Girl I'm talking to is so "hot and cold" with me.

Okay, so I need to give some background here with this girl and my previous dating life. It has not been too great lol. 4 out of 5 girls I had been seeing in the last year have made out with other guys right in front of me at parties. With that being said, I can get trust issues if I don't know a person well enough, but if I know them well, I don't.

Now this past summer a friend of mine (8 years) and I kissed for the first time. We have been doing this casually for almost a year now off and on. I had seen other girls while still hanging with her just cause I figured she wasn't into me.

About 2 months ago, I lost my virginity (I'm 22). I guess it's kind of weird for a 22 year old to be a virgin, but I didn't really focus a lot of my time on talking to women romantically in the past. Well, the girl I lost my V-card to kinda burned me hard when I saw her kiss another guy at a party that she had invited me to. We weren't official, but I felt like it was inappropriate and confronted her about it. She went on to say I'm "too clingy" or something.. I was kinda bummed out, but we remained friends.

A few days later, my friend told the girl who I kissed last summer that I had been having sex with that other girl. Immediately she wanted to see me and "hang out".. Well, we hungout and we had sex. It was a great time and she asked me to be her boyfriend. I said yes, and I was really happy for the moment.

Then the next day, she told me she "wasn't sure" about dating. She did ask me to be her boyfriend during sex, so maybe it was just an excitement thing? We've had sex a few times since, but she gets really hot and cold. One moment she'll be all over me, and the next moment she won't even want to hold my hand. I really want to date her, but I think she's afraid I might cheat or something? If I could have this girl be my partner, I wouldn't even look at other girls anymore lol.

Anyways, just looking for a female opinion.. Or looking for guys who have experienced what I'm going through. Right now my mentality is "be patient and let the pieces fall where they may", but at the same time I'm kinda paranoid of being "friend-zoned" cause I really do love this girl. I mean, if things weren't to work out, I'd surely be heartbroken but still remain in good terms with her. I just don't want this to turn into a "who can care less" competition as a lot of dating does.

 

Ask her about this to see why she's been hot and cold with you, and tell her you are not afraid of commitment if that is what has been putting doubts in her head about the relationship.

It also could be she's afraid to lose you as a friend too.

It could be a number of things so again just talk to her. You're both adults right?

 

Some girls feel the need to be in a relationship when they start having sex.
I've heard this a lot "she said she'd have sex with me but I had to be her boyfriend".
Then sometimes a relationship sounds good but then it takes a toll on your personal life and if you enjoy being alone, the constant phone calls and barrage of messages are gonna scare you out of the relationship.
Then there's girls that are just... Weird.
How old are they anyway? Most relationships around teenage/early twenties are just friendships, they barely work from what I've seen.

 

It sounds to me like she's interested and wants you to make a move (I mean emotionally, obviously you've already made a physical one). Lots of girls this age are skeptical about men using lines, so if you want to be straight with her about your feelings, make it believable and know that it may take some time for her to fully trust you with HER feelings. You've got to find a balance between going out on a limb and bracing yourself for a potential rejection.

 

sounds like all she cares about is sex, and since youve been friends for so long shes probably fantasized about having sex with you, but shes been sleeping around with other guys and wanted to try who, she sounds confused... have a real talk with her, see what she actually wants and dont make her feel bad if she just wants to sleep around and experiment

 

I know it may sound naive saying this, but I know for a fact she hasn't really slept around. She only hangs out with our group of friends for the most part, and she's only had 5 sex partners. I wanna have a talk with her, but don't want it to be too much too soon. I really want her to be with me, but feel as though putting pressure on the label of "boyfriend/girlfriend" will just kill it for her. I was thinking maybe I should wait until she's ready, but she might not have the confidence to say something and might just start seeing someone else. We'll see what happens I suppose.

 

and good luck getting her! and if not hopefully you dont ruin the friendship!
always let us know how its going

 

are you too clingy? the girl only became interested in you because you had sex with someone else, then once you had sex with her she lost interest. women are like that, they only want you if they think you don't want them. if you show interest, you're in the friend zone.

 

Hey hey hey now not all women are like that...just most of us.

Seriously, you seem very sweet for putting so much time and effort into this one girl. If she doesn't appreciate that, find someone else who will. I know, easier said than done, but I'm sure you won't have a problem finding someone worthwhile.

 

It's not going to work, just stop talking to her and wait for someone else to come along.

Sure, it's easier to just go back every time, but you'll just end up getting hurt.

 

I wouldn't say so. We don't talk everyday and things like that. If I talk to her, it's usually within a short 5-10 minute period once during the day. I've asked a few female friends if I'm being too clingy and they all told me if anything I was being too aloof. Girls don't give the best advice a lot of the time though haha

 

LOL> Fucking bitches.

lol again. Should've said no and pretended to not be interested and slept with other girls so then she knows how much of a nice and honest guy you are, apparently. :ack2::ack2: