I'm confused, can someone PLEASE help me?

Hi. I am a 17-year-old biological female. Lately I've been questioning whether or not I am or ever was transgender. I'll explain. When I was little (as far back as I can remember), I always thought of myself as a boy. I dressed like a boy and acted like a boy, and when someone asked my gender I was sometimes unsure of what to tell them. However, I usually said I was a boy. I remember arguing with my mom and my brother, insisting to them that I was a boy. Growing up, my parents allowed me to wear boy's clothing, perhaps assuming it was a phase that I would grow out of. My dad never had a problem with this, but my mom always told me that she wished I would act and dress like a girl. On the few occasions I was forced to dress like a girl, I felt very uncomfortable. It just felt embarrassing and wrong. However, when I entered middle school at age 11, I grew out my hair and began dressing feminine. I did this because I was tired of disappointing my mom, and because she told me I would get picked on. On some level, I guess I also wanted to see what it was like to be a "real" girl. I didn't like it at first, but as puberty hit, I began feeling more comfortable as a girl. Up until very recently, however, I always thought of myself as a guy. I didn't really notice this until it stopped, which was years after I started dressing and feeling more feminine. Today, I am content being female and I wouldn't want to change my body. Still, there was a time when I did want to change my body. I had such feelings before I ever knew that there were transgender people. All of this has left me feeling confused. Although I am content being female now, I feel that there is a part of me that is incomplete or something. I want to know if anyone has any advice for me or can offer guidance. Is it possible that I grew out of being transgender? I wonder if my life would be different if I had grown up in a different environment. I just really need some help. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you to anyone who answers. I know this is a long post, so I'm going to end it here, even though there is more I would like to explain.

*I just want to give a little bit of extra information. I KNOW I was more than just a tomboy when I was little. I know because of the way I felt and the things I did. I don't know if anybody here knows anything about what happens when a mother miscarries one twin, and has the other; but, that happened with me. I read that when that happens, the other twin can sometimes get an extra dose of hormones. I'm wondering if maybe I got an extra dose of male hormones and that's what caused me to feel like I did. There have been studies on that type of thing, but it's kind of hard to find information.

 

I don't know much about the whole feeling your of the wrong gender deal but I feel like it all relates back to your hormones and so my guess is when puberty hit your hormone levels got all jacked up and mixed up so after all that your probably just more comfortable as a girl. I'm not saying either is right or wrong that's just my best guess!

 

It is possible that you are still in some way transgender... but it's highly unlikely that you are transsexual. If you are content being female now, then the "transgenderism" could have just been a phase. Or you could have just been a tomboy and grown out of it. Or you could be one of the many different categories of transgender. If you start having feelings that you're male again, then maybe you are transgender. Though I would say acute and severe gender dysphoria is something you don't have. Puberty is usually a time of immense distress for people with gender dysphoria, and it's a time in which their depression and distress over being in the wrong body is intensified and heightened.

The fact that puberty seemed to make you more comfortable in being a girl, makes it very unlikely you're suffering with actual gender dysphoria. It is possible you fit somewhere on the transgender spectrum though. Although it could also have just been a phase that you simply grew out of.

 

Hormones are not really going to explain any feelings you might have, or ALL cases of twins as you described would show such effects most likely, lol.

No-one knows the 'cause' of transgender effects, because they are likely complex, not simple, and science knows almost nothing about life or the mind yet. Trust your feelings, but if you're happy now, just be happy.