It really hurts but I'm torn on what to do

I went away to college last semester and met an amazing guy. I developed feelings for him, but we are friends. He is my really good friend. And I know that he cares about me.

My problem is, he has a girlfriend. The girl that he's with now has been friends with him for over 5 years, and they were together before, so I don't know how long they'll last.

My other problem is, it really wasn't until the last few weeks did I realize how much I like him. And I don't know if I can stand being friends with him because it hurts too much knowing that my title is just 'the friend'. But he still makes me happy when he plays the good friend to me.

So I'm torn between keeping the friendship that I have with him, or distancing myself. I'm scared that if I distance myself, I'll end up regretting it, but right now I'm really upset and I'm scared that when I see him again, I won't be the same because I'm unhappy. My gut is telling me that I should stay his friend, but I just don't want to be upset anymore.
What should I do?

 

yea ive been in a similar situation. Dont you kinda just wish you never met someone?
I mean, i guess i would stay friends with him, wat if they reak up and realizes that maybe you were the one..
I know how you feel though about wanting to distance yourself and like move on or whatever though
also i am really high right now so idk if that made sense? if someone reads thistell me if it made sense

 

Is There Something You Haven't Told Us rOLLin....?



Cheers Glen.

 

As a guy that has a lot of female friends as well as a girlfriend I can empathize with this a lot however as far as advice goes I'm at a loss. It's a very ordinary situation for you especially if you value the friendship too (on a side note people who say guys and girls can't be friends are full of shit). All I can say is that guys friend zone girls too and that I can't think of a single one of my female friends who I would even consider ending my current relationship for and my gf and I haven't known each other for 5 years either.

I think maybe acknowledge your feelings but also that he has a girlfriend and is happy, ride it out to see if your feelings leave (maybe by having sex with someone else or doing on dates) and then re evaluate. Push comes to shove you really can't be friends with someone if it hurts that much

 

Rollinstoned, you made sense, it's okay.

 

My advice is to do what you think YOU can handle.

I've been in your situation before and I've had both cases where I stuck it out and it turned out fine and became a great platonic friendship, and another situation where I stuck it out and told the girl I couldn't handle just being friends with them and needed a clean break. Other times I'd also make it clear that I just needed space and if I ever changed my mind I'd get in contact with them when I felt I could handle them as just a friend.

 

well i believe in getting what you want. so i would see where you stand with him and see if you have a chance, if not then don't tell him shit unless u r ready for rejection. some say this is playing games? maybe so but doesnt everyone?

 

Bitter Is, As Bitter Does...



Cheers Glen.

 

i guess it depends on how much you like him and how likely he is to break up with the girlfriend. if it seems to be something that's going to last and you really like him, it would probably be too painful to keep hanging around him. but if there is a reasonable possibility that he'll be single sometime soon... guys aren't like girls; female friends would generally be the first people we'd consider for a new girlfriend, not the last.

friendship should really be a mutually beneficial relationship. if you're not getting anything out of it other than hurt feelings, why stay friends?

no.