I have sank deep into my despair and feel I am doomed.

I have recently tried to pledge myself to god but I have a huge pit of sin to dig myself out of. I am currently battling the temptation to view porn but their are other temptations. All I read on sites where people ask for help and guidance are followers of god telling you to repent and once you repent you can't commit the same sin. I can't control my thoughts they wonder it is part of who I am sometimes I remember the porn I have previously viewed and masturbated to or I have the erotic thriller movie Chloe with Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried, and Julianne Moore. For those who haven't seen Chloe it has a lesbian sex scene between Seyfried and Moore and yes I think it is hot and have masturbated to it in the past. What's the problem then? this is lust and masturbation is also a sin so I have to repent and never do it again. I have had sexual fantasies that my Christian grandfather has told me are normal but a lot of others say that it is still lust.


Pretty much to be in god's mercy I have to do a complete 180 with my life and have complete control of my thoughts. I am interested in writing novels and even considered putting sexual fanservice in one of them and now I fear I may write something that may offend god and if I don't realize it I can't ask for forgiveness so then I will suffer eternal damnation. I am not joking when I say this. It has pretty much ruined all the progress I have made in my therapy and left me in a fetal position on my bed and other times has put me on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I actually sobbed the whole time I confessed all of this to my therapist. I don't know what to do I feel like I can dig myself a bit out of the pit of sin but not enough to earn god's forgiveness. What will be my punishment some may ask? Complete annihilation of my body and soul in the Lake of Fire on Judgement day. I will be wiped from existence and I myself will not exist. I like existing so that is a scary thought for me.


So that's it I tried to shorten it but this is literally the inner torment I suffer each day.

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Fuck you.

Porn blah blah bliggity blah.

Go fuck yourself and post it on the internet. Pick the masturbation scabs off your dick before though... they're unsightly.

 

I think you're being irrational and placing way too much emphasis on what is really a trivial thing. You think that God, who knows all the mysteries of the universe, all the mysteries of your soul, is simply going to dismiss you one day, throw you in a pit, because you're a chronic masturbator? You know better than that, deep down.

Take it easy. If this is behavior you really want to stop, I guarantee you you'll have better success if you just settle down and see it for the silly thing that it really is. You're just a human, susceptible to all the things that human beings are. Being human is great. Even the angels were jealous of us, after all.

 

Damn man, look at all the porn you want...this religion of yours doesn't sound very healthy. And trust me I used to be a christian, well screw following a religion that just makes you feel like crap about yourself. Honestly though I think if that Jesus character is real he probably smokes pot......so why can't you look at porn? In my opinion sin does not even exist.

But take it or leave it, that's just what I have to say about it but its up to you what you'd like to do with it.

 

Christian guilt is soooo gosh darn silly!

When I first hit puberty I was afraid that my grandparents could see me masturbating from heaven lol.

Dude, without going into a theology debate....you're a sexual person. Whether or not God made you, you are SEXUAL! If God made you, then God made you SEXUAL! so fucking jerk off and enjoy it already. Accept the human orgasm as a gift from God.