i'm here because i don't know what to do i'm 22 and i believe i'm going somewhere in life. i'm graduating to become a doctor next year and i run a charity group that focuses on the well being of children. i'm a loved member of the community but it's hard when you don't love yourself. i'm pretty sure i'm bi. i've never dated women or men- call me a prude if you will- but had hooked up with men and i'm definitely sure that i am attracted to both genders. all my life i've been yearning for people i can't have: i have silly crushes on other women who are clearly straight and it kills me when i think about it because at the end of the day, i am yet to accept the fact that i am bisexual. i know theres nothing wrong with bisexuality, but i have grown up in a conservative family and the values which have been embedded in my brain are there to stay. i guess i'm living a miserable life- i can't find the right man because right now (and for the greater part of last year) i have been totally infatuated with another female friend. but i can't tell her because she is straight. i am not suicidal but i am not satisfied with my life because i don't find joy in my day to day activities. i feel that i don't have anything worth living for.
Honey , you sound like most of us , theres lots of folks here who would be more than happy to talk to you , but , dont worry so much , your so young , when you hit my age you will look back on all your going thru right now and wonder why you spent so much time worrying. Feel free to pm me.
you can go on the erson you want to talk to , go to their profile , then look for where it says private message...click on that
Please dont worry so much , I can promise you lots of us have felt just like you , and I know how horrible it feels when your going thru it , but , give it time , and I swear it gets better.
what's the point of liking someone? it's depressing really. you can't help but feel attracted but you know that nothing's going to happen because they don't swing your way. i wish i could just fight this feeling. i'm finding it so hard to accept myself for who i am. by the way sorry for not pm-ing or replying to visitor messages, i dont think i can do that until i reach a certain number of posts
Bibi - whether you're straight, gay or bi it really doesn't make any difference. We all experience the same thing - being attracted to people who are, for one reason or another, unavailable or unattainable. This is normal, and is no reason for not liking yourself. It just means you're a member of the human race like the rest of us. Welcome to the club. Don't try to fight the feeling. It's something we've all had to learn to live with. It's part of the human condition, I'm afraid - and the way forward lies in learnign to accept it and move on. There will be other people you are attracted to who do swing your way. Just give it time. Meanwhile, you sound like a wonderful person ... so try not to be so hard on yourself. I'm not here sitting in judgment on you: and neither should you. Big hugs, Becky
i don't hate the fact that i'm attracted to people who will never like me back. yes, i know it's painful but i guess i have accepted that. i hate the person that i am. why must i be this way? it's not natural for individuals to be attracted to their own gender. i know evidence of gay/lesbian animals have been documented- but such animals are in the minority of their species. i do not want to be this way and it feels like a curse upon myself. i'm constantly unhappy as i am continually suppressing what i feel, persistently hide who i am.
WHO decides what is normal ? Ive heard that Im not normal all my life , that I will burn in hell , that god hates gays , but WHO decides these things ? You need to stop looking at the things in yourself that you dont like , and focus on the good things about yourself. God dont make mistakes , so , if he made us all , whos to say we dont belong ?
Bibi, I was raised in a pretty strict christian family, and all my teen years I longed to be able to speak up but couldn't. I have finally spoken my mind though, and for some reason, my family accepted me for who I am. I didn't. So that part I reallly can relate to. I realise that I do not have the wisdom of years. But I do have the wisdom of therapy and finding my own way. You are NOT wrong!!!!!! I really can't say this enough. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you!!! (or at least, not that I know of ) God did not make a mistake, he did not create us to be hated and he did not mean for the church to tell us otherwise. I am sure of that. "Love thy neighbor like thyself" right?? That means no hate. You are absolutely perfect the way you are, liking both guys and gals is a plus! You get to chose out of way more people! :love: Look, I once hated myself too. Hated the world, hated God for making me this way. But it's not His fault. And it's not yours. The only ones at fault here are the people who say God will hate you. He does not. He loves you. God is love. Whether it be straight, gay, lesbian or bi. Go and listen to Lady Gaga's 'Born this way' No matter gay, straight or bi Lesbian, transgender life, I'm on the right track baby I was born to survive :grouphug: You will only get out stronger, trust me. And trust yourself, Love, Nerissi
Bibi - it's not "natural" to to wear clothes, to work in an office, to drive around in a car, to eat processed cheese, to communicate by sittign on your backside and tapping away at a keyboard. Practically nothing we do in modern life is "natural" ... and there's nothing wrong with that. Just because something isn't "natural" doesn't make it wrong, or bad. Hating yourself isn't a good place to be. I was in that place for a long time when I was younger, and it didn't do me any good. You have to get out of that place, and there are only two ways to do it: (1) learn to accept what you are, or (2) change what you are. Me? I opted for acceptance :mickey:
thanks everybody, it's really great to know that there are such caring and accepting people out there. i feel like i'm using this thread to vent, i apologize profusely for spamming everybody but i dont know who to talk to about these things. stop me if i'm misusing this forum. i think i like someone- but im not sure if i do she's accomplished, funny and i plan out everything i say before i communicate with her so that i dont sound stupid. how do i know if this is i'm just idolising a friend or if i'm actually infatuated with her? i dont know if this individual is attainable or not and i am so confused i can't put an end to these feelings because there's always that glimmer of hope but i can't pursue it either because we've got so many mutual friends why must life be so hard?
You're NOT misusing the forum Bibi - you're using it for EXACTLY the purpose it was put here for. It's here so that confused and lonely lesbians with nobody they can turn to in their immediate friendship circle can get advice on the things that matter to them. So yeah - that's what the forum's here for, and it's what you're doing, so that kinda feels OK to me.
I'm with BeachBall on this one ^^ This forum exists so that you can have a place to mingle with like-minded woman. Ask opinions, ask questions, chat a bit and yes, vent And yes, we care and we will always accept you. Because we all have a pretty good idea what you're going through: most of us have a similar story. Sad in a way, but true. "i think i like someone- but im not sure if i do she's accomplished, funny and i plan out everything i say before i communicate with her so that i dont sound stupid. how do i know if this is i'm just idolising a friend or if i'm actually infatuated with her? " I wish I could help you on this one, but I often find myself having the same 'problem'. Personally I usually wait it out, see how I feel a couple months from now and carefully try to work my sexuality into the conversation at some point. But I know that that's probably not the way for you. So... sorry I don't have the answers for you. You wonder why life is so hard? Join the club. I guess in a way life is just as hard as you care to make it. I know that doesn't help you, and it sure hasn't done anything to help me But still... I really do feel that the people who haven't really had any hardships in life are often not exactly worth my time. You'll only come out stronger Even though I realise that's not much counsilation at this point. I will stop rambling now
ive always had issues differentiating between a platonic relationship and a crush- what feelings are indicative of a more-than-friends relationship? what distinguishes an infatuation from a friendship? at what stage do you realise?
