Give advice for those in hard times

For those of you going through a ton of shit:

All in the past few months my girlfriend cheated on me, I had really nasty and ugly argument with my best friend, the next day after that I got jumped at a bar by some gang for no reason (still have a scar on my eyebrow), I went to my mom and dad for advice on how to get through what I thought was a tough time.

The same best friend I fought with got a DUI (drinking and driving) charge and lost her car and licence, we became friends again. Last week my mom was rushed to the emergency room out of the blue. The doctors said it was probably dehydration or exhaustion, she stayed the night just to be safe. On the way to the hospital while I was on the highway with my friend I got a call from my dad, he told me to pull over. It turned out my mom had a brain aneurysm and had just suffered from a catastrophic one again as I was on my way there. My dad told me she was brain dead, a vegetable, and in a deep coma.

They sent her to another hospital in hopes of any possible recovery, after saying there is a possibility the doctors tried one last procedure. In limbo for a number of hours they told us she was not going to recover. I have the image of my mom being kept alive by machines burned into my memory. I kissed her on the head and said my goodbye. We pulled the plug as my mom requested if she were ever in that state. I no longer have a mother, the woman that brought me into the world is physically gone. I have 3 older brothers and my dad.

The day of the funeral I was dropping my friend off at home afterward and got a speeding ticket, the first on my record ever. When I think nothing can go worse, it does.

How do you keep going after all of this? How do you stay strong?
Remember time heals everything, and laughter is the best medicine. Never lose your sense of humor and you will never lose your strength.

Find out what makes you strong, share it with others in hard times.

What slows you down? What keeps you going?

 

My condolences for the loss of your mom, that a tough thing to go through for anybody. Going through tough times is a big part of the maturation process and goes a long way in molding a person. When I hit rough patches in life, and I've had quit a few, I try to remember the people and things I love and how much fun life can actually be. Like you said never lose your sense of humor and remember life is what you make of it.

 

I'm feeling you. I lost my grandfather 10 years ago the same way you lost your mom. My grandmother died from cancer two years ago, shortly after I broke up with my selfish ass psychopathic girlfriend who said she felt neglected because I was spending too much time with my terminally ill grandmother. I lost my dad last year and less than half a year later my mom "coded" just as she was about to be released from the hospital with congestive heart failure. Seems like I spent August and September living in a ICU waiting room. She's home and still recovering from a second heart surgery. It's been a very rough couple of years and it has taken it's toll on me physically and emotionally.

What slows me down? The realization that many of the people I considered to me my closest friends had little use for me when I wasn't available to entertain them or to contribute to the mythical bubble of happiness and carelessness that they live in. What keeps me going? Faith. You can take whatever you want from that word. Also the undeniable confidence I've gained in knowing that I weathered these storms to a large extent, on my own. That I was the pillar of strength to my family - a promise I made to my grandfather on his death bed. Certainly one of the few promises I've been able to keep, even to myself. A once close friend of mine, whose intentions I still question, kept trying to lure me into taking little vacations from my responsibility. He kept saying "You should come over and take your mind off it". I kept thinking "what a strange notion". As if it was possible to just forget that chaos and heartbreak that was going all around me, even for a short time. I never could make him understand that I needed to be eyeball deep in it, that these situations demanded my full attention. To him, it must have seemed like a burden. But to me, it was my duty, my obligation. Now I understand that this is the difference between a selfish person and a selfless person. Once I understood this, I came to realize that many of the people I thought of as "dear friends" in my life were petty and selfish, and that they were draining me, using me, for their own fulfillment.

 

losing a parent, especially when you are young, can be really tough. my condolences to anyone who has had to go through this.

one thing that might help is to consider that you are lucky to have had a mom that you cared about so much. a lot of people have bad parents and don't really have any relationship to them. having parents that have earned your respect and trust enough that you would seek their advice is kinda special. as much as it must hurt to lose your mom, you also had a special gift in how much you loved her and she loved you back.

if there is one gift that you could give your mom, if there is one thing that she would have asked from you before she died, I bet that she would have wanted you to be happy, to try to make the best out of your life that you can. I think that's the best way to honor the gift of life that she gave you.

to take life as you find it, and to be determined to make the best out of it that you can for yourself and for others is something heroic. it's a hard path to walk, but you also rise up to the full dignity of your humanity by walking it.

the pain that you are experiencing can help you forge a stronger bond with those that you love. sharing the hard times can make relationships really close and strong.

 

"When everything seems to be going against you, always remember that even the greatest airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.". -Henry Ford

It is in times of adversity that we find out what we are really made of. Our greatest triumphs occur during these times of great adversity.

 

It seems to be an agreement between people, myself included that the best way to deal with hardship is to rise up out of it. I'm the youngest of 4 boys, and my mom on multiple occasions made me promise that if anything were to ever happen to her that we would stick together as a family. I rose up and I am taking the responsibility to keep my promise to her. It is very strange being the youngest and taking over the position of being the family hub, none of us were that close to each other except through my mother.

It is not a burden, it's a blessing that my family was glues together by such a caring mother. I wouldn't trade the 23 years I had with her for anything and anyone in a similar situation, or can even apply their troubles to what I have experienced always remember life isn't supposed to be easy it's supposed to be a struggle to get the reward of self satisfaction.

I hope anyone feeling down can pick themselves up and keep fighting.. I do it because I know my mom would have wanted me to.

 

we all came alive to have our fight . do you give up or fight ? your mum gave you a life . don't waste it . MAKE HER PROUD .