I have a 4 yr old girl and a 18 mth old girl. My 4 yr old has been acting absolutely CRAZY for about the past 2 months. I am not a fan of 'spanking' or yelling but yelling is what I have seemed to be resorting to as of late. We can't get her to lay down for her nap nor for bed. She has purplish places under eyes from where she doesn't get enough sleep. I really think if she would lay down and actually sleep she wouldn't be so ill or frustrated during the day but I have no idea what else to try to get her to lay down. I don't want her everyday to consist of her getting in trouble. Help??
Yelling WILL NOT work! My first thought is in regard to her diet. Or, she may be having issues with the attention the 18 month old is getting. Has anything in your household, other than the child's behavior, changed in the last two months? My advice: try EVERYTHING before accepting any diagnosis and medicating.
Well, a lot has actually changed. We moved into a home with my girlfriend about 7 months ago, which was big change number 1, and about 2 months ago we had to move out of that house and are living in an adams apartment behind my gf's grandmother's house. (At the time it was either that or the tent, which I opted for the latter.) Up until 7 mths ago it was just me and the kids so I know that has to be an underlying issue.. But I also think another issue could be the difference in the way I raise them and the way their extended family tries to take over. I am into natural, simple, nuturing raising and they are all about society and money and putting on a show. I have recently been looking into communal living situations such as ecovillages and communities; somewhere where there will be like minded families and invididuals in our daily lives. I have always completely agreed that it takes a village to raise children so that's kind of my train of thought...
Kids can be pretty resilient but they also like routine. Try to incorporate and keep up with little routines that she will find comforting and can depend on wherever she is. With a lot of change little ones need little rituals they can count on for security. Do some special thing(s) that are just between you and her, no matter what.
a four year old does not need a nap[/SIZE]....instead they should be in bed by 730 pm after a long day of being a four year old....maybe try cutting down on any junkfood like happy meals or sugar intake in general in canada a four year old is in school for a full day
First, I am no expert! That said, knowing only what you've posted and based on my own experience, I'd say the key may very well be the interaction of the "extended family". Kids will test authority -- they don't do it with malicious intent -- it seems just part of their nature. Too many bosses gives them the chance (again, without contrivance) to play both ends against the middle, so to speak. Kids learn very quickly in regard to cause and effect -- action and consequence. Based on my own experience, kids seem to need a routine -- so they know what to expect and develop a comfort zone of sorts. I don't mean a "stepford kids" type of scenario, but a relatively consistent daily routine. As for the resistance to nap time and bed time in particular, my granddaughter (at about 3 or 4) did not understand why the entire household didn't have the same requirements as she -- her resistance was something of a demand for equality. I can't really address the communal or "village" concept since I have absolutely no experience with either. Kids learn through imitation -- what they see and hear, so many times without understanding the long term consequences, can have a life-long impact on them. My thoughts are that our children are much too important to entrust much to others -- the values instilled in them gets them through life and are usually the same values instilled in their children -- those values are what we leave to future generations and the world.
babycenter.com By age 2, most toddlers have given up their morning nap but still need an afternoon snooze to see them through the day. About a quarter of kids stop napping altogether by the age of 3, another half between ages of 3 and 4, with the final quarter continuing to nap until they're 5 or 6.
This is what I was going to say. The solution seems simple to me. I work in a school in a class of 4-6 year olds and the 4-year-olds are the most active. I can't imagine them settling down to sleep in the middle of the day. They have a normal school day, 9-3, with regular snack and play breaks.
Thank you everyone for your input. Seeing as I have never raised a child before her I am sometimes just grasping at thin air when knowing what to do..The napping issue makes PERFECT sense. I guess I just continue to think that the same thing will work for her day in and day out when really I have to give her room to grow; i.e. growing out of naptime. As far as routine goes I try my hardest to keep them on some sort of small routine so that, as you said, they have comfortable constant to lean on. My gf is not the biggest fan of routine and whenever her family calls on us to come have dinner or help on the farm, which is literally everyday, she expects us to all drop what we are doing and go. It has been a persistant problem to which I about to stop. My kids and their wellbeing are more important then continuously making her family happy..
Good luck with developing a routine and I hope your GF will be supportive. I just wanted to add that my first two dropped their naps by 3.5yrs. Of course we are sad to see that little 'break' during the day go, but they grow out of it when they are ready!
