Is it possible to get out of the FZ?

-Rewind to 2005

-Im 15 years old in HS

-Cute as fuk girl next to me in class

-We hit it off

-She has a boyfriend, so we become friends

-We go to different colleges

-Keep in touch, but never see each other for 4.5 years. During this time she had a couple BFs

-Fastforward to now: we are 23. meeting up for drinks Thurs

-She just broke up with her bf of 1.5 to 2 years

-Is there ANY way I can hook up? Will be tough as fuk. She talks to me about her boyfriend and chit. Any ideas, or too grandeur to even think about?

 

Just do it. Ask her out and tell her how you feel.

 

Being able to cross over from the "friend zone" is what separates the men from the boys.

Yes, it can be done. It will take a lot of work, and a little bit of alcohol.

But you can do it.

 

So, just get her tipsy and flirt/be touchy?

 

To the OP - If I may, I can't help but wonder... Do you respect this girl? I ask this question because you seem NOT to be taking into consideration the fact(the info that YOU provided in your initial post yourself) that she JUST came out of a long term relationship, and it sounds like she's still going through the "mourning period" right now. I for one don't feel that whether or not you can get out of the "friend zone" would make much difference in this case(mind you, I don't even get that whole "zoning" concept, to me that's just a load of BS). And the following is the reason why I feel that way.

Right now she trust you as her friend, and that's also why she's been confiding the matters in regards to her breakup and boyfriend in you. Meanwhile, you are willing to get her under the influence of alcohol and "flirt/be touchy" with her? That's the absolute LAST thing she needs in my opinion. It does NOT sound to me like you respect her current position as someone fresh out of a long term relationship. Let her go through her "mourning period" properly. Let her cry about it because, if she just came out of a relationship, then she needs to right now. Give her all the time she needs to get over the breakup. But please, don't lure her into some sort of rebound hookup, even if that's not your intention. I apologize if I sound a bit harsh here, but I'm just telling you like I see it. And this is what it looks like from my end.

Have a drink with her, and be a good friend to her. Be there for her, and listen to her complain. Make her laugh, and lend her a shoulder if she ever needs one to cry on. When it's time to go home, give her a supportive hug and see her off. Because I personally think that's the kind of person she needs in you right now.

All the best!

 

Yep. Start acting exactly like the guy she was with for the past year or so. Resist every urge to be sensitive, nice and supportive. That's not who she wants to be having sex with. The pattern is set and you'd be vain and arrogant to think that you can change the type of fellow she's attracted to. You have the advantage, because you have the info. You've heard her talk about her last boyfriend. If all you want is a chance to hook up with her that's what you need to do. However, if you value the relationship you currently have with her, you don't need to do anything but be yourself.

 

I know what you mean, man. I have been thinking this all day.

I will flirt, but not take it too far. Who knows, she may not even bring her bf up.

 

i don't know. if you hadn't kept in touch, you'd have a decent chance, but the contact, even if not in person, has probably been enough to keep you in the friend portion of her brain.

but yeah, just coming out of a breakup is the only time you could possibly get together with most women, because most women are afraid to stay single for more than a couple weeks and will find someone else as soon as possible. so you should probably go for it while you still can.

 

A_T is right. And dude, don't even flirt. Either it works out or it doesn't.

 

If I'm still bringing up my ex, of have just gotten out of a relationship, your chances of getting with me (and women like me) are absolutely zero.. I've been out of a relationship for 4 months now, have have 3 guys try to ask me out and I have turned all of them down...

 

Well, what hapened?

 

and how is it supposed to work out if he doesn't make any indication that he's even interested?

 

lol won't get you laid... ever.

Sad.. calculated, but oddly more successful 10 times out of 10 over Alt. Thinker's advice.

Let's look at what traits you told him to avoid btw.

And this is why vaginas all suck. Y'all are just ass-backwards insane. You reward misogyny and fucking discredit DOING THE RIGHT THING.

Do people ever civilly meet & hook up these days? Why do we have to con each other? I guess you reap what you sow. Women have ruined dating, imo.
Sure guys obsess over physical beauty, but at least we try to end the bullshit there.

 

How about now?...

Now?



Ok, well what about now?

hehe
:daisy:

 

Exactly. Unlike some people, I'm not trying to get laid. That's not my goal. My goal is to be united with someone I love and care about enough to the point where I won't regret losing my virginity to her. That's what matters to me.

Allow me to point out that I did NOT say what I said so the OP would be successful. In my post, I spoke of honour and respect. I personally felt that the girl was not ready to hook up with a new guy just yet, and also that she trusted the OP as a friend, so I said all that stuff I said in my post. She's in a vulnerable state right now, and the last thing she needs is someone trying to take advantage of that. I believe Logan gets it, and seizedbyanger, a FEMALE, confirms it(thanks both of you, by the way).

This is what seized said:

The above is the voice of a WOMAN, and I trust there are quite many more women out there who feel the same way she does. It weighs far heavier than anything I might say in regards to this matter as far as I'm concerned.

 

rule #1 is to never take dating advice from women..

 

Rule #2 is never to take it from men either.

 

Yeah, yeah.....

We should fuck some time, and go from there.

 

IMO all this speculation/ ways of going about it is very over the top. If she wants to hook up with you and you want it too you will, if she doesen't then you wont't. Throw it out there and the worst that can happen is you get shot down...

 

Okay I'm not trying to sound like a bitch here, but this is the clearest way to put it:

I'm curious about your intentions - do you want to start a relationship with her, or just "hook up" the one time? If it's the former, don't rush into it. If it's the latter, that's a total jackass move and you're clearly taking advantage of her. You can go ahead and flirt, but if there's any indication that she's not ready for another guy, you need to back off and be supportive.

Guys always say girls are the complicated ones, but I've heard of so many instances like this one where the guy is a game-playing manipulator. It sounds like your ultimate goal here is sex, and you're willing to throw away a friendship, and possibly make her resent you, to get your way. (That's not meant as a personal insult, I just wish more men would develop some kind of emotion and sympathy.)