Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 10 months now, but have been really good friends for about 2 years. Our relationship has become pretty serious (We're only 17, so some people may disagree, but we're pretty serious for our age at least) and it's been a somewhat long-term relationship, as well. The issue here isn't her, it's me. Everything was fine for the entire 2 years we were friends, we actually both liked each other those entire 2 years and we both knew it/told each other, but we never officially started dating until 10 or so months ago. That's when the problems started, for me at least (she's completely unaware of all of this) My problem is that, one day i will love her more than anything and will want to be with her forever, but then the next i will feel as if i barely care about her (yet i know i still love her deep down) and will have feelings of wanting to break up with her and just not want to talk to her in general. And this happens quite frequently, on and off all of the time, sometimes i'll go weeks with just having these pure feelings of love towards her and wanting to be with her all the time, but then suddenly the next day i'll suddenly change and feel as if i'm sick of her and kind of just want to separate. And it's weird how these feelings change so quickly, i'll love her beyond belief in the morning, but then by noon i'll simply not want to talk to her at all, yet at the same time i know deep down i do want to talk to her, i just... can't explain it? Then she becomes upset and sad because she thinks that i'm mad at her, even though she's done nothing wrong, and then she'll keep asking me whats wrong, or if she did anything wrong, then soon as she does this those feelings of boredom/wanting to separate suddenly go away? (most of the time). I then get back all those good feelings towards her? In conclusion... i'm just wondering whats wrong? One minute i'll want to be with her forever, then the next i'm wanting to break up with her... And i never actually do break up with her, because i know if i do i'll regret it the next day more than anything, and i just have that feeling that i wont know what to do without her, and that i'll never find somebody else if i leave her. Why is it that we were completely fine until we started dating? Like when we were friends, we both liked each other and had no issues, i never felt like this towards her. But now that we're dating, i constantly question our relationship and my feelings towards her bounce all over the place. I've had this feeling of wanting to break up now for 3 days straight, this is weird for me, it usually only lasts a few hours, a day at the most... which is why i'm asking this, although last night i did have those "loving feelings" towards her again for a few hours, but other than that it's been 3 days straight... It's just like... one day i think how i want to be with her forever, then the next i couldn't ever picture being with her forever at all, you know what i mean?
Maybe you could take some time to step back and identify the cause of your negative feelings towards her. Is there something else affecting your mood during the down periods? Is there some major stressor in your life related to family, work, spirituality, etc? I think there's probably nothing wrong with you, and that you need to identify an external stressor that could cause mood/emotion swings.
Teenaged angst and hormones, says I. I went through the same thing. Not every teenager can handle a serious relationship. I'm not saying to break up, just take it easy. Go slow.
Do these feelings coincide with any sexual activity of any kind at all between you two? I agree that this is normal hormones affecting your mood, take it slow, and just realize that's where these mood swings come from and it's probably why they're so irrational and don't make logical sense, it's chemical-biological. -- Just follow this tip of advice, whatever you feel, stick to your morals, and don't cheat on her if an opportunity presents itself. Also get rid of the notion that because your "in-love" that you have to be supercharged to be with each other 24/7, that's a lie hollywood, romance novels, and the like feed to us. And it's been fooling the young for years, and even some adults too! But if the relationship becomes unhealthy, then that is a valid reason to end it.
Nothing. Who gave you the idea that it is normal to want to be with someone all the time, and wrong to not want that?
Could be hormones, could be mood disorder. I personally was very sensitive to real relationships, so my gfs really swung my mood. You're 17 so it's totally normal. Even now sometimes I feel the call of self destruction. If this continues past your teens I would consider a mood disorder. A mood disorder does not mean drug therapy, it can but in a mild case like this it means just an acknowledgment of your turbulent moods, an careful consideration of where if anywhere logical it is coming from. Though honestly, time will help settle things down, your body shimmers down. the relationship hardens. you'll probable find in a year a solid place of mind.
My guess is that you`re spending too much time with her, and sacrificing other interests to appease her. Why do you want to appease her? Chances are, you are afraid of losing her or her approval. So you keep her under your wing, even though you might want to be doing something else. Nothing that healthy me time couldn`t fix. Good luck. :2thumbsup:
