Length of time between relationships?

Every time I see or hear someone complaining that they haven't had sex in a WHOLE WEEK/THREE WEEKS/MONTH, I just can't help but laugh out loud a bit. It almost makes me want to tell them off for being immature, but then I have to take a step back and think about perspective.... but still, no matter how hard I try, I can NOT fathom how they think that period of time is a long time. I never know whether they are being serious or not. Is a week really a long time? Is a month?

I haven't had more than a friendship hug in three and a half years, so it's hard for me to wrap my brain around what they're complaining about.

What's the longest you've been without a relationship (sexual or otherwise) in your adult life? Is three and a half years all that abnormal? It seems when I say that, people look at me oddly. But... I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Maybe I'm just not meant to understand.

Okay... Done ranting.

PS. I hope starting a new thread was okay. I think there's been threads about this in the past, but I didn't want to necro-post...

 

It's a case by case basis I think.

 

Yep, its a case by case thing. Some people don't mind spending time on their own or have more friends to fill the gap.
For other people who are used to spending a lot of time with a partner it can leave more of a gap and be more depressing.
Also it can be a case of not missing what you don't have. It certainly bothers me more being single now then it did when I was 16 and had never had a girlfriend just because I know what it's like now and I miss it more.

 

Definitely depends on the circumstances. After my marriage imploded, I waited 4.5yrs to date (or otherwise - hehe). The very idea of allowing anyone within 10ft of me made me nauseous. After I ended things with the first bf after my long hiatus, I didn't wait to post a dating profile and find someone else to spend time with... like mere days. The difference being the emotional trauma from the first relationship and the emptiness felt during the second mentioned here.

I also think we need different things at different times in our lives. I'm not the "same" person I was in 2006. I'm more apt to either ask for what I need ... and be less willing to settle for less. Nice guys rule, btw.

 

YES. i generally lose any and all respect for those people the moment those words are uttered.

they should just be honest and say "i hate myself and need validated CONSTANTLY."

 

Yeah, that's why I prefaced it with "adult life", as most people have dated by then. I realize that you don't miss what you've never experienced. I think I was 17 before my first girlfriend, and didn't have any problem with that. I had never experienced having a significant other, and so it didn't bother me that it took that long for me to get one. However, it was much harder when we broke up. My next relationship lasted three years... that was my last relationship, and it was really tough to get over that one. So, I now know what I am missing; just that closeness and safeness of being with someone, even without sex, is just amazing... and it's difficult... but it's really a mindset. It's easy to progress through life without someone, if you let it be easy.

I'm not saying anything... *caugh*but,agreed*caugh*

 

Id never enter a new thing without waiting at least 6 months to a year. Short term girlfriends wait maybe a month or two at least. Take time for yurself

 

i've been in relationship for 9 months and before that courting my gf for a year .

and this is longest I've been without since I lost it at 18.


but the thread title seems to be a different direction then the actually content of the post.

though if you're in college and your dry spell is longer than three weeks you have some right to curse your bad luck. 4 weeks at university empty handed and you know you're either unlucky or underperforming.

under three weeks and whining is just arrogance.

 

Uh-oh... I might need to look at my luck... :O

Or my "performance"... whatever you mean by that.

 

Since I started having sex, I suppose I haven't been out of one, sexual or plain emotionally for longer than three months.

 

I think since about the age of 18 the longest I've been without was around a year. It's not like I would have cared had it been longer though, it just happened that way. You find someone, hook up, and either stay or go. If I had gone 3 or 4 years I'm not sure I would have cared. Maybe I would have, I don't know.