Hi All , I am 26 and I did sex first time today in life with a stranger girl ( not hooker). I used protection, so please dont lecture me on that. Why stranger ? well..I am not so good looking...started balding on my scalp even though I am 26..anyways.. I dont have GF and this was first time I saw a woman full naked. My experience was TERRIBLE. Before we gonna do it, my heart was racing at pulse of 200 bps. When she came in , I just kissed on cheeks and realized that she smelled awful. Still I wanted to go ahead. We did little foreplay and my penis was tight. It becomes quite thick when it erects. She was worried a bit too much even though I haven't started humping yet and constantly asking to do it slow. When I tried to put it inside her. just head , not even head, tip of penis went in couple of times only and I had lot of trouble putting inside her. Plus she smelled awful..OMG...very awful. So we tried another position again only tip. Tried another position , this time nothing at all. My penis was too big for her vagina. When she tried to blow me , I busted and did not even realize it. She went away. What going wrong with me ? then I tried to saw porn and didn't get erection for more than 10 minutes. When I was with her, I lost erection couple of time...what is wrong with me ? What shall I do for future sex life ? Please dont make jokes and make absolutely no reference to my family. I am a qualified engineer and do some top notch job. Probably spent lot of time for studying when was in college. Please advise
keep trying. the first time is bound to suck, especially if it's with a stinker. nerves and stench are probably why you had a hard time staying hard, recent nut-busting delayed your erection with the after-porn. what does your family have to do with anything?
Thanks ! this helps ! I mentioned family because some people unnecessary make nonsense comments about family members..
Age 26 is a little old to have your FIRST TIME. But it is never great the first time, so just accept that and try to get better. Perhaps if you have some feelings for the person it will help. Here is what you need to do: 1. Ask the female on a date - take her to a movie, dinner, wine, then back to a private place, where you will not be interrupted. 2. Have the room dimly lit, with a comfortable bed or sofa, and start slowly, mostly talk, then start exploring each other sexually. 3. When you are ready for intercourse, after you have kissed and done a good amount of foreplay, make sure you use a lubricated condom, or if there is no chance of her getting pregnant, such as if she is using birth control, make sure your penis is well lubricated. 4. Learn the positions of intercourse, and start with the one you like, usually missionary. 5. Try not to finish early and respect her needs as well as yours. Having sex is like playing a sport; you usually are not very good at it until you get some instruction and practice. In many cultures, instruction is impossible to get (and I suspect yours is one of those), and practice without marriage is also difficult. A forum like this one is good in that it provides an outlet for people who have no other way to find out about the mysteries of sex until it is too late.
Maybe being an engineer is your problem. You were trying to do this like you had a contract to build a bridge and were going over budget and approaching a deadline. So many anxieties, I am surprised you did as well as you did. My first time was with a girl I was crazy in love with. It was very exciting, but it was just the final step in a long process of showing one another how much we loved each other. We made love deep into the night, fell asleep in each others arms and woke up to do it again. Her love boosted my confidence tremendously. I did not have to make every woman think I was good looking. She thought so and was all I cared about. I couldn't take my eyes off her she was so beautiful to me and she knew that too. We had a life together outside of the bedroom too. We took long walks, played in the snow, picked spring flowers, when the weather turned warm, we'd chase each other naked in the woods and make love in a pile of warm leaves deep in the forest or find some other secret place to share the night. Her body smelled like sweet apple blossoms to me and her intimate places were spicy musk. I couldn't get her fragrance off my mind all day, waiting until the night when we could be together again. You have got a great future ahead of you as long as you learn to accept yourself and realize that your love won't suit everyone but it doesn't have to. When you meet the right one, love is not tense, is not a struggle, you just fall into each other's arms and it comes natural.
go post this in one of those threads where everyone is telling the 25-year-old virgin not to have sex because it has to be special and prostitutes are evil and it will definitely happen when it's supposed to and all that bullshit.
A bar of soap and a hot shower certainly would have improved the experience; not sure if it would have fixed our friend's self-image. That takes time and experience. Not everyone handles first-time situations with finesse. And I am not just talking sex. This was first time seeing total nudity, first time sex, first time with that particular person who was a stranger, etc... "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" FDR
Some people believe that sex should wait for marriage, and that between two marriage partners they will learn how to have good sex. Not me... As they say, "practice makes perfect". In many cultures, the first sexual experience happens in the late teens, and many men and women have had a number of sexual partners by the time they get married. This enables them to pick their life partner based on how they fit together, sexually, intellectually, culturally, and otherwise. This leads to a happy, fulfilling relationship. The fact that both partners are not "virgins" is not important to them or their culture. In Egypt, and other places, men inspect women to make sure they are still virgins. This is a perverted view of human sexuality and evidence of a male-dominated culture where women are kept subservient. 90% of women in Egypt have their clitorises cut off to keep them docile, child-bearing creatures and to feed their husbands fears about their own sexual attractiveness to women. But times are changing, in Egypt and elsewhere, and women, even those still wearing burkas and hajibs, are rising up and throwing off male domination.
If she stinks... I would lose it too..... Hey Dreamcloud.... I finally found my girlfriends G spot.... it was in her sister : - ) FKLOVER....don't worry about it, it will get better with time
I like the idea of waiting for marriage, but like a lot of people, what I idealize and what I actually do are two different things. I guess if she got pregnant, we'd have settled down together and had a wedding, but that's because I loved her. In other circumstances, people choose to end the pregnancy, or put the baby up for adoption, have grandma raise it, or the girl raises the baby and Dad may or may not be involved in his kids life. I believe that being good at sex with one person does not guarantee being good at it with someone else. I do believe that having a girlfriend can draw a shy guy out of his shell. To some extent the physical intimacy can boost your confidence and help you be more outgoing, but you can spend too much time having sex when it is new to you and later it becomes more balanced, a part of getting to know her, but you know her in other ways as well as her body, the whole person. I was still very selfish with her and like many, I learned as I got older to think about what the other person wants in addition to my own needs. Communication skills improve too. I am glad that any women I meet in the future won't have to endure the learning curve that I had with my first lover.
Garden guy - you said it well - "learning curve". No way the first time you have sex it will be great. I was lucky, when as a 19 year old, I spent a week with an "older" (28 year old) woman, who taught me everything I ever needed to know about sex, and gently critiqued my performance. I was her student and she was my teacher, and I went from a D- to a B+ by the time we parted. So ever since, I have tried to pass on my sexual knowledge to young people who need and ask for help in getting past the initial mysteries of sex. Many of my "students", after initial embarrassment discussing such personal matters with a stranger, have benefitted a lot from the tutorials, and have gone on to having successful sex lives. Some have even named their boys after me. Check out my Premature Ejaculation thread in the Sexual Health forum...
If you were all elbows and awkward and shy, women will look back on that and laugh. As long as you outgrow it, they won't hold it against you. In fact, the women who laugh at me are the best lovers. That's the ultimate compliment! If they look like you, that's cool too.
The first time is bound to be the most inexperienced time & as a result is obviously going to have all your nerves on edge. Your mind is racing with thoughts of logic of how it should go, and then discovering that none of what you thought is, in fact, the case. For instance, it may seem ridiculous now - even comical, but I remember worrying about whether my penis would be able to find the right route once in the vagina. After all, I was aware that there was one passageway to the womb & another to the bladder, but couldn't figure how I could determine which. Once I had made my initial penetration, I recall that the thoughts were flooding through my head that I was no longer a virgin & held the maximum thrust as long as I possibly could. I then knew that I had to start pumping, and that, logically, my previous experience with masturbating was nothing more than creating a vagina with my hand, and that therefore the necessary pace should be exactly the same. Needless to say, within seconds she was screaming at me to "Take it easy", which I did. I then adjusted all of my actions to follow her body language. At first I didn't believe it was possible to reach a climax by thrusting so slowly, but before long, I began to sense the inevitable twinges of impending orgasm & couldn't help but speed up slightly, at which point she took hold of my butt cheeks in order to control the speed a bit more. Once I had emptied my load, my main disappointment was that it was all over. I had, by now started to lose my erection and, try as I might, was unable to continue with this new found experience. Basically, it doesn't take long to discover that the best way to get the optimum satisfaction for yourself is to focus on providing whatever may be best for your partner.
