I feel myself worrying too much about social interactions. I tend to want to avoid people and just be alone. I have some social anxieties, for instance: I speculate far too much on how I interact with people and what they say, and if someone criticizes me, I will take it way too personally. I try not too, I just can't help it. My mind overthinks things way too much, and that causes me to not want to interact with anyone. I always feel people are observing me, like that feeling where you say something off or awkward then leave, and hear everyone laughing to each other as you walk away. I feel that feeling is always haunting me in social situations. I want to be more social, I'm a virgin, and really want to meet a girl and fall in love etc etc. I just don't know how any of this can happen if I continue being so closed off from everyone else. Don't get me wrong. I'm social and very friendly, it's just I'm not one to just go up to someone and introduce myself. Let's put it this way, after hi, my name is _____ how's it going? oh cool cool.. yeah me too... I have no idea what to say and often just panic and leave the scene, thus feeling worse about myself. I just don't know how to end this cycle...
i was a bit like this when i was much younger, not much confidence, but someone once said to me, don't worry about what to say, become a listener instead and ask them questions about themselves, and as most people like to talk, it kinda gets the conversation flowing. probably haven't explained myself very well here, hope youve got the gist of what i'm trying to say and hope this helps in some way.
I have the exact same problem, I have lived with it from age 12 until now (28) I still can't overcome it, but I blame it on my upbringing. The only thing I have found that helps me is a low dose of xanax. It really helps me to not stress the little things and it makes it easier to be myself.
Hey, I'm IN a relationship and feel like I'm a hermit. She's the only one I'm interested in seeing, and I wonder how long that will be for. Everyone else can go to hades for all I care, or at least do their own thing without bothering me.
Paranoia is always a behavior of egos. "Being yourself"="total sincerity" It's a very fucking hard mandate to live up to.
I Don't Understand How Some Of You Say You Are In A Relationship, Yet Still Describe Yourselves As A Hermit.... My Definition Of A Hermit, Is Someone Who Lives Alone, And Wherever Possible Shuns Contact With Society.... Cheers Glen.
In american english, the term can be hyperbolically used just to mean a generally loner/anti-social person.
And you don't think it's possible to do that and still meet up once a week or fortnight to have a non-social (read: romantic) relationship?
Honestly if I weren't a hermit I probably wouldn't be on hipforums. This is basically the most social interaction I have...and I agree with Glen - I don't think you can consider yourself a hermit if you're in a relationship. You care about someone, and someone else cares about you.
I'm exactly the same way - if not worse. I'm pretty much a hermit, and it's kind of depressing because i'm only 17 so i feel as if i'm wasting away my teenage years. Honestly, the only social interactions i make are at school. The second that school bell rings i come home and am cut off from society and my friends for the rest of the day. Imagine what my summers are like... 2 straight months without talking to any of my peers. I'm a little worried as to what's going to happen after i graduate... I have a lot of friends at school, and am quite the social person when around all my friends, strangely enough i'm the entertainer out of all of them pretty much. But none of them have ever seen me outside of school. I'm very anti-social, and hate public/social interactions outside of school, especially with my peers. Although i do have a girlfriend, i only see her outside of school once every week or two, it used to be even less. It's funny i'm reading this now actually, because... There's a party going on as we speak that i was invited too, all of my friends and my girlfriend are there... I'm the only one that didn't go i'm assuming, i just dislike the thought of going out for some reason.
Just keep in mind, "Fuck em'" and all that goes away... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSzz-t7ywVM&feature=related"]motivational speech from pump up the volume - YouTube
Trust me your not alone. I'm still a bit of a loner but I get out of the house once in awhile mostly to take photos and enjoy nature. Your not alone, everyone feels closed off from the world. I'm here if you ever need to talk to anyone.
It obviously bothers you. Man up and LEARN to be comfortable talking to people again. Or suffer forever! Think of every conversation as a chance to better your null skills. Have fun with it (as much as you can). I suggest doing this even with baby steps than ignoring it, for your sake. Good lucks. Once you get better, don't worry too much about always having something to say too. The other person is also as responsible in conversation
