Living with boyfriend

It's going to take a while to get good at this. It can't be done in a week or two.

The first time I lived with a guy, it lasted over a year, and I never did learn how to get it right. I have no excuse for that.

Guys are not mindreaders, and they have no idea how your family used to handle things, or what the assumptions were. You're starting from scratch with all that, and everything has to be discussed and negotiated. It takes a lot of patience.

At this point in my life, I have no desire to ever live alone again. To me, all the trade-offs are 100% worth it. An empty house or apartment just isn't a home; it's only a place to sleep and keep your stuff.

 

In this day and age, it really does seem necessary to live with someone before they discuss feelings, say they are "serious" or whatever.

I am old, and even come from this "religious type" mindset where I particularly like to see ppl married - be it gay or straight. (My brother is gay and married.)

Anyway, I do feel that living with one's potential life-mate is really needed. God will give you that one, I would bet, especially if "living with someone/trying love" is your worse "sin". Remember God views sin different than us...everytime I cuss it is the same thing as Bad Stuff, or so I'm told. oh well

But I agree with living with gf or bf as the first step.

 

We've lived together for almost 10 years

I can do most of the stuff I otherwise would

I do sometimes wish I had a sanctuary, not to live separately, just a space that can be all mine with none of his stuff or mess, where I can hide the food I want to get a chance to have some of because he eats everything, just a little space of my own

 

Lol I know right?

Agreed. I'm getting the hang of it though. We're getting into a routine of doing things here, and I'm getting more comfortable with my surroundings and his (sometimes annoying) habits and behaviors. lol

And he doesn't hog my stuff as much anymore which is nice. I didn't have to sit him down for him to get the hint to back off a little. lol Now, how to get him motivated to help me with laundry more often...

 

Just paint playstation symbols over the washing machine buttons then he'll probably do it in his sleep

 

That would only work if I did Xbox buttons. lol

 

my girl does the laundry for me. love it.

 

We do the laundry together, but he was amazed when I folded all of it. He's like "You fold underwear?"

 

I only lived with a boyfriend once for 3 months. Our relationship fell apart pretty quickly after we moved in together, but it was all for problems that existed before we moved in together. We actually made good roommates. We never annoyed each other in the small ways. We just had a totally flawed relationship so it didn't work out very long.

My current boyfriend and I will be moving in together soon. He's probably going to annoy me in the small ways, but at least its possible to eventually get past that stuff.

 

These are the little things you need to talk to him about now while you are discovering it. Don't bitch at him about it because then he really won't want to listen to you. Either that or just deal with it because chances are he is dealing with things about you that annoy him. My old lady and I have been together for almost 8 years now (in November) and there are tons of things about her that annoy the fuck out of me! I've told her that they annoy me, but I wouldn't want to change her for the world. So I just deal with it and she deals with my bitchiness. When we get into arguments we bitch at each other sometimes we fight, but we always make sure that we both get to speak our minds and get our anger out. Then we have some awesome make up sex and tell each other sorry. That is the key to a great relationship :2thumbsup: Sorry about the paragraph, lol.

 

I know what you mean. We both do annoying things but for the most part we have a great time together.

I know sometimes we need to do things separately, so I'm hoping I make some new friends here soon. The other day I was chit chatting with a girl who works at the Walgreen's over here. People talk about Miami like it's a really scary place but not all the areas are like that. People who work at supermarkets and restaurants are a hell of a lot more friendly than they are in Hollywood where I'm from.

 

ideal would be alone. living nearby.

 

Mayqueen, thanks for the advice. We've been communicating pretty well recently we don't step on each other's toes as much; getting into the groove of living together.

We're getting our new bed tomorrow finally. We spent like two hours trying to assemble a set of drawers without a hammer. We got as far as putting the two side panels together and the bottom piece before we started calling nearby 24 hour stores to see if they carried hammers. We finally had to stop and put it aside for tomorrow. We established that hell must be sitting in an assembly line putting together drawers and screwing endless Philips heads all day every day. God, I'd hate to be a carpenter.

 

i'd love to be a carpenter. they make pretty good money for the difficulty of the job, and the feeling of looking at something you built with your own hands is really nice.

 

We finally cleaned and set up our new bed and dresser. Somehow, the dresser was FUCKING difficult to put together but the bed frame was simple as shit. I feel so at home now that everything is comfy and neat I'm a loser, so I took a picture of it for you guys.

I agree. The dresser looked so crappy in pieces but when we finally got it done (I admit, my boyfriend did most of the nailing and screwing, but it got tiring to watch while being his assistant lol) it looked really nice. He felt like such a man

 

sounds hot.

 

lol

 

In case I haven't mentioned, I moved in with my boyfriend because my mother kicked me out.

I was told by pretty much everyone that I should try and patch things up with her (even though she was the one who made up a bunch of problems she had with me, and spat them all out at me while she was drunk and kicked me out right then) so I did but the bitch wouldn't even answer the phone. She texted me telling me that I shouldn't expect anything from her and that we all need to move on. I'm not sure what that means but it sounds like she wants me to move on from needing a mother.

I wonder how many people over 30 still have contact with their mother? I guess I won't be one of those people because mine thinks I should evolve from having that need.

 

Yes, I've found that to be very true - so much so, that I've had to end relationships over it. I become quickly dissatisfied if I'm forced to give up things that I used to do, things that essentially are a part of me - like spending time alone for meditation, or playing the banjo. I find that I'm incompatible with people who don't have some kind of hobby or interest that they are passionate enough about to devote at least and hour or two each day.

 

Oh my Lord, hon. That is just awful, I am sorry to say, bless her drunk heart...but your mama is wrong wrong wrong.

My son will be still be having a lot to do with his mother, I feel - if I'm still breathing in about 3 years when he is over 30. lol But I am glad for you that you got out of that awful relationship...living with what was apparently an abusive relationship.

A GOOD mother (imho) will always take you in, and you always have a place there...has been my experience. Basically being "kicked out" is incomprehensible to me to do to one's child. But that is just me.

With you and your boyfriend basically building this bedroom furniture together, it will bond y'all a great deal, I feel. :love: