So I have depression. I've never been to a doctor about it (who knows why) but I'm positive I've been depressed for years. It's not that life crippling kind of depression, just a feeling of "why do I even bother" and not really caring about anything. I had a girlfriend for a period of time, probably a few months. She dumped me for this guy I met while we were hanging out with some friends. Ever since then my depression has gone from 'meh' to 'fuck my life why do I even get out of bed'. I've been skipping classes, eating a lot less, just sit around moping. I realize how pathetic it is but I just can't help it. It doesn't even make sense to me. I don't like this girl that much, it's more of the fact she dumped me and who she dumped me for. I just feel like a loser now. She wants to stay friends because "you're such an amazing guy you showed me not all guys are assholes" I've heard it all before. She made excuses saying "i'm not ready for a relationship" then a few days later comes clean and tells me she's with someone else. Why the fuck can't you just be honest with me in the first place? That's what pisses me off the most.... saying oh I'm not ready for a relationship youre such a nice guy blah blah blah when you're actually just with this other dude. Save it! And of course I haven't expressed my true feelings about all this to her. I just say whatever makes you happy makes me happy... But this is the fucked up thing, even if she called me right now saying 'I made a mistake' I wouldn't be interested. I'm done with her. But I still feel so shitty about all of this. I just don't want to be so down and angry at everything anymore. I guess my question is what should I do to get out of this rut? Should I go get antidepressants? Do they even help? I think I need to just get another girl, but that's much easier said than done.
Antidepressants would help you, assuming you're comfortable with big pharma. Lots aren't, but I am, and I can definitely see a noticible difference in my like between when I am on antidepressants and when I'm not on them. My boyfriend and I broke up for personal reasons, and even though it wasn't a total shock, it still hurt and we had a life plan and a whole complicated story and it was terrible. I cried constantly while while awake and didn't eat for over two weeks then slowly started eating again by eating one piece of bread a day and working up. The only way I was getting calories was by the excessive drinking every day, like I mean fall down drunk every single solitary day. There is nothing to really get you out of the rut besides distract yourself, go about your daily business as usual. When we broke up I almost lost my job by calling out for almost all of my shifts and leaving early a lot. My advice would be, if you can afford it of have health insurance, is see a psychologist to try to work out the personal issues you were left with when your girlfriend left you, and a psychiatrist to find a medicine to help treat some of the deeper causes (not girlfriend related) of your depression. Good luck!
Dont go out and get another girl right away , you would be using her to fix the way you feel and that wouldnt be fair. its normal to feel a little down after a break up , grab a good friend and talk , maybe some meds would help. It will get better , time will help. huggs.
Forget her and move on. She doesn't sound mature enough for a true relationship anyways. I don't understand this either as i have heard it countless times, on these forums, and off of the internet. She sounds immature bro, keep her number, but keep your distance for awhile. Who knows she might call or come back, if she doesnt, well its her loss. Just move on, liars and bullshitters are not worth a minute of our time, male or female, young or old, and they are EVERYWHERE! Keep your head up and you'll find someone else. Just don't ever look down at the ground.
I wouldn't even touch the pills...or anitdepressants. You don't sound like someone who needs or wants them, given you have 1 post. I call them pills because all of it is dirty as shit. Their are many ways to beat depression as long as you mentally believe that you'll over come it, you will beat it. I hate antidepressants because of the many stories and roommates ive had who have horrible addictions to them. Wether because they got in a car crash, paid for a psychologist, or had a friend hook them up. Some people get lost in that shit. I'm a firm believer that unless you have something like schizophrenia, you don't need any of it and should avoid pills all together. They are in no way healthy. imo.
Dont take medicine, it will either make you "not there" or make things worse. Trust me I have experience with all sorts of downers lifters trippers gigglers and uppers. And antidepressant experience. Tips: - Start exersizing, nothing is better than good health, it will also kep your mind busy! - Force yourself to eat! Whether you are in the mood or not, be sure to eat your breakfest! Thats what powers you all day! - Find a hobby! - Stay outside. - Set an alarm earlier than you usually wakeup - Realize your better off not being depressed! Lounging around will waste time you can never get back! - Talk to your friends. If you dont have any like yours truly, let us know on the forums! Therapy doesnt really work for me but for most it does! - Stay away from drugs for a while if you do them! - Brush your teeth! Shower etc. Good hygene is key! - Get an instrument - Go to sleep earlier than usual, dont stay up too late. - Start reading - Find another girl - Watch tv more (only the news chanel, letst you know how much better your life is than the starving, massacred etc.) ONLY THE NEWS and like an hour a day. - Start meditating - Find religion - Start lucid dreaming (though this may impact your need to sleep) - Go through all the shit in your garage (everyone has it. I just now remembered all of the boxes piled up) - Start cleaning excesively - Get antidepressents (which I highly dis-advise) - Listen to uplifting music such as: Bob marley Damian Marley Sublime Aerosmith Etc. - Be a douchebag and make fun of others to make up for your lack of self confidence - Start writing (poetry, stories, biographies etc.) - Go out to coffee shops frequently - Start daily routines such as jogging, shopping, coffee etc. A schedual basically - Stay away from electronics - add me as a friend or send me a PM I would love to talk with you - get the fuck up and do something with your life! Just some pointers off the top of my head. Be sure to find things you get lost in!
yeah, just be a douchebag and watch the news, and remember that being depressed isn't as good as being not depressed! solved!
Okay, thanks for the replies everyone! Writing this thread helped me feel a lot better, I also told her exactly how I feel about all this and that has me feeling better too. I think I'm going to go to the doc sometime soon for the depression, because it's been an issue for a long time even before this GF stuff happened to me and it also runs in my family on both sides. I've found sitting around the house only makes things worse so I am trying to find things to do outside, but it's not really easy. Most of my friends are more of the quiet stay in type so when I try to suggest going out somewhere most of them don't want to. I don't usually just go outside and do things alone. There's a party this saturday I might go to, but both my ex and her new BF will be there so I'm not sure if I should go or not. Honestly I kind of want to beat the living shit out of this guy. He knew we were together when he was going after her. I've hung out with him before and he's half my size so it wouldn't be an issue... but I don't want to hurt her or get in any legal trouble. I'm not the violent type but lately I've been feeling like I need to strangle the life out of something... and I really don't like feeling this way.
Go to the party. Ignore them, a little bit* The guy talks smack. Knock his ass out. You will feel much beter
Go to your bathroom and look in the mirror. Look at yourself and tell yourself "Fuck them!". And I betcha you'll start smiling when you do that, too!
