Linked below is an article that talks about how research shows that "handing kids self-esteem on a platter" had backfired. It talks about how kids need to learn to take risks and develop resilience. http://www.washingtonpost.com/local...tuned-praise/2012/01/11/gIQAXFnF1P_story.html
I totally agree with this. I always try to acknowledge good behaviour without praising it. I want to encourage good behaviour on its own, rather than because it gains my praise. I also try not to say, "You are so good at that." Instead I say something like "You must have practised to become that good." That way if they are having trouble with something, they won't think they aren't good at it, but that they need more practice. In the long run, another thing that doesn't work with excessive praise is that your child will pick up on it being phony, and won't believe you when you really do like something they did. Even with artwork, I try to encourage hard work and creativity rather than the result. If I truly like something, I will let my kids know what I like, but I'm not going to praise and frame every little scribble they make. There is nothing better than a child being proud of themselves, without getting praise from someone else.
Yeah todays culture is teaching kids pure nonsense , cause some " educated" child psycologists bought into the whole idea that they know better then thousands of years of childrens upbringing . Cause they had a thought it had to be right . It turns out it is and was pure bullshit . They teach these kids today there so special and smart . That they will never fail. It's insane , to much of anything is bad including praise . So you end up with little Johnny the egotistical asshole , who is so smart and knows everything . Who thinks he knows more than his parents , so why should his special ass have to listen to them . I remember reading an article that school's were doing away with gym classes , cause they said it brought out to much aggression in the kids and hurt their self esteem when they lost . And another suggesting some schools were doing away with the standard grading system . A-F and not giving failing letter grades , instead opting to call the failing grade "defered sucsess". I'm old school and grew up where you went to school got your balls busted daily by teachers , bullies and everyone else above you . Where you got picked last for teams in gym , and either passed or failed . Then went home to get another ass bustin when you got those big f's . And god help you if the old man was drunk that day, you knew it would be twice as bad . Ah, the seventies , those were the days . At least I understood those days they were real , not this fake crap today . "Where everyones a winner " "Praise", hell we didn't get praise . A good day was when you didn't get backhanded across the mouth . Or told by teachers "what are you dumb " . Or, you're going to end up in prison . " Or mothers "you're going to end up like your father , a drunken bum " . Real life lessons , that made us tough and strong . None of this wuss crap . Hell I don't know , maybe we got ripped off . The kids of the 50,60,70,80's . Maybe we didn't get enough "praise". Maybe we were failed , I'm sorry "defered sucsessed" . Maybe we were ripped off like the kids today are being .
