Ever Get that "Im going to be alone?" Feeling?

I've been feeling this for a few months now.

And I am starting to accept that this is my life. And that I accept it.

Im not a hot guy, im not ugly. People refer to me as cute but thats it. I have only had one real girlfriend. All my other friends women swarm to constantly want to be in a relationship with. Me, never have such luck.

Anyone else have the same feeling?

 

i don't feel like i'm going to be alone forever, but i feel like i'm going to be alone.

i'm used to it, and the occasional times that i am not feeling alone, feel manic. and that mania ruins things usually.


i doubt that you will be foreveralone, though man. if you've had ONE girlfriend, chances are you'll have another

my only 'girlfriends' i've ever had were in middle school lol

 

I to am "cute". I really dislike being called cute as I find it kind of emasculating. Oh well work with what ya got

 

When that "feeling" turns into a knowing you got something to worry about...

 

I thought for sure I was going to be forever alone, but then I met someone and now... im not. Lol. Its just the way things go.

 

it's a possibility. luckily i'm one of those rare people who doesn't base my happiness in life on who i'm latched on to.

 

Yes, you can't be lucky all the time. When it seems you will never have any luck at all it's the trick not to give in to thoughts of what might be in the distant future of your life. If your attitude shows you have accepted that you think you might never be lucky in this department it can become a self fulfilling prophecy...

 

Embrace it. The moment you realize that you don't need someone else to be happy and fulfilled, a strange but powerful thing happens. I've gotten involved with some terrible predatory women in my past - that's the only type that was drawn to me, because they sensed that vulnerability about me - not quite desperation - but something like it. It was that irrational and false sense of NEEDING to be in a relationship so that I would be perceived as normal, and tolerating horrible behavior to fulfill this false need.

You've undoubtedly met or known people who spend their entire lives moving from relationship to relationship, seeking others for happiness and fulfillment - they're terrified of being alone and they seldom are, because they are so fearful of being alone they always have a plan B, a parachute "person of interest" or rebound, waiting in the wings - which ironically and perhaps subconsciously undermines their relationships from the very beginning. These people go through their entire lives as strangers to themselves. Everything, including their own identities, originates externally. They likely haven't spent even 1 month, as a single adult, in their entire life.

But back to the "strange but powerful thing". The more time you spend with yourself, the stronger your own identity becomes. Now, as long as you're not a jerk, or a sociopath, or a psychopath - in other words, if you can describe your own identity as "benevolent" (however you want to define that term), your strong sense of identity will generally attract the people who are good for you. But YOU and only you have the power to determine who you allow into your life AND because you have a strong sense of identity, you will be a better judge of WHO is worthy of your attention and your affection.

Now if you're a jerk, with a strong sense of identity as a jerk - guess who you're going to attract? You guessed it, republicans.

 

You always got your good ole buddies on the hipforums!

 

Yeah, Im kinda ok with it now though.

 

Why sure! All the time. I'm hoping that will change when I get out of prison next year.

Wait...

Yes, the feeling of "forever alone" is quite known to me. I seem to pick the winners. They either like me, but are already dating someone (so therefore, I wont date them). Or I ask them, and they say no. What the heck is up with that? It's much easier to just keep to myself and think about the life of a hermit... forever.

 

Honestly thank you for this, I was discovering this today, that I shouldnt need someone with me just to be happy, and shouldnt be focused on that. This just helped me realize that. Lately i've been growing up a lot, and noticing things I dont need.

As a side note, not a jerk at all, actually a really nice guy :2thumbsup:

 

this made me laugh

:2thumbsup: good post

 

But everyone else could think you are a complete jerk, but say to your face your a nice guy just to be polite....then how would you know

if you really were or werent a jerk

 

well considering i still hold open doors and stuff for ladies, pay everytime i take them out, still have never called a girl a bitch or anything. I always help when i can, I hate talking mean or rude to epople. I would say im a nice guy

 

I know a couple of real assholes that hold open doors

 

I have given up on girls. I have found they are all the same. From my experiance and gioing into a new relationship as if it was my first has always lead me to beleive that I wont ever find a different type of girl.

I dont think Im good looking, I think Im ugly. Never had a girl approch me and only had 1 relationship in 34yrs. I was only ever truely happy in a relationship, but I cant deal with the lying, messing about and cheating and dis-respect I get from girls. I have tried to get somewhere with over 30 girls but them 30 have all been the same.

People say your going for the wrong type....what are the right ones? I dont have a strict criteria for a partner, but aged 34 I know the rest of my life must be lived alone and I have to get used to it, so for me I know the forseeable furtue for myself.

 

I am with jamgrassphan...
what he says there is the best advice you will ever get

 

I get that feeling. And, many times I wish things were different. But, so far I`ve soldiered on.

 

jamgrassphan: nailed it.