My dad is driving me crazy

Well, here's some back story. We live on a farm, he works full time and works on the farm on the weekends wiht me, my younger brother and my uncle. When he was younger, he could do it all (so he says). He would come home every day after work and work till dark, and thats all he ever did. work work work.

Well, here's where I come in. I'm a full time student, I gig with my band on the weekends, and I have a girlfriend, and I work on the farm also. It's all I can do to have free time.

Anyways, it just seems like between everything I do at the house, and the grades I makes in school, He is still not happy. Evidently, no one does anything to make him happy, no one loves him, (he actually says all that) and he's the only one that gets things done.

I love my dad very much, and so does the rest of my family, but it's getting to the point where he's pushing EVERYONE away. We are ALL trying to make him happy by doing everything we can that he complains about, but it's never enough! He even gets frustrated if I go out late with my girlfriend. It's wearing on our relationship because I can't leave my house until the afternoon because my dad will get pissed because I haven't done any work.

I need to quit. Somebody, please, tell me what I need to do? Is everyone elses dad like this? I'm almost 21 for god's sake, and he treats me like my 9 year old brother. Help.

 

Sounds Like It's High Time The Family Had A

"Round The Table Chat"....



Cheers Glen.

 

Thats the problem! Everytime I've ever brought it up, he just so "Ok Sorry" and walks off and pouts, like a child.

 

It seems like he is under a lot of stress. just be the best son you can be. You never know when he might die, to be perfectly honest. we don't always get to live under ideal circumstances. try to put yourself in his shoes. and if it gets so bad that you can't take it, then move out. you are 20 after all.

 

story of my life, cept hes gotten older now and we've moved from the farm.
he seems much more calm at his old age, but still kind of the same way lol ill be moving out soon though im glad that we've finally started getting along though.

 

My relationship with my mom has improved immensely since I moved out. I think that's pretty typical. Maybe you should consider the possibility of a different living situation. your dad might not be happy about it but it sounds like he's unhappy about a lot of things anyway. just consider it. what would be the pros and cons? If you move out, would you still be helping on the farm? Examine your intentions.

 

we can't give you opinions . we know only your side of story . the other ,your dad side . it is your duty to find out . go and talk him . and you are 21 and still at school . you should be in college or university you lazy boy . if you don't finish school you will be a worker from morning to late night , like your dad .

 

Andrew brings up a good point, why aren't you in college or Uni?

For the time being I think if you want to live under your father's roof, you need to take some of the responsibility and share the load.

Peace
-Flowermama

 

Oh good lord.

I am in College. I'm going to a community college at the moment to get my associates degree before I transfer to a university. thats the only reason I'm still at home. I'm just tryin to save them some cash.

I am not yet 21. I turned 20 in august, so I'll be in my third year of college when I turn 21. I do try and help my dad out as much as I can, as in I always work around the farm in my free time. I'm not a lazy, no good, person like most people my age. I do everything he asks me to do, I never ask for money, and I never initiate any conflict.

Need any more info?

 

^^interesting how you say it's saving THEM money. why is it your parents' job to pay for your schooling/place to live while you're going to school?

your dad sounds a lot like mine to be honest.

 

I never said it was their job. They wouldn't let me pay for my college if I tried. For one, I have no job. With as much as I have to do on the farm, I hardley have time. I've tried for years to get one, but my dad is comepltly against it. he wants me to focus on school.

Lordy, I feel like I'm just digging a hole in this thread.

 

Soo..your dad is paying for your college and university, you stay at his place rent free, you don't need to have an outside job because your dad wants you focus on school, and he just wants you to help around the farm?

Time to count your blessings brother, and be thankful for what you have.
All of the kids in my family had to pay for college, I worked two part-time jobs while in (full-time) school, my sibs did the same.

You seem to be getting by with a pretty sweet deal, too bad you can't appreciate it.


Peace,
-Flowermama

 

i agree with the above comment, but i also think we are sorta missing his point.

i'm sure he appreciates all the help from his dad, and understands that he has to help on the farm, but he doesn't understand why his dad has to pout that no one is doing enough work, no one loves him, etc. does he constantly mention how much he's sacrificed for your family? that was a big one for my dad.

 

I do appreciate everything! Lord have mercy people. Y'all don't know how thankful I am that my parents do all that they do for me, and I don't mind one bit working on the farm. I actually love it. I plan on continuing it, which is a big reason why I've stayed home and not went off to college.

But in dicusssing all the above (calling me ungrateful, etc.), we've deviated from my original topic.

It just seems, no matter how much I do around here, it's never enough. And I'm not the only one at "fault". my mom is constantly badgered about how the house is not clean, dishes aren't washed and clothes aren't washed. I usually try and do this on my fridays, as well as work outside. My moms not able to do these things because my dad has to have her attached to his hip. she has to go everywhere he does.

 

I have not once complained about what is expected of me from my parents. I do everything they want me to do, no questions asked. It is not your place to judge me, saying Im unappreciative of what I have.

 

Your dad is a clever and good man , who learn from university of street one thing . life is hard , but when you have people that you love, it worth being hard . now it is time you love your dad and RESPECT HIM . HE is working for his family . go to school boy . get good grates and you will work half hours of your dad with twice or more money . so you could have more time with your family you will create one day . study hard and be patient . your dad don't have that chance . he missed that chance .
your story is like mine . my dad always helped . now i help my dad . the money pension today is idiot , i have become successful what i studied and earning great money . and i am very young . my dad never told me well done or i am proud of you . he just look at me and smile me . probably telling to himself . my son worth it . be a man you child . you are 21 . act like a men .

 

Yep, that's a dad...

My dad worked me to the bone until the day I moved out. He still does actually lol

 

I'm glad you knew my dad when he was my age. oh wait..... you didn't.

Ok, let me correct a few things here. My dad went to college, and did the same thing that I did. He worked on the farm, while his parents paid for him to get his education. He, like me, did not go to school with a job and he also went to a community college to save his parents moeny. He makes good money, and is working for a great company. He had the same chance as I did. And let me reitterate that I am not ungrateful towards my dad, or my parents. I never said I was.I do everything I am able to do and he is the ungrateful one. He's never happy wiht what I do for him, becaus ethere is always more, which I end up doing also.

I do love my dad, very much, and I respect him, and I don't need you tell me how his or my life has turned out.

 

It sounds like you have the "classic" Dad. My Dad's never happy either, he says all of the same things yours does.

This is why I'm never having kids or a family.

 

did you even read my post #13?