Meditating when depressed

I can not meditate the way I did before. My state of consciousness does not change, it feels like at least. When I try to focus on one thing my thoughts run awry. Has anyone experienced something similar?

 

Exactly this...

 

When you were depressed?

 

there is a zen story. the student went to the monk and said "please teach me to meditate." the monk said "go to your room, sit quietly and come to see me when you are no longer thinking of the white horse."

the student was a little puzzled, but he followed the monk's advice. he sat in his room... and for many hours he struggled and sweated, for although he had not thought of white horses before, of course now that was all that filled his mind.

finally, exhausted, he returned to the monk, feeling a little ashamed. "i cannot think of anything now but the white horse," he said.

the monk roared with laughter. "good, good," he said, "so we know your mind is working properly. when meditating it is normal for your mind to jump along like a mad monkey - or a mad monk, for that matter - HA! ...and thinking of all sorts of things. it is because you are alive. the trick of meditation is not to be worried about it. just rest as you feel the thoughts scurrying along, just as you'd watch spring clouds in a blue sky."

there is something the barefoot doctor once said: depression is a decision. i read that statement in his "handbook for the urban warrior" and it rather changed my perspective. i wonder what would happen if you read it?

also (forgive the long post, i do go on, don't i), please ask yourself why you are meditating. what are you wanting from it? because frustration in meditation sometimes means you have something a little skew...

meditation isn't really some thing you do.
it's some how you are.

:biggrin:

 

Yes

 

Sorry for my inadequate post explaining my situation. (The fact that I'm depressed makes it harder for me to do things properly and do things at all.) My thoughts have always run awry when meditating, but the feeling of serenity is gone and my thoughts also permanently jumps away from the thing I am focusing on.

Earlier it was like this: automatically focusing on the word "ladder", thoughts running rampant returning to "ladder", thoughts running rampant, returning to "ladder" and so forth.

Now I have to actively think "ladder" the whole time, and as I said earlier the feeling of serenity is gone, and even though I actively think "ladder", my thoughts run awry and I entirely forget to think about "ladder".

 

Are you no longer depressed now? If that is the case, has your meditation returned to normal?

 

I think that's actually a bad idea. You're more than likely only dwell and dig a deeper hole. Better to face or deal with the depression first, if possible.

 

I've sort of "flat lined" for lack of a better term... Still depressed, still have anxiety, but I'm into a "trying to pick up the pieces after hitting that brick wall" mentality right now. Kinda numb....

I haven't tried meditating. No idea if it comes back... I'm still trying to find my space.

 

people do have different methods, i suppose. i did vipassana. until i didn't.
i repeat the last two lines of my previous post, and take my leave. thank you for reading.

 

Yoga and meditation both are very important those who are suffer in depression and have the broken health so yoga play a very important role in this matter who are in much psyche to get rid of such disease meditaion by yoga is much necessary for the body to avoid all type of the circumstances.

 

Thoughtless meditation is a wrong point of view. There is no point in life in which there are no thoughts.

Two modes of action occur though - rest and activity. In rest there are restful thoughts, in activity there are active thoughts.

During meditation when thoughts become very active then it's time to pull off the act of meditation and let the mind hover in the body and one will find some part of the body where some activity is occuring, maybe even just some joint or limb is stressed. Let the mind sit with it until it adjusts and rests then if one feels like it go back to meditation activity. A joint or limb is still outward. Some activity can occur on a celular level and you will not know where. Nonetheless, sit with the body. This whole instruction is one of 'allowance' not of anticipation. One doesn't anticipate where ones thoughts or body activity comes from.

In no way force the mind to maintain a specific state. This non-force is the proper technique of all yoga and meditation.

 

I agree with Chodpa, when I'm having a panic attack I sit, meditate and focus on the way my body feels.

 

Consider depression may be a result of misidentifying oneself as the body and mind.