My girlfriend and I do not have sex as often as i'd like.

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 2 years, we hold a very strong bond and plan on getting married in the future. At first sex was extremely exciting, but it has died out since then. We have gone from 1-3 times a week, usually on the weekends (we have busy schedules with college) to about once every 3-4 weeks. I don't have a problem with this as much as other people would. My main concern is that 90% of the time I am the one that initiates the sex which makes me feel like i'm the only one that wants it. Anyway, i've talked to her about it and she claims she loves sex but not a lot of sex. She also told me before we started dating that she's not really into sex that much. My problem is that she has had 2 boyfriends before me (both 2-3 year relationships) that she had sex with on a regular basis (1-3 times a week). I kind of feel a bit cheated i guess, as if she has had her fun with sex at a younger age and doesn't care for it as much anymore (like i don't think its special to her like it is to me). Another thing that upsets me is that I always make her the center of attention by eating her out for extended periods of time, do positions that she enjoys the most, and don't force blow jobs on her because she doesn't like doing them or the taste of cum (all without being asked). Don't get me wrong though, we have done some extremely kinky and pleasurable shit lol. I just wanted to get these things off my chest and hear some honest opinions towards these concerns of mine. Keep in mind that my girlfriend and I have a GREAT relationship and both are extremely in love with one another, this is the woman i plan on spending the rest of my life with.

 

That is what happens after awhile

 

What a bummer :/

 

Sike nah try talking to her about the situation

 

It does happen but you can get it back.

Maybe it is just stress, is there a lot on her mind? Maybe you are struck in a rut.

Sex every saturday, same time, same positions etc etc. try and be spontaneous

 

Is she on the pill? That can really ruin a woman's libido.
Is she under a lot of stress? That's a mood-killer too.
Does she exercise regularly? It's a nice libido boost.

I recommend you start doing a physical activity together. Make sure it elevates a heart rate, that she participates and sees you exercising. We(women) like to see our guys in action.

When you have time take her on holiday. Just go to some new place where you can relax and spend time together away from stress and obligations. Make sure you do something exciting and spend some time outdoors.

Aerobic exercise, a bit of adrenaline rush, time together, no pill and less stress - without a doubt a recipe for a better sex life.

 

Thank you I will definitely use some of these ideas. The only thing I wouldn't do is take her off the pill, we are not ready for a child right now and I do not want to take any chances. Iv'e had condoms break on me before.

 

Yes, she is under large amounts of stress. I realize that is a big part of it. Also she is on the pill, so that has an effect too i guess. I just want her to be horny once in a while like myself, the problem is I just don't know how to help her get her mind off the things that stress her out. Plus when we talk about her lack of sex drive she seems to be as clueless as I am, which makes her (and myself) feel even worse. Also another thing I forgot to mention is that we live in apartments with other people so that turns her and I off due to lack of privacy and embarrassment due to the bed shaking and what not. We really aren't in the best environment for sex. I just don't want this to get worse when we get married and she's stressed out from work.

 

You are incredibly sweet, and she is such a lucky girl cos you love her and ugh you are sweetness!
Yeah try talking to her but be careful how you say it hehehehe

 

Thanks, appreciate it

 

I know quite a number of women (myself included) that had the same problem and later found out it was the pill. Condoms aren't as comfortable but if you buy quality ones of the right size, are careful to check it's still whole when you finish and your girl takes the morning pill when something goes wrong, your protection should be just as good.
At least that's been my experience for the last 5 years and I share your "not taking any chances" stand .

 

You have a girlfriend and you have sex with her. Be happy you've got someone and stop thinking about sex so much.

 

Have you thought about a sex pill such as Endurnz or extenze? There are lots of the market, you can get on online or at most sex shops, even some gas stations carry them. I hope this helps.

 

I am happy I have her, and I don't "think about sex so much". I posted this because there has been a negative change in our sex lives. Sex is a very important thing in a relationship. If you can't be physical with your significant other, it can and will have a negative impact on the relationship. That is the point of this post.

 

When you talked to her, did you tell her how YOU felt and how YOU felt cheated? It sounds like to me you love her very much, and would do almost anything to make her happy... but you gotta think of yourself too.

Tell her you respect that she doesn't like a lot of sex, but that somehow she should respect that you want a little more action now and again. It's a fair to say a middle ground would be the best way to go, and if she really loves you she'll agree to it to make you happy. But I mean, how bad could more sex be? It's not like you're asking A LOT of her. Just some sweet lovin'.

Next time you bang her, give her the most passionate sex you've got to give. Show her what you want to give her every week and show her this is how you like to express your love now and again. Good luck dude

 

Thanks

 

You need to break the routine and throw in some creative things...eg she comes home and you have a picnic set up in the lounge room (better out of course, just being practical) Have a bottle of wine, nice music and a little gift like some sexy undies. Just a little thing that is budget friendly. You could make a theme night where you both get dressed up? Make a theme in bedroom. Be cunning and do something special for her and she will feel more obliged to repay your effort?

I'm a naturopath and would strongly advise your gf to find another form of contraception. The pill is very taxing on the body. It renders the woman deficient in a wide range of vitamins and minerals. It has a reasonably high risk of cancer. It can make you depressed and not interested in sex. I would not take it for anything! Horrid medicine. Get her off it. There are alternatives that are very safe. Sponge, cap, timing of month. Don't use IUD. Simply changing from the pill may be the answer.
Oh I forgot to mention the risk of stroke is high on pill. If you smoke you are at very high stroke risk. I had a lady come to me post stroke from pill (doctors told her it was the pill) She is a 30 year old, healthy non smoker!!!...Good luck.

 

Didn't you also make a thread that her pussy was too loose?

 

Yeah but thats not a huge problem, more of a side concern of mine that I figured I'd bring up. Also when I said loose, I meant like how her lips looked, not how it felt going in. Sorry for the confusion.

 

I would get an extra girlfriend to use when your current girlfriend is unavailable for your needs.