Parents, not so great role models

I'm the youngest of 7 daughters......... my mother left my dad when I was 1

Both alcoholics (now sober) but mother seems to think through out my whole life I will follow her and belong in A.A with her.....

My father isn't a good listener when it comes time I really need to be heard..... has very rude and offending opinions.......

My mother, grew up thinking I had to HIDE my emotions... crying was bad, sad, mad was bad... when I quit doing drugs as a teen she tried to convince me I was an alcoholic (which i rarely drank) and when I didn't and cried she treid to admit to hospital for being depressed and possible suicidal... so that was th last I was normally /emotional with her.

Both hoard, have hypertension but wont do anything for prevention or treatment (diet/stress reduction) and with all else they do I can live with because I love them .....

the only thing that bugs me is that they both don't wash their hands @_@ after using the washroom..... this I always noticed and now am insane with washing hands
I live close to my dad now and always go over and sanitize his house when he's out on trips hehehe, he wonders why he's always sick!

Anywho, I'm just blabbing now lol
but hope I don't become too much of a hoarder, ignore my son
and accuse him of my past doings his whole life. Most of all...
to always listen when it's important and show that it's okay to damn cry now and then.

There's more to it than this, but near the end of where I stopped I felt bad for expressing and decided to stop from there with the whole hand washing bit lol........... love my parents!

 

Just do the opposite

 

I pretty much did , grew up before I had to taking care of my sisters babies <3 and learn quick with the six older sisters (who also think I'm doomed to follow their dark history and still waiting lol)

I cook healthier, listen more, non judgemental to others, cry with people and wash mhy hands like crazy (and things they touch when the come over after washroom usage lmao)

I had thier short temper thing in late teens so I did anger management and councilling

 

But ur all good now?

 

Well, OMG! A Wife and 7 daughters, I'm surprised he hasnt gone deaf.

I wouldnt worry though, parents are full of shit, they are just faking it the whole time, they dont know what to do any better than you do

 

I am sure that with all you have gone through that you are not to tempted to go down the wrong path. You will find a lot of support here anytime you need it. To be where you are in your life I hope that you are proud for your accomplishments. Since you might not hear it from your parents let it be known that I am PROUD of you. Good luck.

 

Yes I'm all good now , ty

Lmao, my father does seem to ignore me now a days lol... just thought i t was selective!

Thank you tazer, I'm happy with where I am and all I do is try my best for my own son my focus is ..him and listen as much as I can as he loves to talk!

 

The negative side of over-protectiveness in parents, including:

Undermining children’s confidence in their own abilities to take care of themselves and get things done;

Instilling fear of failure such that they are denied the chance to learn how to persevere while standing on their own 2 feet;

Inability to launch because they’re unsure of their passion, their own direction, and what to do next, if it means doing it on their own;

yes, yes and yes. all of this is true - I love my dad but really, this is me at 21 years.

(source)

My mom is a alcoholic as well, so I know how ya feel. Sucks, but look at it this way... they've taught you of what not to become.

 

Al-Anon. They have answers. Try a few meetings.

 

Thank you, I know about Al Anon and been there

Noela- yes i have been to a few parenting classes, coucilling/therapy to
get over the "input" that was giv en me growing up not only from parents
but older sisters. It's sad to see they are very simular to our mother @_@