hello. a friend and i were talking earlier tonight about god and lsd. when we trip, we feel (this is more or less what we were describing to each other) like our minds can work in this dimension of creating our realities, and that we get sort of used to that i guess? this is like when we were dosing maybe every week to two weeks. that when we're on lsd, we get closer to god, that god really kind of shines through us ("god" as anything you want), and that as soon as we try to describe it, this pure experience, we ruin it. But that during the trip, there are these really fantastical, not even fantastical, perfect explanations, and real control over our realities, telepathy... just incredible shit. so i've got these two particular blue shiva stamps that i want to take soon. they're great. i took one about 6 months ago and tripped with pronounced visuals. it was one of the best trips i've ever had, it was just really incredibly sunshiney and positive in the face of adversity (i was with a friend who's probably the most repressed and super incredibly angry person i've ever met -- we kind of shared in each other's consciousnesses, and his was black and scary and painful and hurting and he responds to it with rage). also, it became pretty uncomfortable as afternoon approached. it was around 4 in the afternoon by the time i got to sleep and before that i just couldn't get to sleep and i was really tired so it kind of freaked me out a little bit. but the first, say, 8-9 hours of the trip were really great. super vivid and clean and colorful. i attribute much of that to my state of mind at the time, too, but the acid was for sure some of the better tabs i've had in a while. so i've got this awesome blotter and my friend says he'd like to come along sober with the intent of recording everything i'm saying. but what i was thinking and what i told him is that (just thinking critically, not as a judgment) i'd kind of be entering his "bubble" (that was the word he used for it). and i kind of feel as though if we set out with the intent of capturing everything the whole time, i'd probably have a super lousy trip. but that's kind of a tangent. there were times during trips when I even found webpages through which I'd know the message. Just internet pages with garbled biblical nonsense that led to pages that spoke to me in uncanny ways. that's another thing we were talking about. that we've both experienced these very distinctive things, and that when we talk about it, we sound absolutely fucking insane. that there's discomfort in not being able to do this anymore, even long after the trip is over. my friend last dosed a year ago and has not since, and for me it's been a couple months. i feel like... i want what happens when ego ceases, and i feel like i'm almost being kind of greedy with it, like that i still have a life here to live. so... do you know what i'm talking about? can anyone relate?
Yes, when on psychedelics it does often seem as if things are directed solely at you. I will quote myself; "Everybody has noticed how it can seem as if everything heard and seen while on a psychedelic experience was "meant for you". It's not that it was pre-ordained for that song to come on the radio at that moment just for you. It's because the psychedelic experience is a wholly personal one and everything encountered and experienced, whether internal or external, will be tied to some aspect of yourself. That is how psychedelics work on the human creature. It is in understanding that and learning to utilize it that is the earmark of a true psychonaut. With attention to your self in all states of consciousness and learning the effects of your chosen substance, these things can be readily learned. But it takes time and attention, respect for the substance and a brutal honesty with oneself." http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=408443&f=48 (I am the re-incarnation of PB ) It is possible to learn to cultivate and maintain that psychedelic mind-set, but far to often we end up getting in our own way. I also agree that trying to record everything said/done while tripping would most likely end up detracting from the experience. 18 hours!?? Doubt it was LSD, more likely some DOx substance as they are they only ones that have such long durations and also do give "amphetamine" like results.
no... that's not what I was talking about. not having it feel like things are meant for me, though i'm familiar with that feeling (as evidenced by the webpage thing). being able to create my own reality and consciousness, even on single hits of blotter. and having this fractal state of overlaying reality, it's like having a different dimension careen through your entire consciousness once you're sober and months after use of lsd. i don't think you understand. do you? also, it's not DOx or any other fake acid. it's a shitload easier to get real, normal lsd than it is to get DOx or other weird shit for me. besides my body knows the feeling of lsd as soon as i place it on my tongue, it's gotten accustomed. it's just really strong acid (though it felt like more "silver" quality than fluff i've had because of the increased visuals and less perfectly-clear cognition, and that lower level of purity might have had something to do with the length, but i think it was probably more me and not having done acid in over a year than anything else) -- on this trip, i had nearly-constant open-eye visuals for hours in a very consistent lsd-like fashion, was getting mild visuals 15 minutes after i dosed and the strong come-up started in earnest +30. i just had an immense amount of feel-good chemicals already in my brain from living a good life and it made it an awesome trip since i was already quite familiar with lsd trips' high-maintenance quality. that that alone is unlike what i've read about DO's and other research chems. But internet forum people do love to throw out random names of chemicals, it's a weird game. is "spot the fake and/or less-experienced-than-yourself lsd user, make yourself feel bigger" a game that's been around this forum for long? participating in it will cultivate it. you're capable of cutting it off before it begins, not reaping the basic karmic (causal) result of negative ego games. like me talking down to you now. see? let's play nice. anyway, don't focus on the shit about that particular trip that i wrote about. i just get incredibly ridiculous stamps down here with some regularity. always have. my first ever lsd trip, years ago, was on 4 hits of family stamps (us blues). my experience on the one hit of shiva was extra-intense because i'd been totally sober for a year before taking it. it was also extremely positive because of that. but that's unimportant. getting used to this "god complex", where i become aware of something literally existing in a different dimension but becoming so used to it and comfortable with it (and hence uncomfortable and dissatisfied with this existence, getting flashes of the other existence whenever my mind wanders) because of long-term use of lsd and other psychedelics that it never really leaves me. that was the point of my post. so has anyone, after many scores of trips and transitions from total ego cessation to getting reacquainted with their lives, gotten to this point where it's kind of uncomfortable not to be in that total truth? where they know the full truth and they're just fucking around with themselves because they want more of the beyond-the-ego's-cessation-ness?
I stayed up pretty much for 18 months. As awesome as it is, and as much as I would like to stay there - our dimension interferes. The insights, the truths, the god complex fade when you come down. Christ man - use it, enjoy it, learn from it - but it is not life. We can not leave our existence for that. It causes misery later in life when the drug is not available and you must confront this existence. Love it, leave it and then enjoy it again. Learn from it but the ultimate truths of this pitiful existence is are not revealed in the drug. I wish they were. 64 and missing 1970.
Oh - and please write more briefly and concisely. My brain can no longer deal with all the fluff that accompanies the truth. You will also see that someday. All boils down to love and peace and cohabitation in this world that we live in. That we can each do.
who are you to tell me how to write about these immensely intimate and personal experiences? i'll continue writing about it in the way that feels most accurate. if you find my mode of communication uncomfortable, you could always leave and not say anything at all, thereby avoiding pushing your views on someone. for all the implied psychedelic experience in your post, you don't seem to be coming from a place of kindness. incidentally, writing something like "you'll see that someday" is simply straight-edge, condescending fluff. your meaningless fluff is better than mine? nay. my fluff is super pure. "Learn from it but the ultimate truths of this pitiful existence is are not revealed in the drug." The insights, the truths, the god complex fade when you come down if you didn't have any ultimate truths revealed to you, or if the truths you perceived on the drug faded after you came down, then i can't speak to your experience, but it means you're not a person for whom the question is intended.
Well sorry if I misunderstood your post (it is kinda a ramble). Plus with a duration of 18 hours usually it is some other substance than LSD, but if you say your come-up was rapid then most likely LSD. Not trying to play any games or "one-up" you in any fashion. If that is what you took away from my legitimate statement, then that is all you and your erroneous perception of my intent. I will say that your arrogant attitude isn't very becoming. There are a lot of members here who have long and extensive experience with psychedelics, myself being one of them with over 35 years of experimentation under my belt. Beyond that, yes, as I stated, it is possible to foster and maintain that type of mind-set you speak of, but it does require working hard to let it come to the forefront of our daily consciousness. If you are coming away from your psychedelic experiences with feelings of dissatisfaction and discomfort in your normal waking consciousness, then your missing something in the translation. LSD has given me a much deeper and greater appreciation and reverent gratitude for all of life, regardless of the particular state of consciousness I may be experiencing at any one time. Conciousness is a continuous spectrum and all states are valuable and worthy of investigation and none is more superior than another. Remember it's all a grand and glorious play being performed on the stage of your life and it's all for you. Welcome to Hip forums, but please drop the arrogance.
"Not trying to play any games or "one-up" you in any fashion." you follow it with not taking any responsibility for the effects of your words, which is one way of game-playing. "If that is what you took away from my legitimate statement, then that is all you and your erroneous perception of my intent." perhaps the erroneous perception stemmed from the intent being erroneously related. i went out of my way in the first post to not make a big deal about how many times i've taken psychedelics, and you treated me like someone who couldn't possibly tell the difference between good acid and a research chemical, so i justified my position. you're the one who initiated this side of the interaction, not me. undoubtedly game playing, pretty negative games as well. your posts are just making me feel small while i'm trying to relate a really intimate experience. your intent is not based in love -- if it was, you wouldn't have initiated a condescending interaction and then accused me of arrogance when i responded in kind. i'd thank you for a welcome, but the rest of your post is a sea of disinterest and negativity, and a sole piece of welcome surrounded by negative stuff doesn't strike me as essentially truthful.
I applaud you - I really do. To say my life was not transformed in a positive direction would be far, far from the truth. All I am saying is that the world we live makes so much of what we have seen and experienced of little use. Poverty, hate, murder, greed, theft, blind belief, all interfere with the honesty, love and truth of the inner experience of acid. An isolated communal experience might be the only way to really live what you have experienced. Perhaps you have the strength and character enable you to dismiss all corruption and greed that surround us. I am 64 and to go back to and renew and refresh my consciousness would be soooo cool. Maintain what you have if is good and pure and harmless to others.
i have an inkling that it had more to do with my mental state than the acid, not having used any psychoactives of any kind for over a year when i did it. i think it was psychosomatic. i'm going to edit that out of my original post. i don't want that to be the focus, that's really an irrelevant, tangential stoned rambling that i wrote in the middle of the night. please don't let that ruin you on responding to the more important content in the post.
thanks i really dug your post. i feel like i was incorrect in thinking you weren't coming from a place of kindness.... you clearly are, much more than me. that's wonderful and i appreciate your post.
Rite on.... It's just after hanging here a bit, you'll see plenty of people post "i took so much cid i tripped for days man" kinda stuff. Repeating all the urban myths they heard their buddys in school repeat. I think I hear what you're trying to express in your OP. I kind of feel like I'm only able to retain fragments of experiences. Since re-introducing psyches to my life after many years, I've sort of just tried to hold on to one or two 'ideas' gained in a trip. If I can do that, I'm happy. I tend to be left with a "feeling inside", a slight tinge of the psychedelic state that I try to keep in touch with and add to the ingredients of life. Not the main ingredient, more like some salt and pepper sprinkled on top. I feel it's common to have spiritual concepts come to the forefront during an experience. Much of my belief system is based on those. NG made the comment about the feeling that "this happened just for you" sort of feeling, like a song coming on, whatever. That too seems common. For me, a trip is a brief 'peek behind the curtain', a reminder. LSD has taught me empathy, shown me the interconnectedness of life, but mostly shown me things about myself. I partake of it sparsely, of the handful of things i've tried it is the most precious. And I've learned that for me, I'm not supposed to live in that state frequently. The best I can hope for is to carry forth into my life concepts of how to get along on the planet and with others. For me, no. I haven't ventured into total ego loss since way back, and for a reason. It's not where I want to go, it offers nothing of value to me. I do look for truth, and make it part of my life tho. For me, I don't need to loose myself to continue that quest.
I can relate, my first psychadelics experience was very intense and lasted a solid 12-14 hours. LoveTheDeadHateUsernames, do you have email or aim by chance? Edit: 5:54PM
thanks voyage, i really enjoyed the relation of your personal experience. it made a lot of sense, and it helped me feel understood. i also understand that if you guys regularly get people coming on here BSing about their trips or talking them up in unrealistic (dishonest) ways, that you'd get tired of it. i just wanted my words to speak for themselves, and i was hoping that the heart of what i wrote, rather than random factoids about how long i've used psychedelics or the most intense trip i've ever had or something, would determine my level of experience with psychedelics. 'preciate your time and effort in replying.
dude, if LSD has made you sort of dis-satisfied with normal consciousness, or it has shown you the truth and now you are just playing around with it for fun...do you think that it's time to give it a rest? i'm genuinely asking. like voyage, and noxious, tripping has only given me an appreciation for normal life. though i have only had a few ego dissolving trips, and probably tripped less than you, but i do have a good amount of experience. so now that i've touched on your topic of interest, would you entertain one of mine? i'm curious about the actual blotters you took. were the blue "shivas" a predominantly blue alex grey artwork on one side, and white background with a black ganesha (elephant) on the other? a mild "soapy" taste? from europe? i tried them once, when i was tripping a little too often, and found 1 +1 an hour later to be fairly mild. i'm hoping that the 3 i have left with be a strong dose. i can relate the the feeling of impurity of these and other doses from europe. but it could easily be a stronger dose than i'm used to, and the effects are from LSD itself. i got purported US Blues once too. they were cut too small, so that my 10 strip was closer to 6 or 7 hits. pretty weak, but maybe not the same as yours.
There's so much animocity in the first page of this thread. I think you need to try not to take offense to comments made by most of the people posting here. As long as you are being kind and earnest in your desire for good conversation there's no reason to believe that noxious is insulting you, although you wouldn't know that unless youd seen that hes a good guy and hes not one to insult over something like this. If you read that a trip lasts 18 hours then the first thought is usually DOx, cause acid doesnt usually last that long, although im sure it can. I tripped for about 16 hours the last time I did acid. Basically what im saying is that you shouldn't take offense to the suggestion that you might not have had lsd, because its nothing more than a passing observation based on statistics. Obviously every trip is different. There are very few absolutes with psychedelics. Also I don't think anyone is trying to accuse you of not having LSD, especially once you confirmed the come up time and your level of experience. You do seem to know what you're talking about. As for the topic of the thread, i do know of what you speak. My last (strongest) acid trip actually turned me from being mostly atheist to a strong believer in god, not religion, but god. I have certainly felt a connection to a higher consciousness in my stronger trips, but to describe the experience in words is simply beyond me. You said that trying to talk about it ruins it, and i agree completely. I think that our language system detracts from our ability to understand the ethereal and the spiritual. One cannot put into words an idea which surpasses language. How is a conscious being supposed to describe the experience of a greater consciousness, one which encompasses all else that we spend our entire lives trying to understand and explain? I think the only way to have any kind of understanding of god is to feel it. It's not something that can be relayed from one person to another. A person must experience and feel gods existence to have any kind of understanding of god.
I felt an interconnectedness (cliche) between all things and the existence of a shared higher consciousness which I have come to understand as god. I was very closed off to any idea of anything not firmly grounded in "reality" and since that trip I've come to realize that there is a lot more to reality than what we perceive. I've felt god ever since.
