A little something...

hi! I'm new to this forum, and I want to come clean with something. Ever since about grade 7, I have this weird thing where my mom's noises really piss me off. Anything she does, thinking about her, even her presence gets me so pissed off. At first, I tried to hide it, but I couldn't. It's like there's another person inside of me controlling me, and they're so hard to fight. The thing is, though, is that I think her noises will affect me negatively. Like, one time we were eating dinner and she hit her fork against the plate, so I ran into the bathroom, and had to get rid of the noises so that nothing bad will happen. I have to perform these rituals. Yelling, screaming, cussing, anger, I just go crazy. But afterwards, when I feel like the noises are all gone, I go completely back to normal like nothing ever happened. Although, I am more agitated. I found out I have incredibly severe OCD. I went back to the table, anyway, and she coughed, but I ignored it. Later, I went to the bathroom again and stepped on a piece of glass. This is because I didn't perform my rituals, something bad happened. I know it's stupid, and I know noises have no physical properties, but I still believe it, and I don't know why. I had to see almost 10 psychologists/therapists/counselors over the course of five years. I've been on so many antidepressants/meds, been through so many tests, and worst of all, my family makes fun of me and says I do it for attention, which I'm not. I try so hard to tell myself to calm down, and that the noises will not affect me, but I still do it. It's like there's another person inside my brain that I cannot control. This is just a brief overview, there's much more. Thank you so much. Please help, I'm so desperate!! Sorry for my bad typing, I'm typing this on an iPod Touch and I'm lagging like hell.

 

Try yoga to quiet your mind. You can get free video streaming from yogajournal.com

It will help you gain control of the situation, and how your body reacts. The anger will fade, and hopefully you'll regain your life.

Also, this may pass as you get older. Being a teenager sometimes makes you hate your parents for no real reason.

 

Thanks ! I've tried yoga, but I'll keep trying to do it. I need to force myself to quiet my mind. Ugh I hope it does, I love my mom but thus stupid thing keeps getting in the way. Thank you! ))

 

my cousin had bad anxiety and OCD, the book 'Stop Obsessing!' by Edna Foa and Reid Wilson (both Ph.D) really helped him.

 

i saw almost this exact same thing on a show called "obsessed" on instant netflix.

are you that girl?!

 

my mom will piss me off doing little things like that too..
Mostly things I get pissed about. walking behind me while Im eating, playing with tv sets while Im eating, opening the doors while Im eating. Yes it revolves around eating,. because I believe eating should be done in peace. not chaos..

 

welcome ale:daisy:

 

It is sad that your family thinks it is funny, and think you are doing this just t get attention. You said you been to 10 therapist etc, already and nothing works. Maybe you should try writing down what exactly bothers you and try to figure out a way to avoid these things.

 

I would say you have repressed something from early child hood .Your mom spanking you or saying something . Get one of thoes doctors to regress you back to see what you have repressed . There are methods of self hypnosis that you could use , but you need to know what you are doing . desert rat

 

I'll have to check out that book, eggsprog. & no lol i dont think im that girl xD awwe yeah i agree eating should be done in private. does ur mum know it pisses u off?? & yea it makes me really sad that they think that. i once had to go to a mental hospital & my parents made me stay for another week because they didnt want me to be at home. i think im gunna keep a journal, that may help a lot. & hmm i never thought about that. i dont think im repressing anything, but its worth a try do any of u have any good yoga/relaxation tips? i checked out yogajournal.com & i like it

 

Don't worry , stay strong, and focus on yourself only. You get through this.

 

Awwe thank u! yes i can, ur right. i can get thru less. i shouldn't let a silly little thing like this interfere with my life

 

I've read something about people suffering from severe OCD, and what u're talking about was listed in there. A guy was experiencing the exact same feelings u're having with "external noises", but it wasnt related to a specific person, it was the noises everyone makes. So he couldnt go to public places because everytime he heard a person chewing a gum or the clicky sound of someone texting or whatever he would be in serious psychological pain. It makes me sad to think that OCD can ruin your life that much. But my point is, there are other people out there who know exactly what u are enduring, so there must be doctors who have studied that and can give u help. Hopefully u will find things that help u relax.

 

Maybe you are stressed about the changes in life... and are taking it out on a person who you feel is at fault? OCD has a tendency to get worse when stress levels are higher.

Finding an effective outlet for stress is a good starting point for minimizing the impact OCD has over your life. I.e. yoga, exercise, music

Another step which will be difficult at first, but help in the long run is to become aware of your internal dialogue when symptoms are present. Once aware, try to identify fallacies in logic. I.e. noises are harming you, anger toward you mother

Just a couple thoughts. Best of luck

 

Oo really? wow that's nice 2 know there are others out there with severe OCD. Poor guy tho, i feel bad, i know what it's like to suffer from that. thank u. & yes music actually helps a lot. i'm beginning meditation (as of last night) & i think i need to just give it some time. it's so difficult to focus tho :/ thank u !

 

I once sat on the commuter train across a table from a guy who chewed gum with his mouth open the entire trip. It took just about all my self-restraint to keep myself from leaping up and strangling him. I could listen to music to block the noise, but I wanted to do stuff on my computer, and I could see his mouth going a mile a minute over the top of my computer screen.

 

I do know this feeling, also!

I think I am very patient person. However, a 52 hour train journey to Vorkuta was end of my patience. Also I had terrible fever, migraine, and my headphones become broken soon in the journey. Next cabin was family with 3 children - shouting, crying and kicking on my cabin wall, day and night!

 

Damn, that's like torture

 

That makes Gitmo seem like a resort hotel.

 

Perhaps you will notice that your irritation comes from the fact that your desire for other things is not being met. In the case of a disturbance it is from the lack of focus. The dynamic of the condition disturbance is not outside of you. You would prefer to do other things but you are distracted. It is not the environment that is distracting, it is the indecision about what you want and where that comes from.