A controversial topic, adult sex with children

I think this is a troll post now too.

 

Honestly all I can say is if the child hasn't even reached sexual maturity yet, its difficult to say. Something an 8 year old may be curious about, could eventually turn into something that haunts them in their later years. They simply can't comprehend it at the level that the adult would. They won't even feel the same sexual impulses. it would simply be curiosity and nothing more. I don't think that's an even playing field.

 

"the adult would be obeying the child"? What's wrong with that picture? As I said--you either get it or you don't.

 

Then I guess I don't get it.

In fact, I am truly confused. I understand why you guys react so fanatically to this. If I am wrong and I would execute my theory then I could seriously damage a child. You guys want to prevent that from happening and of course I also want to prevent that. Don't worry, I won't become a father anytime soon and even if I were, I wouldn't try my theory with the risk of being wrong and damaging my child.

However, I will try to do some research, because I'm still not convinced that I AM wrong. I still don't understand why people can't look at sex as being a fun innocent game. I can, I look at it that way, am I so weird? Of course I also understand that sex can be intimate, but it doesn't have to be. There are several kinds of sex, at least to me. There is intimate cuddly sex, there is horny porn sex and there is fun playful sex. Sex, in my mind, is a much broader word than just blowjobs, eating pussy and fucking. Fun playful sex doesn't have to be horny or intimate, it is just playing and teasing.

Anyway, that's how I look at it. Maybe I'm the only one in the whole wide world who looks at it like that. Just don't worry, I won't do anything crazy, but I will do some research.

 

It can be all of that with an appropriate partner. The situation you describe in the first post would get a child removed from a home. Not so much the nudist thing but the parents having sex in front of the kid. The only way to prevent the kid from blabbing it at school is to use shaming tactics that are damaging to the child.

I know this from experience. I am an adult survivor of child sexual abuse. I didn't tell anyone until I was in my early 20's because I was told that if I told anyone that "We" would get in trouble.

The other part of the situation that you describe is that someone needs to be the adult in that situation. If junior catches mommy going down on daddy and it leads to experimentation with someone his own age that's one thing. Kids play you show me yours I'll show you mine all the time. But to ask an adult to do it is inappropriate. And if the adult does it it is even more inappropriate.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

I was thinking the same thing!

I would like to also add that the odds of a child asking that of a parent would be rare, now the child asking a friend? More likely to be what would happen

 

Well the problem is sexual education is not encouraged so when the child is curious and makes inquires, the parents give false information to cull that curiosity. I think the intellect children have is taken for granted too often. Not saying that 8 year olds are old enough to have sex but if they are given correct and accurate knowledge about sex when that curiosity arises, it empowers them to react in light of that knowledge. Knowledge can be a form of protection in itself IMO.

 

We all want our children to be safe. I have daughters, sons.

There is however a certain amount of hysteria involving this issue in that any kind of reasoning discourse about it is regarded as twisted or as tacitly approving.

Dispassionate serious regard would have us ask questions about important issues and the fact that the problem is getting worse suggests that our previous learning is not serving us well.

 

Well that's why we have forums to talk about issues with people and gather different opinions in the hope that everyone can learn from different views.
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But yeah the "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" game is very common among peers.

Also I think that when parents lie to their kids about sex topics, it hurts the likelihood that the child will see the parent as a credible trustworthy source of information. I can't tell you how many friends just would rather get sex advice from (internet, magazines, friends) rather than their parents. And unfortunately some of the information in the (internet, magazines, friends) are just downright myth or false entirely.

 

Bonkai:

Well said. The very atmosphere of prohibition is unhealthy. It creates the assumption there is not enough intelligence to encourage what is good for us.

thedope:

I think this really sums up the issue.

 

you REALLY don't think much of children..

 

I asked my mom to tongue kiss me when I was 3 or 4 cuz somebody told me that when people love each other they kiss with their tongues

She respectfully declined and accepted a noisy kiss on the lips as was the custom in our home

Retrospection leads to appreciation for her declination

peas

 

I prefer dogs. And sea lions

 

I'd add to the discussion that some adults, when they're aroused, have difficulty keeping themselves under control. Even if a child initiated the action (which I agree with others on here, would probably never happen), who's to know that the dynamic would stay that way? It would be a slippery slope, legally, because if the adult were to take it too far in the heat of the moment, and not back off when the child wants to stop, then be charged with statutory rape, he or she could use the defense that "the kid started it." Even if the person is convicted and justice in the most lenient definition were served, the kid's head would be (excuse the pun) fucked up for life.

A parent is there to protect, teach, and discipline, but none of that requires physical contact.

 

Life, I don't think you're looking for reasons why it is wrong. You've already made up your mind by rationalizing why it is okay and there isn't anything anyone could say that would convince you otherwise because your rationalizations have fallen into the realm of absurdity, and there's no arguing against the absurd.

Yes, sex is supposed to be fun and there are many who have hang-ups about it. Yes, sex can be a game, but it is a game that may have consequences. These consequences are beyond what a child should have to deal with. Numerous posts above have spelled those consequences out, including STDs, physical injury and pregnancy. I realize you're arguing that you draw the line at intercourse, which completely contradicts everything else you've said, but that's beside the point because all of the consequences above, save pregnancy, do not require intercourse. And as someone above clearly pointed out, an individual who is sexually aroused may lose control and not be able to draw the line at intercourse. The youngest pregnancy on record was 5-years-old. Also, children of incest develop genetic abnormalities. This is why it is taboo in most societies.

I'm also going to add that adults are here to teach children about boundaries. An anything goes attitude and "it's all a game" greatly confuses boundaries. There are many children who do not have boundaries and they have a lot of behavioral issues because of it. They are children who do not understand their role as a child versus the role of the adult. They are oppositional, cannot follow routines, anxious, and engage in unsolicitated, inappropriate touching of others. These are children who are not learning because they cannot focus in school. These are children who are treated like little adults (sexually or otherwise) and are confused because they are developmentally incapable of being adults. They do not understand the boundaries that keep our society going. Having appropriate boundaries is part of what allows us to be a good student, employee, maintain healthy relationships, be accepted by others, etc.

Why do YOU have such a hang-up about privacy? What is so wrong about having private adult time to do adult things? What is so very wrong with that? Why do you equate THAT with societies' hang-ups about sex? Our society doesn't have issues with sex because we keep the ACTS private and separate from our children. Our society has hang-ups because of a complicated slew of religious dogma, mixed messages, issues with nudity, etc.

Go ahead, argue against everything I've said. Rationalization is something humans are very good at doing, not matter how irrational the rationalizations may be.

 

I'm sad that you don't trust my intentions. That I am honestly concerned for the mental and physical wellbeing of children and that I do consider the possibility of being wrong which is why I wouldn't actually test my theory.

I guess you are shocked and appalled that someone could say these things I said, am I right? And I guess you really needed to express your shock and maybe you have a tiny hope that it might change my thinking, is that true?

I think I understand most of what you're saying. I agree that pregnancy, STDs and physical injuries are not things that children should have to worry about. These are troubles for adults, not for children.
I would like to understand the following, where do we draw the line and why there? What I mean is, is kissing on the cheek considered sex? No? What about a kiss on the nose? What if one licks the nose of the other? What about if lips touch lips, is that part of sex? What if one puts his/her mouth over the nose of the other and blows air in the nose? That feels weird, but maybe you wouldn't call it sexual? What if one sticks out their tongue and the other kisses the tongue or licks the tongue, is that considered sex?
I would like to know a clear definition of what is considered sexual and what isn't and I would like to know why you chose that definition. This is not a "haha I trapped you" question, I genuinely want to understand.

I understand and it resonates with me and also I would like to add that only you can decide where your boundaries lie, nobody else but you. Other people can only encourage you to express your boundaries out loud and to protect them, but nobody can tell you where your boundaries lie, only you can.

I hope you are genuinely interested to understand where I'm coming from, because I would like to be understood. I have no problem with privacy, I have a problem with taboos. I don't like it when something is forbidden not because it's hurting anybody, but just because everybody thinks it's "wrong". I also have a problem with obligation, which is like the other side of taboo. With taboo there are things that you just SHOULDN'T do and with obligations there are things that you just HAVE TO do. So I don't mind if people want to hide their bodies, but I do mind when they tell me that I should also hide my body. Of course they can REQUEST me to cover up, because they have a problem with it, but please don't demand it, don't make your problem into my problem.

This is the same thing with sex. I am genuinely confused if engaging in sexual acts with a child is considered wrong because it actually damages the child, or if it is considered wrong because everybody just agreed that it is just wrong.

You said I make absurd rationalizations, but maybe you guys are doing the same thing. I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying that could be. It happens often with taboos. I just hoped that we could have a constructive conversation about this, but I'm afraid that this subject touches a lot of people so deeply that most are not able to put aside their judgments. I don't blame you, I do it too.

 

I was going to respond,but my kids are begging for blowjobs again and I have to obey them as ,of course,they know best. Have a nice day.

 

That's hot

 

This is why this community is disagreeing with you.

I also wanna point out that the two paragraphs of your quoted above are contradicting each other. You cannot understand why society's boundaries, not individual personal boundaries, that STI/STD's and pregnancy are issues that children shouldn't deal with yet also float the notion that society just said children can't give consent on just because they feel it's wrong.

It's wrong because there's evidence shown they aren't ready. Period.

 

sorry i have bad eyes and clicked the wrong button.. i do like your reply.. the OP is sick and needs help bad..