Rites of Passage

I think that would be brilliant as it ties into the today and yesterday. From what you say he is an old soul in a new mans body so maybe the tweak to the past and the ties are what will be the thing for him.

He already displays a respect for those traditions and it may just be an integral part of who he is.

Let him explore those with the help of the wisdom of elders.

I love this, as it mentors who will shape the future for even us.

 

WOW, I often say that about people but missed it with him...You're right. He is an old soul in a young body. This weekend I'll start talking to him about that.

As with evey kid I've worked with, he will be my teacher if I give him the chance. That kinda thing makes my soul tingle like the first rushes of all great trips...however they come to pass.

 

I think it would be good to teach him routine auto maintenance. Change/rotate tires, check/ change fluids, brakes, wiper blades, plugs, etc.

 

Good point, Ha, maybe I can get him to wax my car too.

 

You seem to be far misinterpreting my sentiment. Never did I suggest that doing nothing is a feasible outcome.

Nor did I suggest that age is the determining factor why my opinion should be counted.
My reason for adding this is that I am currently battling with people telling me the 'correct' way to live my life, so I may offer you a different perspective than you have. Truly this is the magic of communication.

It is likely you are missing my point due to feeling like my posts are attacking your quest. This is not the case. I find it wonderful that you have taken a liking to the well being of this boy, but in my personal history people have attempted the same for me with no good results.
My point is simply that there should be no rules for what is a man and what is not, and instilling some in him can wield potentially unwanted results.
There is not one single point in a person's life then they are suddenly a 'grown up'. It is a fluid and changing journey.

I maintain that as a mentor, it is your job to guide his natural interests, not force your own upon him.

I have offered you exactly what you asked for. Especially because I am just shy of 50 years younger than you, I wonder why you dismissed my claim of a more relevant age when you suggest that is what you want to hear about!

Good luck with this task. Just remember that everyone is different.

 

Teach about the old ways , teach him to be at one with himself and nature , teach him mutual respect for all living creatures , teach me that every person is a individual responsible for his own choice , teach him never to judge, teach him to love .

 

Sarah, I think your personal situation is clouding your input here. I don't think the op is trying to tell the kid how to live his life, but merely opening his mind and teaching him valuable things to know.

Most kids that age don't really know what their "natural interests" are yet. For an example.....if my nephew were left to his natural interests, he would play video games all day everyday. But instead of buying him more games to play, I find it important to show him new things, bring him out of his comfort zone. He may not peruse any of the things I show him, but he may find a new passion that he otherwise wouldn't even know was there.

 

This opening line seems like the closing line in terms of productive communication. I've learned to respect that statement when I've heard it. Some don't want anything, some aren't ready or whatever. No sense wasting time for either party. I 'll consider what you have offered and apply it as I see fit.

 

I'd add basic cooking and mending clothes.

On a sidenote: I don't like the "rites of passage" expression.

 

How would you phrase it? I use the rite of passage idea because thats a way I've heard it described and like the idea of the journey. Guess it could sound like an ordeal and some folks don't like that concept.

 

It might be a good idea for him to be able to prepare a basic family dinner sometime, lots of thoughts, planning and skills there. Plus perhaps some expression of love or affection if hes doing a family meal.

 

General semantics is always good.

 

I was thinking more on the lines of "taking care of himself"

 

(sorry i haven't read all the posts in this thread)

Just wanted to say that i have a lot of respect for what u do Yarapario.

I gotta admit i smiled at "Being able to identify at least 10 different local trees", hah i mean that's sweet and all but i think u can be a wonderful, wise and caring person all your life without ever knowing the name of one tree...

I am particularly in favor of this :

imo that's absolutely fundamental, and u should definitely focus on that idea. Maybe u can develop that achievement into several actions...

 

What about building something like a dog house, chicken coop, or a picnic table.

They have free plans on the web if you need them.

I had wood shop in school, but they never taught how to build something like that.

Or maybe they did and I skipped on that day.. all I remember was making a salad bowl and a small shelf, ect. Little junk like that.

Is there anyone building a house or something close by? If you could arrange a tour (during working hours) so he could see how things are put together, that would be cool, imo. I think I would of liked that when I was his age.

 

knowledge never hurts

 

knowing what it feels like to be kicked in the balls.

 

This is hands down the best advice, and best post in this thread. These are the most basic values that should be installed in everyone, male or female.

I am a very strong advocate for allowing young people to be themselves, so long as that doesn't include inflicting suffering on others. I think too many older people, parents in particular, push their own wants and desires on their children, and treat them as miniture versions of themselves, rather than as individuals. There is no one correct rite of passage that is going to palatable to all young people, and there is no single right way to "be a man", or to be a woman for that matter. There are many countless different ways of making a valuable contribution to the world. The problem with a lot of parents is, their view of this is extremely narrow, and will be disappointed (or even worse) if their child does not fit into that. Basic values of decency, honesty, kindness, and love are all any child needs installed in them really, if truth be told...

 

A lot of times when I'm working with a kid who is past any crisis issues I tell them I'm their tour guide for the show of life. I can open various doors for them to explore. A lot of these kids don't know where or what to look for so they stick with the familiar and often limited ways of their past. This is where the fun comes in because they get to break out of their old ways. Museums instead of arcades, hikes insted of hangin out. Once they get a sense of the fun to be had then its hang on and watch 'em go.

I see a lot of my job with these kids as running interference, keeping cops, courts and stagnant schools from penning the kid up. The more ideas the kid comes up with that healthy the hard it is for stagnant systems to slow them down. The kid who has a circular saw in his hands is gonna try safer fun than the kid who wants a gun.

 

haha. Whenever I said ''it's not fair!'' my parents would say ''You wanna go to the Snot Fair? To do what, ride the Snot Ferris Wheel?"

Snot Fair! Snot Fair!