What should i do? (Advice needed)

my girlfriend and I have been going out for quite a while now, but lately the past few months she's always sad or 'upset' about something. Everyday's the same thing. I will always ask her whats wrong, and she always tells me she doesn't know (I believe her, i honestly think she doesn't truly know because we've talked a lot about this) But, this happens almost every single night, she will tell me she is upset, then i will spend the next few hours making her feel better, then by the end of the night she will feel good again and tell me everything is all better, but then the next night shes upset and sad again...?

For the first few months i didn't mind, it kind of made me feel good that i was able to make her feel better every night and stuff, but lately its getting kind of frustrating as to how she "doesn't know" and i can tell my attitude towards her is getting a little more harsh and uncaring... and i feel bad about that, i love her, but its getting kind of annoying now...

I know most of the time shes upset because of me (not that i do anything wrong) shes always upset and sad that she may loose me one day, because of what i want to do in the future (joining the military) and she's constantly paranoid of the future and that things wont turn out good, which makes her upset... she over thinks things a lot...

So, i don't know what to do... i truly do love her with all my heart, but i don't know what to do? The constant "saddness" is becoming kind of annoying like i've said... I thought it was finally over, during the entire week around christmas she was fine and seemed happy every day, but now just recently, a few days ago this "sadness" started coming back...

it could be depression? i don't know... but if its depression why am i able to make her feel better just by talking to her? then it seems after a few hours of not talking she seems upset again... its as if she constantly needs me, and its frustrating because i can't obviously always be there for her

just, what should i do?

 

skull fuck her


she sounds like she just wants you to pay as much attention to her as possible.
the whole idea of moping around because you might join the military is kinda lame - tell her it's your decision. or don't do it (i suggest that - fuck the military)

 

The only reason she'd loose you is because she's being sad? Honestly I don't think I'd put up with going to see my depressed girlfriend who is sad for no reason and having to cheer her up for hours every time I see her. I'd say dump her but be careful she sounds mildly insane and she might stalk and murder you with an axe over time.

 

+1

Sounds like she`s addicted to attention, and you`re her enabler. What I would do is make myself available only at pre-discussed (but, flexible) times; unless it`s a real emergency. And let her sort herself out the rest of the time.

I`m sad sometimes, but I`m ok. I can deal with it on my own.

 

I get what you guys mean, but the only reason she talks to me a loot about is stuff is because she doesn't really have anyone else to talk to, about personal kind of things, like she's obviously not going to talk to her parents about certain things, and the things she tells me she wouldn't tell her friends, she just trusts me a lot and we've known each other for a really long time and all... like, i don't care that she tells me a lot of things, because its not always a bad thing... i'm just saying, since shes been "depressed" its just been a bit frustrating because she doesn't know why shes depressed, and she has no reason to be...

 

I don't mean to make it sound as if she's one of the type of people that need attention, because she hasn't always been like this, just recently since she's been 'depressed' or constantly upset, she usually becomes really untalkative so i ask her if shes okay, then we get into a big discussion of how shes upset, and it usually lasts quite a while, but by the end shes always fine and happy again, i'm just saying that its getting kind of annoying now, like.. its becoming more of a chore now?

 

I think I understand. Whenever it felt like a chore, I would excuse myself and leave. At our times together, I would listen and empathize. But, allowing her to feel whatever she was feeling.

You can empathize whenever possible, but she`s ultimately responsible for her own feelings, IMO.

Good luck!

 

That's what I got told by a counsellor once. Everybody is responsible for their own feelings. Be there for her when you can and maybe it would help for you to tell her how YOU feel about it.