I avoid sex with my grilfriend....

Hi, I'm new to this forum, and reall new to talking about my sex life out in the open, but I figured this would be my best option. So, just so you guys can get some background, I'm a 20 year old business student, and a guy. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now, and our sex life started early, probably the 2nd week in. Anyways, we started out doin it pretty often until my parents found a box of condoms that I had not thrown away. Well, that didn't really stop us, but it did slow us down. We get toowards her period, and where she hadn't had sex in over a year, she had just quit keeping track of her period. It did come, but ever since then, I stress at the end of every month. She is not on birth control, but we do use condoms when we have sex. Now, I try and avoid doing it at my house at all costs, and it always seems like when we do have time, something for me always comes up. We try and get around to doing it atleast once a week.

shew, long winded post. Anyways, can anyone help me out to not be so afraid/nervous about doing it?

 

Typically people don't have sex with their grillfriends anyway.. they just BBQ with 'em.
Nothing unusual about that.

 

have you talked to her about taking birth control?

 

I have actually. She's very skiddish about things like that, and I honestly don't quite understand why. She has never even been to a OBGYN. =/

The thing is, is that I want to do it, but I want to make sure we have enough time, and no one is going to catch us or walk in on us. And I would feel so much better if she were on birth control, but shes been extremly stubbern on the issue. Shes actually pissed at me now, because we had planned to do it today.

 

If shes 20 (assuming that because you are) and she's never been to a gyno, I'm sorry but that's fucked up.. even if she doesn't have health insurance there are still places that will see you for cheap.. like $50.. yes I understand that some women don't like birth control because of the hormones but there are hormone free birth controls, like paraguard.. regardless... get her to a gyno, that's nasty!

 

Shes afraid of it! she doesn't want anyone messing around down there, besides me. She hates doctors. And yes she is 20, and she knows she's gonna have to go evenetually.

 

She needs to go now.

 

It's really not all that bad, all they do is swab around in there.. my gyno is a thick-accented russian lady with a deeper voice and she sounds all mean and rough but she's the nicest lady ever, calls me her little redhead lol.

But seriously, whether she wants someone messing around down there or not she needs to know, she could have things wrong with her that she doesn't know. Were you her only sexual partner? I had a partner give me HPV and I didn't know it for years, because I didn't know I never got it treated and now I have precancerous cervical cells as a result of it.

It's also nice to just go get checked out! Like seriously, it's not that bad.. she needs to go asap. There is no reason for a woman to be 20 years old and having never been to a gyno in first and second world countries...

 

no, I'm her 2nd, but her and her last never did a whole lot. I think that was the end of their relationship actually.

 

Yeah I've only been with two guys and the first guy didn't know he had it, we didn't do much either since we were in high school.

I'm just saying, you never know.. you don't have to 'do a whole lot' you just need to do it one time to get all kinds of nastiness... just have her get herself checked out, like yesterday, and avoid it like the plague otherwise. It's really not healthy for either of you

 

Either way she needs to grow up. Lets putt it this way do you want to get something from her because she doesn't want to go?

 

Exactly.. she needs to grow up, no offense. If shes afraid of doctors poking around down there for less than 3 minutes, what's she gonna do if she eventually gets pregnant and has doctors poking around down there while shes in labor for 12-36 hours? Or if she gets cancer and has doctors poking around down there once every 4-6 months like I do? She's not handling the situation maturely at all and that speaks volumes for someone who won't do something that affects others because they're a little afraid of someone professional seeing or poking their vagina. It's a body part just like any other and needs to be checked up on.

 

were they used?

you're 20, you're allowed to have sex. your parents just have to learn to accept it.


and yeah, get her checked out.

 

Well, it was a pack of 3, and 2 were gone, and one was ripped open without the condom inside. They were from my last relationship though, so as of right now they don't think me and my current girlfriend have moved that far yet. And where I still live at home, and I'm still in college, They still have say so over shit, which I hate.

 

Is your girlfriend in college? Most colleges and universities have health clinics for the students.


If she believes she is mature enough to be having sex, then she needs to put on her big girl panties and go see a doctor. It is irresponsible of her to not be in control of her own sexual health and well being. No woman really likes going, but we do it anyways.


You aren't being incredibly responsible either if you're having sex with a woman who has never been to a gyno, and isn't in a hurry to go to one. STI's aren't the only thing(s) to worry about. Protecting yourself goes beyond a putting on a condom.

Sex should be fun, and it is when both partners take an active role in keeping it safe. It stops being fun when you are worrying about missed periods, getting caught (although for some people that's an added thrill) or your partner refusing to go to the doctor.


If she doesn't want to be on the pill, then she needs to find another method of birth control, OR you need to decide exactly how much you trust a condom if she refuses. I am not saying force her to get on birth control, because it is entirely her choice if she wants to or not....and...it is also your choice to be with a woman who is putting all of the responsibility of not getting pregnant, or STI's in your hands...or not.


You are BOTH having sex, and BOTH of you should be using protection to prevent STI's, unwanted pregnancies, etc.

JMO

 

Hmm... when I was 20, I was in the military, which is all about random health checks for no reason, but they said I didn't have to have any sort of woman exam until I was older or having sex with multiple partners even though I was receiving birth control. Still haven't ever gone, but I'm considering doing it soon.

 

if not having sex ended her last relationship, and she's pissed at you because you won't fuck her...then, she's a horny little snatch. if i were you, i'd cut her off from the 'd' until she got on birth control... or you could even get her to use a diaphragm. she needs to stop being so selfish. and as far as the obgyn issue, i completely agree with the previous posts. no female enjoys seeing a gyno but, it has to be done. she needs to take care of herself. she just sounds like a very selfish person.

 

don't put so much pressure on making it happen. just start out with cuddling and see where things go. the more pressure you put on actually having sex, the harder its going to be to actually do it.

some women don't feel comfortable taking birth control pills, but there are other alternatives like female condoms or IUDs but this would require her to see a gyno. its for her own safety anyway. cervical cancer kills thousands of women every year but it doesn't have to because its the easiest cancer to cure, but it requires yearly check ups with her doctor.

getting caught in the act is quite embarrassing especially at your age and if your parents don't approve of you having sexual relationships. maybe you two can go out and rent a hotel for some privacy??

 

if either of you have a car, go out and bang in the car in a secluded parking lot or something...

be creative, you dont have to be in a bed to have sex!

 

and on the other hand, what a bitch. a selfish one at that. tell her you wont be having sex until she goes to see a gyno. simple as that. if she isnt responsible enough to be checked out, then dont take the risk of having sex with her. if she still doesnt think its any big deal, get her over to the computer and show her all the shit we are saying. maybe she will take it seriously then.