My Gods and Goddesses always change.

I was born a special child and have been a pagan for pretty much my entire life and though I know everyone's path is different I often wonder, does this happen to anyone else?

The only thing that has remained constant are my guardians and spirit guide. My gods and goddess change and not be my own choice!

They often come to me in sudden visions or dreams that can be very cryptic, or VERY direct. Then after some time has passed I go to converse with them and I cannot seem to bring them to talk with me.

I understand that in my life they choose to come forth and teach me, or show me what I need to know or learn, they serve their purpose and leave when they feel their job is done. Then I move on also, with little thought. But I often long for a long term attachment with a God/dess. There is always the Earth, but she doesn't speak to me, more so sends me feelings and signs.

I guess I long for that personal, almost confidante relationship that a lot of priests and priestesses have.

I'm free agent when it comes to religion, I don't identify with any religion, but lead a very spiritual life. Should I tie myself down?

I don't feel that's what I need to do, I'm more so looking for someone that can relate.

 

Hi Little-Blue-Ren, I think this is pretty common. I have heard others say they had a strong connection to one God or Goddess, and then as time moved on, that deity seemed to distance from them, and another one was calling to them. Just like when I try to connect with one deity from a specific pantheon, I get a strong call from a completely different pantheon (specifically Norse Gods), and I wasn't looking for them at all!

I guess it's just whatever deity you need will come forward, guiding you forward on your spiritual path. Perhaps that is why there are so many deities? To have one God, seems so impersonal to me, many different deities having their own associations and aspects, are much easier to relate to and understand.

I really wouldn't worry about trying to 'settle down' or tie yourself down to one God or Goddess. Go with the flow. The deities you relate to, and the spiritual path explore at the time, will change as you and your life change naturally. I used to be so obsessed with trying to choose one pantheon and spiritual path, and now I realise I have the freedom to explore any path, though I am usually guided to the one I need right now.

 

Perhaps your gods are trying to foster your understanding. By revealing themselves to you and then retreating from your knowledge perhaps they are trying to show you the infinite splinters of reality. One must be as a droplet of water always flowing and yet always still.

 

The good thing about pagan gods is there's an abundance to recieve guidence from and many of share the same ability. I am in the same boat. Sometimes I miss the wights I used to connect with. I'm constantly followed in my dreams by a beautiful very Lon black haired women in a black cloak. She watches me from a distance and I feel very in love with her emotionally when she's around. I have attempted to meet her once on a hillside as she overlooked me walking in a valley but as I got very close to her she disappeared and those emotional values were extremely sensitive.