loves pot loving pot, you better find someone else. Maybe he doesn't want this "next level" that you do, and he's shrinking back to avoid it and keep things where he likes them for now. He sounds like the dealer that everyone wants..... Answers his fucking phone and goes to meet you, instead of going "yeah ten minutes" and having sex when your trying to pay for weed THIS SECOND, not when he busts a nut, could be hours, and being a pothead he'll forget, snack, nap, and THEN remember you're waiting in the rain for him....... If you think about it, he'd be gettin' paid to fuck, as well as for the weed.....
If you're happy with the way things are and don't feel like you're being taken for granted, then you're not. I've reached that point with many of my relationships and that was when the relationship was at it's best and healthiest. If hanging out, smoking weed, and fucking is what you like to do, then do that. You don't HAVE to go out that regularly to be considered a good relationship. My fiance and I live together and we do the same thing every day. We go out to run errands and that's pretty much it. We don't make a special effort to go out regularly because we don't really have much of a desire to. Seems to me like you're fine. Just enjoy this time of chilling together all day. You may miss it one day.
It sounds like she is being taken for granted. I also wouldn't be surprised if she is being or has been cheated on by this guy.
