so i had a bad acid trip from what i can remeber about 10 months ago and its all i seem to think about. ever since then i havent felt the same, ive felt like the person who i was got traped somewhere inside my mind and now ive had to start over to rebuild my personailty. well heres the story .... me and my gf scored 10 hits of acid and i bought some trippy posters from a local hemp shop so i could have something to look at bc my last trip i was so amazed by these posters my friend had, so anyways we get home and we take 5 hits each and this is my 3rd time trippin and this was her like 18th time.... ..... so im sittin there laying on our bed starting to feel it kick in and i feel like my body was like all twisted and i started to feel uncomfertbale and i start thinkn to myself "oh no" and then it all went wrong.... i started to think of happy thoughts and my gf is just watching me play guitar hero and i was sucking so bad it started to make me even more sad so i felt more uncomfertable that i took off all my clothes bc i felt restricted so i started to play guitar hero naked and my gf thought it was hilarious so she started to take some pictures of me so i had to put the guitar down and we layed down togther and she said to me "you know theres only a guitar between us" so i thought it ment what you probly think it means so i turnd off the lights and the tv and started to undress her and we started to have sex for about an hour but i couldnt cum and it started to get to me and i stoped and then she was talking to me but i was tripping so fucking hard that i started to hear what my mind was telling me, and what i thought i heard her say was.... "rape me" but i knew i was tripping and i knew that she wouldnt say something like that so i battled my mind bc i knew it was wrong and that my trip had gone more than i could handle and my gf was trying to hlep me and i knew she was but i felt like ive gone to a place of no comming back and my mind started to display all these neon colors and these crossed dressers were displayed dancing and comming at my face telling me im gay and that i should accept it and then i started to freak the fuck out! i felt like if i claimed i was gay then everything would stop and i screamed at the top of my lungs "im gay!" and the visions then changed and my gf was telling me "no baby your not gay" trying to use her kindess to get me out of what she already knew was a bad trip..... ...my new visions was one of those acient scrolls and it and it showed me thing my mind had gotten jammed by thinking too much and that i had to stop thinkn but i couldnt and thats all i could do but doing so made me feel become more lost in my mind and i felt that it would be more difficutl to get me out and my gf was telling me she wouldnt leave my side until i was ok and i started to freak out bc then i started to think she knows im stuck in a bad trip and she feels responsible...the rest of it was a blurr i remeber bits of peices but when ever i start to think about it my mind shuts down and wont let me get past that point even tho i know what i want to say.... the point it i havent been the same since then and i feel like ive been very sad and i felt like ive a bit crazy and thought i was skitzo for a bit...and no matter who i talk too... they just dont wanna hear it and they dont understand... but anyways i just wanted to share havent done so in awhile if you read this and have any questions bc you rpobly do ill be more than happy to awnser and happy to hear any opionins on what to do... ive been trying to rebuild my mind to be stronger and to go back and find my lost ego
Well this is not quite the same thing because I've never had a bad acid trip, I had a dissapointing one but that happens. I did however have a pretty bad mushroom trip once not sure if watching the movie The Wall contributed or if I was just not in the right mood for a trip.....but I started freaking out and thought this animie chick in the poster behind the t.v was going to kill me because she was holding a gun and of course things can look like they are moving when you're tripping. and then I ended up laying on the couch not moving for what must have been hours convinced it would never end. But yeah as much as anyone told me it would end I could not be convinced of it but it did wear off eventually. It definitly effected me though and it still kinda does the only way i imagine I will totally get past it is to figure out what all my mind was trying to tell me. So that might help, or it might sound like typical psychedelic user ramblings.
Ive had a bad trip once. Me and four friends decided to drop some, i took 6, and it was great. We had a fun time and everything was great. Around 3AM, two decided to go to bed, and the other decided to go in his room and chill. I was left in this room, it was a small dark room, and i started freaking out. I started thinking I could hear them conspire against me to mess with me, and my mind kept going to bad places. I sat in the corner, cause I didnt want anyone sneaking up behind me, and stayed there for what seemed like eternity. It was the worst time of my life. But after what was an hour or two on the clock, i turned on Netflix and put south park on and quickly lifted out of that spot. Thats my saftey with acid, is oddly enough South Park, it will pull me out of any bad spot and quickly turn it around.
I don't recall bringing forth latent homosexuality as one of acid's side effects... Trips can vary tremendosuly from one trip to the next and since acid has a fair amount of variability in potency from one batch to another you should always go into the trip with a positive mindset and in a comfortable enviornment. Sounds like that was the case for the most part, but acid can take one to some pretty bizarre and/or difficult mental realms at times so just prepare to confront or at the least acknowledge stuff like that in any subsequent trips from now. I know its easier said than done and often words don't suffice for how racked your brain may have felt then or since but for the sake of your mental health, I'd kind of sort of try to dismiss those thoughts and consider it quirky perceptions of the drug or prepare to take another trip and try to confront them further.
I would not let one bad trip discourage you. Ultimately it is your choice, but LSD is wonderful. I would just make sure the conditions and timing is right. Dont have to many problems with (or with the people with you) going in. If I was you I would give it atleast one more try, in the utmost positive light.
I think I had a bad trip, it was the day before new year's eve, just these couple of weeks ago, and some friends and I got a hotel for the night. One was a good friend that I wanted to trip with for a long time (T), another a guy I've tripped with before on a fun day (S), and then a guy T and S knew, but that I've never met before. And this was his first trip We each took 3 cubes, so being liquid who knew how much we actually had, but we all took them at the same time, and A was psyching himself out- thinking it was a placebo or something, because the rest of us noted some of the effects before he did, so he thought he was just seeing stuff because we said it was there. I don't know much about A, but he clearly had drug problems, he'd smoke cigarettes about every half hour, T has never hung out with A sober, cause he always shows up high or drunk.. Anyways so about a couple of hours in the trip we started to see this dark soul be devoured by the experience. I don't know what went through his head, but he clearly had to face himself and his problems. It was strange, and this is why I don't know if I can call it a bad trip or not: T,S, and I all having had previous experiences, knew how to react to some bits of the trip, and we were all connecting and sharing the experience, but A was dragging us down. So for T,S, and I it wasn't US having a bad trip, it was kind of being dragged along by A's experience, and we all felt bad for him. After the peak, time went so painfully slow it was the worst experience I had on acid. I then just posed the idea "hell is waiting". There was a period where S and A went to go out to a gas station for some food/drink. So T and I kicked backed, and this is the kid I wanted to trip with forever, we started talking, and the vibes all of the sudden got cleaner, we perked up our trip to a happier place, brought out the guitar and started jammin' and just created a new flow. And it really showed me the power of empathy/sympathy, because of how much you could feel for somebody other than yourself. I haven't seen A since, but T and S told me that he did face him self a lot in that trip, and that he learned a lot about himself. And it was great, because the time of the experience felt wasted, but now it felt like we all sacrificed something to help A's life. A and S went on another experience in the mountains just this past week and it was a better experience, and that tells me sometimes you just have bad experiences. I don't think I've had a bad trip yet, but I've certainly have had bad experiences. What you experienced, OP, sounded more like the bad trip, you got very caught up your own head and didn't know what to do, that created external changes. I hope your gf helped you after the trip a bit, it might not be bad telling her what you said in this post even though you mentioned she sensed some of those feelings. If your open to another experience, just learn to take the things you learned in this one so you can get past these issues, so maybe you can see a happier realm. But if need be, take time to solve these problems in reality, before facing them again in a trip
Bad trips were constructed by the man to make people scared of acid. It's not a bad trip unless you call it that. The "bad trip" will simply become a challenging trip if you just respect that is challenging you for a reason. Learn what it wants you to learn.
Starting out with an acknowledgment of my own level of relative inexperience, I will still say that a couple things in this thread have resonated with me: Black_Lotus' comment that sympathy and empathy help a lot has also been true in my experience. My most difficult psychedelic experience so far was tripping solo on 2c-e. When thinking on that experiences, I almost started to buy into the PiHkal and online-rhetoric that 2c-e is a "difficult" substance. However, one of my most blissful psychedelic experiences was also on the EXACT SAME CHEMICAL! What was the difference? The blissful night I was with a friend I care about and we were sharing...the "difficult" night I was by myself. Set&setting are a real issue and the social component is a big part of that for me. Strangely there is also a resonance with the OP, lost4ever. I am a straight man--but I live in a liberated-enough social group that if I were to come out, it would not cause me any distress. In other words, I know I am not a repressed homosexual. Nevertheless, gender-bending thoughts ARE often part of my trips. When feeling a psychedelic I often feel myself as being a woman, or feeling homoerotic urges, often mixed-in with my heterosexual urges. I think this is just because psychedelics take us to a place of lowered inhibitions and also cut through some of our social conditioning. Last comment, this is based on some personal experience as well as integrating what I've heard others say on here: if you are looking for a more positive acid experience, perhaps try a bit of weed with it. Seems to make it calmer and more positive FOR SOME. I have also heard that Molly can keep and acid trip happy, but I have never tried that myself. Perhaps some of the acid insights could be revisited on a subsequent trip but with a "flotation device"--i.e. another chemical to keep you happy! Just a thought.
My knowledge so far, (ive only dropped acid a total of 7-8 times, but my gathering) is that it plays so heavily on your emotions. I learned that I am almost the exact same way. Everytime I trip I have to be with a close friend, or else the trip will go south. I dont know why, I can have plenty fun by myself sober, but when tripping I cant. Everytime I trip, my best friend trips. But not vice versa for this reason; One day we got the LSD, and my friend goes "bro, i want to take a solo trip, just to find myself". I was ok with that cause this gave me a chance to do 100% what i wanted to do on a trip. So i got home took the LSD, and it started off pretty cool, but then everything felt so lonely, and all my problems came rushing down like a waterfall i couldnt get out off. I actually found myself having trouble breathing cause i felt like my problems were weighing me down on my chest. He had a great time, but I just decided not to do it alone again, till I am sure i can handle it. It was the exact same LSD we have taken before and i have had wonderful results. So it can honestly just be something like that, it happens.
I think that it may have been less because you were actually alone and more because you have built up in your mind the solo trip as something that is not a good setting for you. If you think that having a solo trip is going to cause the trip tom 'go south' it is much more likely than if you went in thinking it was just a different way of tripping and not worse than with a friend. If I had my choice I would trip with friends, I am a very social person and I want to talk to others while on my trip. About half my trips, though are by myself because I have a clear opportunity to do it in a a great setting and my friends can't work their schedule around. I notice that I obviously get much deeper by myself, and you really get more bang per hit noticing things you wouldn't notice if you were distracted by friends. One of the reasons going to the bathroom is so crazy on LSD, I think, is a lot of times for people who trip in groups, that is the only time you are alone. The trip kind of overtakes you.
^^i've always thought it had a lot to do with changing scenery, bright lights, etc. but the alone factor is probably a big one too
same exact shit happened to me when i ate some grateful dead hits, I was at a show with my friend and we were around a lot of gay people because the venue was right next to a gay bar. I remember looking at them and my head started telling me i was gay, i was furious at the thought and i kept thinking how much i loved pussy, then it just kept telling me that in the future i would change my mind about that. That shit really got to me, and i still to this day wonder if i ever will be gay at some point. But that was 2 years ago and I have a girlfriend now and I still love the pussy. I have learned a lot from psychedelics especially through dmt that you cant take your trip so seriously. Your going to see, think, and feel things that discomfort you. But i like to think of it as a nightmare. When you have a nightmare, do you wake up the next morning thinking what you saw was actually true and will affect your real life? No. Don't take the trip so seriously man. Good report though.
I've had a pretty bad trip before. I literally thought I had gone insane. Too much acid + bad setting. Just be careful and remember it's just a psychedelic.
More gender-bending drug thoughts: I got pretty high on just weed last night (highest I've been in a long time), and I started musing about being gay. As I said in my earlier post, I feel pretty firm in my heterosexuality. I did start thinking last night, though (as a result of a difficult breakup I've been going through) that loving/being loved by another man would be so comforting. Because women really do not understand the male experience. So, for me, last night, it manifested as an emotional foray into the thought of being gay, not based on sexual desire. In any case, it's a thought I definitely would never have had sober.
